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Married But Not Engaged by Paul & Sandy Coughlin

Married But Not Engaged is the latest from Paul (and Sandy) Coughlin, a follow up to Paul's "No More Christian Nice Guy" book.

It's a "what YOU can do" for wives of bitterly sweet, passive Christian nice guys.

I learned so much from this book, about assertiveness vs. passivity, nice vs. good, about meek but bold vs. wimpiness, and best of all- about Christ! I too had, for the most part, imagined Christ as constantly gentle and self sacrificing, but Paul and Sandy pointed out scripture where he's bold and rightfully upfront with others.

While Married But Not Engaged is written for wives of passive husbands, I'm the passive one around here. I saw my own areas of weakness in this book, and also developed a new found respect for some of the bold statements my husband has made in the past that I had thought were too direct. I am glad I didn't yell at him and demand he become a "Christian Nice Guy!"

Many churches train Christian men to be doormats for all (overuse and misuse of "turn the other cheek"), instead of nurturing their bold and courageous sides as well as a servant heart. This book can help wives bring out the best in their husbands, nurturing those repressed responses, to bring out bolder, assertive leaders for Christ. Men and women alike can stop worrying about pleasing other people, and focus instead on pleasing God: whether that calls for a gentle answer or stepping into a conflict with the full armour of God.

© Rachel


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