Arguing

[SpiritFilledMomof2]

Not sure where to post this. We are having a problem with our 6 year old and arguing. Whenever we give her a direction, it is always met with a negative attitude and argument. It's completely getting out of control. [whatheadagainstthewall] Nothing we do seems to work with her on getting her to change her behaviour. We have tried spanking, taking away privilages, going to bed early, (only to be met with another argument about that!), and time out just to name a few. Anyone else going through this? Is this normal behaviour for a 6 year old? Do they grow out of it? What can we do to get her to cooperate? What have you done that seems to work? This is really becoming a major issue in our household and really starting to cause some tension in our house.

[luvmy4sons]

hmmmmmmm Is there anything else going on in the home? Any other unusual issues or problems or changes? Could you sit down and have a warm and close heart to heart talk asking if she has any idea why lately she has been so contrary and that you want to help her; could there be anything wrong? Lots of hugs and positive moments where you can grab them, lots of fun times so that a negative cycle doesn't get started is a thought. And of course consistent, kind, but firm discipline, with lots of scripture and reinforcement of what is proper obedience; which it sounds like you are doing....you know...kids go through "times". I will keep it in prayer for you. Keep on loving on her and giving her sturcture and boundaries and lots of prayer! You guys are in school together! It's so hard to be a parent. Certianly not for cowards!

[Madre]

Originally Posted by SpiritFilledMomof2

Anyone else going through this? Is this normal behaviour for a 6 year old? Do they grow out of it? What can we do to get her to cooperate? What have you done that seems to work? This is really becoming a major issue in our household and really starting to cause some tension in our house.

I think it's normal behavior, but certainly something you want to deal with. I don't think kids "grow out" of arguing, but just become more clever and tenacious at it unless you nip it in the bud. I would say that you want her obedience, not her cooperation. It's amazing how much ground even a 6 year old will take if she can.

Just a suggestion:
You might sit her down and tell her that from now on you will tell her to do something once (in a calm voice). She is to say, "Okay, Mom". If she doesn't say "Okay, Mom" and argues/back talks, then you will ________. I would really try to never fall into arguing with her and whatever you choose as a consequence to her arguing, be consistant. "Did you just argue with Mom? Remember what the consequence was for arguing?"

[JoyLynn]

I agree with you, Madre. Our parenting styles are unbelievably similar. These habits take quite a lot of work in the beginning and you need to stay totally consistent, but they sure do pay off and make everyone's life easier in the long run. Now, if I could just get people to stop saying I just got lucky.


Joy

[Robynn]

We are having alot of the same problem with Kiwi, she is 7 y/o.

Usually I will ot respond to it. It seems like the right thing to do, but in Growing Kids Gods Way, it says it just makes them think arguing is OK. When she sarts, she is told to stand in the corner for 7 min. (one min/yr of age). If she talks, time sarts over. sometimes she has to yell and scream, but I do not give in.

You know, I find that Nanny 911 and Super Nanny show has alot of really insightful advice as well, and they back it up with sound logic, too. Unfortunately, it's hard to find the show on tha air-go figure, hey?

[SpiritFilledMomof2]

Thanks for your input. I have tried a lot of what has been suggested. I also forgot to mention in my original post that is what you would consider to be Strong Willed. Sometimes time outs and other methods of discipline work, other times she will just argue about the punishment. It just seems that I work so hard with her. It's very draining sometimes.
No, there is not anything new or different going on at home. We have actually been struggling with this for some time, it has just gotten a little worse lately.

You might sit her down and tell her that from now on you will tell her to do something once (in a calm voice). She is to say, "Okay, Mom". If she doesn't say "Okay, Mom" and argues/back talks, then you will ________. I would really try to never fall into arguing with her and whatever you choose as a consequence to her arguing, be consistant. "Did you just argue with Mom? Remember what the consequence was for arguing?"

I have tried this. Sometimes she responds, sometimes she does not. And I am always consistent with the consequence which is usually time out or loss of tv or something else she likes. I have also pulled out the Bible and sat down with her to point out verses appropriate to the offense. It just seems like I go around in circles with her and she's just not "getting it" Do they ever "get it"?