Need some advice.

[Blessed 2 B Zoe]

ok Sinead is fully potty trained and has been for some time. Things at home are steady and the only change is the fact that I am now seeing some one.

My problem at the moment is the fact that Sinead is both wetting the bed and wetting herself during the day. I have asked her what is going on and why she is being so naughty but she can not give me an answer.

I think I have worked out why she is doing it at school and that her answer is simply she thinks it is a monster in the loo.

Can any one help me with this I am really worried and very sad as to what is causing this.

[cjropher]

If there's fear, perhaps you need to go with her all the time right now, just for reassurance. As for at school, can you take her and talk her through everything before school starts each day for a week or so? Taking her fear seriously might help.

As for wetting just because, is there a toy that she really really wants? Right now, David is trained but still having some accidents. So I bought him a Thomas train, Percy actually, that he got to pick out. But it sits on the shelf with a sticker chart below it. When he is dry for 30 days, he will get the train. So far, I've seen a great reduction in accidents. He totally gets the chart and tells me when he hasn't had an accident and when he will get a sticker! hth

[Blessed 2 B Zoe]

I will try that with her and see how she goes. I explained it to the school and they showed her that there was no monsters in the toilet.

[Madre]

Although Sinead says it's "monsters in the loo", it might also be as a result of feeling some insecurity with the new relationship. Just a thought...

[Blessed 2 B Zoe]

I was thinking it might be cause mummy has a boy friend cause the other day I heard her praying and she said God please make my mummy happy and help her to love me.

I was single for 5 years and she had all my love and I think she thinks this will change. The one good thing that my relationship is doing, is the fact that I am with a single dad and he can see that I over stress. So he is helping me to de stress and take a step back from situations.

He and his daughter wanted me to stay over with Sinead tonight but I said no as I did not think Sinead was ready or that and I did not think that I was ready for that yet.

I am hoping that Sinead will settle down if not then I may have to re think a few things.

[jen1981]

I think it is possible that she is afraid of your new relationship. It could be an attention getting thing, not necessarily on a naughty way, but because she's afraid. She may think that she isn't enough for you now and consequently the ,"please help mummy to love me", thing. I wouldn't punish her for it, try giving her extra and undivided attention and see if that helps. Reassure her that you love her and that she is your number one priority. She really needs that security, especially at the age she is at. Hope things get better.

[Blessed 2 B Zoe]

Thanks she is improving slightly I hope I need to learn to relax about things and let her be. Over this week end I have felt empowerd to get the house into shape so that I do not have to be constantly worring over it.

I have managed to get her over 1 fear so very very proud of myself. Sinead is scared to death of halloween and thinks that monsters are real. Today on a shopping trip for food I took her into a shop selling halloween stuff. I showed her that this is how monsters are made it is not real just people in make up.

She wanted me to buy her something from here so I got her some horns ( I knw *sigh*) and some vampire make up. Next week I am going to turn her into a monster and show her that it is not real just make up and special effects. I am hoping she will go to bed tonight clamer knowing that monsters do not exisit.

So for now Mommy 1 Monster's 0

[GenLovesDen4ever]

He and his daughter wanted me to stay over with Sinead tonight but I said no as I did not think Sinead was ready or that and I did not think that I was ready for that yet.

Good good mummy. Good looking out for your little girl. This is such normal behaviour and I was gonna give you a stern talking to for saying she's just being naughty but believe me even little kids feel the shame of wetting themselves and if mummy thinks she's being naughty for doing it she is in a lose lose situation. Then I read the rest of the thread and saw how sensitive you are being with her and want to say thats awesome! That is exactly what she may need. My dd's wet themselves for a very long time. They are nine now and sometimes will still not quite make it to the toilet. We have investigated it to see if there is a medical reason why but there hasnt been anything found yet. Love her anyway and make out like its not a big deal but work with her thru it. She may even be uspet or ashamed like I said for doing it herself.

The way you handled halloween was AWESOME!! I am soooo Proud of you!! Letting her get dressed up and showing her that those monsters arent real is such a good way of helping her. Way to go!!!!

I have to edit to admit that I have been very frustrated with them wetting themselves. So I understand. I have been insensitive about it with them too. I think thats normal too, we may be supermums but we spend most of our time being human, lol.

[Blessed 2 B Zoe]

Thanks hunny I do not think my relationship with Mark is going to last. I have some douts with him right now. He does not seem to understabd why I am being cagy around Sinead. I know that he has a daughter but I am upset that I feel Mark does not understand.

I think I am not ready for a relationship so think it may be over for us. I think this would be best until I am in a better place.

[jen1981]

Good for you, Zoey! Sounds like you are making some great decisions with Sinead. My kids went through the same monster things, it can be frustrating! Hang in there, you are a very good mommy and Sinead is fortunate to have you.