By Teri Worten
Okay, single lady, you say you want a life-long mate, huh? You're sure? Well, here's a question for you... "Exactly, why do you want a husband?" I know that's a tough question. However, it's a question that every single woman, particularly the single mothers, should ask themselves before considering embarking on a new dating relationship. Is your primary motive for wanting a husband to experience the love and security that comes with having the emotional and financial partner? Or is it because you're tired of the loneliness associated with being unmarried? Or do you want to marry to fill a emptiness or a void in your life?
Sadly, many of us aren't seeking mates to be a life-long blessing to someone else. Instead, many of us are actually looking for a "mini" version of God here on earth to fill the empty spaces in their dull lives. After being single for awhile, it's easy to trick ourselves into thinking that a husband is the missing "link" in our chain of happiness but it's not. In fact, marriage can bring a host of brand new problems if your expectations are distorted or flawed. As you may know, there are many married women, Christian women, who are lonelier within their marriages than any single woman could ever be!
Sorry to deliver the dreadful news, but marriage is not the answer to heal your wounded spirit or to fill the void in your life.
There is good news. God promises to fill all those empty places in our lives. However, we must allow Him to do so by adapting a spirit of gratitude, discovering new and exciting ways to connect with Him and by opening ourselves up to new experiences and interest. In other words, get to know yourself and your God. Learn to love those quirky, weird idiosyncrasies that make you uniquely you! Then, when a mate finds you, you'll be a whole, complete person with interests and dreams of your own. Your conversation will be intriguing, your insights will be stimulating and your self-assurance will make you a invigorating to be around!
Further, allow God to dig into those old wounds that have warped your perceptions. Whether past hurts, generational cycles or society, seek God for full healing. There are so many wounded people in the world who have allowed past hurts to shape their expectations. I've encountered people who enter relationships with a dark pessimism, expecting the worst. Don't become one of those people. Begin your journey of healing and restoration today.
Pray about your expectations of a marriage union. Make sure your expectations are logical and open-minded. Marriage is only the cherry on the top of the pie. The actual "pie" is God and our beautiful journey with Him. Keep your deserts straight and your expectations realistic!
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