By Peter Murphy
Do you ever get an uncomfortable feeling in your stomach when you have to approach someone?
In situations like this does your mind go blank?
This is not unusual. That feeling is often the fear of rejection.
When you feel afraid your emotions take over, you feel tense and your ability to think logically vanishes into thin air.
And that is why you can talk to close friends without a care in the world but never know what to say when you meet new people. i.e. emotions cloud your thinking.
What is the answer to this challenge?
You need to take charge of the fear of rejection:
1. Imagine The Worst Case Scenario
Run it through in your mind. How will you handle rejection if it does happen?
Our fears often take on a life of their own. However when you can stop for a moment and plan in advance, whatever does happen is usually not so bad after all.
Once you accept this you will feel more relaxed and better able to deal with what does happen.
2. Decide What Rejection Means
When we react emotionally to rejection we can usually come up with some awful reasons why people reject us, such as:
- People dislike me
- I am a failure
- I am not worthy of their approval
- I am not good with people
These limiting thoughts are only making things worse for you. And the strange thing is that only you can choose what rejection means for you.
Meaning is a choice so why not choose more empowering meanings? Such as:
- I need to change my approach
- I can get better by learning a better way
- He is having a bad day and is too busy to talk
Decide what rejection really means before it happens and you will feel a lot better about yourself if it does happen.
Knowing what to say is not just a matter of what words to speak, that is only the tip of the iceberg, ninety per cent of the solution depends on you taking charge of your emotional and mental states.
When you do this you will be able to talk to anyone you meet with the same ease you talk to close friends.
One final point...
Are these techniques designed to be used once? No!
These strategies will in time become part of who you are and how you live. Like any skill the more you use them the better you will get.
Aim to improve slightly each and everyday and you will make huge progress in the coming weeks and months. As long as you make it a daily habit.
Doing a little now and again and expecting rapid progress is like exercising once a month and expecting to be slim and fit. Aim for steady, gradual improvement and you will grow even faster than you expect.
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