Who Cares What They Say About Our Families
By Teri Worten
Even in today's sophisticated society, single parent families are often stigmatized and thoughtlessly perceived as not entirely as functional as two parent families. Most single moms can verify how such of a stigma seems to linger over our heads like some dark, ominous cloud. For instance, men assume because we have children, we are desperate for husbands, schools believe us to be operating with a disability and very few churches have created ministries exclusively for us.
I could go on.
By some, our families are viewed as abnormal, incomplete or fragmented. Our homes are called "broken" and are indirectly associated with producing defective or maladjusted children. The sad reality is that the majority of the people who raise these criticisms have had limited exposure with successful single parent families and are narrowly interpreting "so called" research written by people who know little about us or the"human" side of our families. Allow me to be among the first to tell you that contrary to popular opinion, most single moms succeed wonderfully at raising healthy, happy well-adjusted children. In numerous categories, our family types outshine our two parent counterparts.
By no means am I glamorizing single parenting as an ideal family situation. Two-parent families do create a continuum of support invaluable to healthy youth development.
Nonetheless, the story doesn't end there.
Our families, however, do possess some specific, undeniable strengths that effectually enable us raise healthy, well-developed children. Our one-parent families tend to create a less troublesome environment than that of some of our two-parent families. For example, parents in a distressed two-parent family are often overwhelmed with maintaining a healthy marriage and can easily overlook the emotional and developmental needs of their children. Likewise, two parents in emotional duress inadvertently model an unhealthy, undesired model of family life in plain view their children. Growing up in such an atmosphere can influence harmful patterns and cycles of broken relationships throughout generations!.
On the other hand, single parent families don't fall victim to such pitfalls. Ideally, we can engineer stability and emotional wellness within ourselves without the added worries connected with or caring for a spouse. In short, all we have to worry about is ourselves! Within our homes, our children see no arguing or witness power struggles between the two authority figures.
As a result, many single parent homes are better equipped to provide a relaxed, fun home atmosphere for children to grow, develop and thrive. It has been stated that children of healthy single parents frequently acquire competencies and valuable life skills that prepare them to be productive, independent adults. Also, if functioning well our families tend to be to be closer and cooperative with one another.
Undoubtedly, our family structure does have its fair share of challenges, but none of them are fatal. Yes, ideally a child should have two healthy, well-balanced parents but it doesn't always work out that way. So we must accentuate the positive and go on to excel as mothers, flourish as women, and produce healthy young people despite being single and despite the prejudices against our family types. So, hold your head high and embrace who you are and where you are during this "single parent" season in your life.