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The Biggest Bait and Switch

By Trish Berg

I think motherhood is a kind of bait and switch trick. Kind of like when you see that ad in the Sunday paper for that adorable pair of leather boots only to find that they don't carry your shoe size or only have them in polka dot.

But they would be happy to show you the full price pair of leather boots they happen to have in your perfect size and color.

Bait and switch. They draw you in with an attractive sale and you end up buying a $200 pair of boots you never really wanted in the first place.

Not that I actually own a pair of $200 boots or shoes. Most of my footwear comes from Payless or Wal-Mart.

Motherhood is just like that. You are drawn in by the vision of snuggling with your baby, that inexplicable newborn aroma that makes you weak in the knees and the commercials where mom and dad and two kids jump on the bed Sunday morning all getting along, all perfectly happy.

Then, before you realize what happened, you have stretch marks you can't get rid of, an extra $25 pounds you can't lose, and kids fighting with each other and systematically destroying your house piece by piece.

I guess motherhood has to be a bait and switch deal because if someone were honest with you, you would run for your life.

"I have four children for you to raise. It will cost you nearly a million dollars to pay for all of their needs. They will keep you up all night long for the first few years each.

Their diapers will smell so rancid you will be weak in the knees. They won't be easy to potty train. You will have to get up in the middle of the night for the next twenty years to meet their needs, and wash more laundry than an NFL football team manager.

They will fight all the time. They will write with crayons on the wall. They will peel off wall paper, plug the toilet daily and never, ever, hang up a wet towel in the bathroom.

When they become teenagers, you will stay up all night long worrying about their whereabouts, who they are with, and what they are doing. They will want to drive your car, and you will pay exorbitant amounts of money in auto insurance..."

And the list goes on.

Yes, bait and switch is the only way to attract new victims, I mean moms, into our profession.

It can't be the pay. I have been a mom for over fourteen years and have yet to receive a pay check, vacation leave or sick day.

But I do have to admit that being a mom is a lot better than any $200 pair of boots I could ever buy, as if I could ever buy a $20o pair of boots since I have to buy shoes for four kiddos.

And yes, it is a bait and switch. But I am thankful I took the bait.

Just this morning, my seven year old daughter, Riley, climbed up on my lap, wrapped her arms around my neck, and hugged me tighter than a bear. And she whispered in my ear, "Mommy, I just love you.”

That is something I will wear all day long. Until they get home from school and argue over who gets the last handful of Goldfish crackers.

Oh well. I'm a mom. I'll count them out and use long division to figure that out.

That's why they pay me the big bucks.

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© Trish Berg, 2006-present
Trish Berg is author to The Great American Supper Swap, and Rattled - Surviving Your Baby's First Year without Losing Your Cool! She has been a guest ABC World News Tonight, Midday Connection, and The Harvest Show.
She is an internationally known speaker for ministries such as MOPS, Hearts at Home, and in Australia on Parenting Seminars Online. She has written for Today's Christian Woman, MOMSense, CBN.com and P31 WOMAN.
For more information, check out www.TrishBerg.com

Trish BergRead Trish's Simplifying Motherhood column at C'Moms

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