Written: Spring, 1999
By Teri Worten
Like many single people, I have never been opposed to meeting "Mr. Wonderful". I don't actively or aggressively try to find him, but I often consider how much easier life would be if I had a partner. You know, a wonderful man to carry in the groceries when the weather is cold and rainy. Someone to pick up my son from school when I'm running late. A man to be my safety net if I lost my job.
A few days ago, I was expressing to God about how blessed I am in my life right now. Every area of my life is so abundant. It's fantastic to live on "more than enough"! That is, with the exception of one area - marriage. After a long pause, I heard a still small voice tell ask me this question:
Exactly, why do you want a Husband?"
Perplexed and almost insulted, I expressed my desire to experience the love and security that comes with having the emotional and financial partnership of a husband. Right then God began to show me how erroneous and distorterd my idea of marriage was.
You see, I wasn't so much looking for companionship or someone I could be a blessing to for a lifetime. What I was actually looking for was a "mini" version of God right here on earth. Someone to take care of me, provide for me, spoil me rotten and cater to my every "little" whim. It's clear to me now that my expectations were based on an awful lot of "taking" and very little "giving". Undoubtedly, in the right perspective glorious blessings of receiving do occur in love relationships, however, no one should marry a man soley for sanctuary or for security.
God is a very jealous God. He purposely created us to enter into a supporting, loving relationship with Him. He wanted us to "choose" to love Him. He wanted us to choose to trust Him-and Him only- as our only source and supplier. I think it's beautiful that He created us to need Him. Now, when we put anyone or anything in His place as primary "supplier", we set ourselves up for heartbreak, failure and unimaginable disappointment.
Marriage is a blessing continuum. We marry to bless another person's life until death parts us. We marry to give, not to take. More importantly, once we are married we maintain the knowledge that God alone is our source, not our earthly husbands. God has plainly promised to provide everything we could ever need. God doesn't reserve the richest blessings for those with Husbands. Blessings are the fruit of faith, dependability and spiritual maturity. Once He knows that He can count on us to not act arrogantly foolish after He gives us the new car or the new house [even to us single moms!] according to our faith.
Let me encourage you to pray and ask God to examine your heart and your expectations of marriage. Begin to search scripture and see what marriage really is and what it really is not. Ask God to begin to prepare you now for your husband and then get ready to be blessed!
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