No Answers

[rachel]

The PCOS related tests were normal, eventually looked good actually. Normally that is great news, right? But now I have no answers for my irregular cycles. Don't even have appts scheduled with specialists yet... doctor said to call them in two weeks if I don't hear anything before then.

The endo is probably a pointless visit at this point. I'm sure the gyn will give us a sperm test order and maybe... like some doctor told another childless not by choice lady.. tell me to drink apple juice or some other bizzare advice. My doctor today told me to try OPKs. I didn't respond by telling him I have 100 in my drawer and another couple hundred in landfills. Just nodded.

I could probably set aside funds to pay for some low level fertility treatments in a few years but I have mixed feelings. May be hard to get dh on board; he wouldn't like to hear bad news on his end. Totally disappointed now. Nobody has a pill to fix me. Maybe I'll try some extreme diet like borderline raw.. since so many claim it heals x, y and z.

[Kara]

Rachel, I've been where you are at and I know how fustrating it can be. I purchased a very informative book entitled, "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" and learned tricks that eventually led us to conceiving our first child. I purchased the book after being on fertility meds and even a failed IUI attempt. It's amazing how well the homeopathic route combined with lots of prayer worked for us.

I'm still praying for you. My heart sincerely goes out to women fighting the infertility battle.

[rachel]

Have had her book for at least 7 years. In the last 10 years I've tried everything.. short of having a diet like I'm fighting cancer. Which I may very well try now. But it seems it'll take a miracle just shy of immaculate conception...

[gamommyto4girls]

I'm sorry, ((hugs)). I can't imagine the frustration and disappointment of still having no answers.

[buttercup_97140]

Rachel,
I'm so sorry you were not able to get an answers! I want you to know that I will keep you up in prayers, not only for a sweet little one for you, but contentment in your life. I know you are in so much pain right now not having a reason, but I encourage you to really try and rest in your faith and in the Father's arms. He has a plan for you...and no one may ever know why He didn't open your womb, or opened it later in life, but we know He loves you and is not doing this TO you.
Can you remind Dh that having a sperm count is painless...and if there is an issue on his side at least you will have knowledge....if he does have issues, they are there now whether he knows it or not...and that doesn't make him more or less of a man....KWIM? And lets be honest...men get to ENJOY the process of giving a sample....they even have special condoms for this test and us woman have to be poked and prodded and everything so it's really not that bad for them. If he hasn't ever had a sperm analysis I would totally go there....men are harder to fix, but knowing is so big....would he be willing to see that you need that right now?

I wonder if there is a baby being conceived somewhere, or sometime coming up that is meant to be yours.....I know how the desire to have your "own" child can be so very strong, but sometimes the Lord has a different plan for us. I have a friend who tried fertility treatments for years without getting pregnant, but she ended up adopting a child from another country AND then a girl in our church's mother died and that left her alone..so they were able to adopt her and give her an amazing life....if they had gotten pregnant, who knows where Gabby would be today...probably in foster care still.

I love you dear sister and hope that you do not give up hope......I hope that you don't think you are being punished by the Lord....let me know if there is anything I can do....I am praying!!

Blessings,
Amber

[BlessedMommy]

I'm so sorry to hear that, Rachel.

[believeNgrace]

I'm so sorry dear sister. No answers is so frustrating that I can't even truly imagine all of the emotions. You've endured such a journey and yet have remained so faithful. Continued hugs and prayers for you.

[Jessy]

I just have no words, Rachel. I will continue praying for you.

[plaid]

Oh Rachel, I am so sorry and frustrated for you.
Thinking you need to be really honest with your Dr too, if you have tried billions of opk's and that has not worked he needs to know that now you are on to the next step. And if you don't want to wait 2 weeks it is ok to tell him that too. I would phone him back and tell him you are tired and need answers now. They really need to get your history and get on your side to help you fight. I am so sorry you did not get any answers.
The diet does sound like a good idea, I have spent lots of time studying natural fertility sites and they always talk about your diet first.

[rachel]

His next step is fertility clinic.. I don't see wiping out our savings or piling on debt as wise so we'd have to start a little fund and hope we have enough in 3-5 years, before I'm pushing 40, if we want to try anything short of IVF+.

I'll try to convince dh to get a test just to know what's what-when I see that gyn-and I'll ask her about those London fertility clinics (at least have a consult?) or if there is a decent one closer (so maybe in Spring? The "two weeks" I mentioned is hearing about appointments from the gyn/endo, they haven't gotten back to Dr yet. It'll be months, I'm sure, before I get in.)

As I was walking out a mom with a newborn and a 1 1/2 year old were walking in. The toddler had big blue eyes like dh so.. yeah.. my bicycle doesn't come with wipers so I spun home and soaked the road. Maybe I knew this would happen, in the back of my mind. To hold loosely to my wants and firmly to Him. Face to face no one has ever indicated it's in His plans for me and occasionally I've had someone pray that I am able to handle whatever happens... as if something bordering it's not meant to be, so, watch over her.

There were cysts on my right ovary, which was the side that hurt around "O" in this 37 day cycle I just finished, so... even if it's not PCOS I will treat my diet/lifestyle like it is and hopefully ovulate more regular. I have to wonder if we're both shooting blanks, I saw some obscure mention online of the corpus lutem being released and no egg (or no good egg, anyway) so you still have the hormones, etc., appearing normal. But the answer to that is probably IVF and we long ago decided that wasn't plausible for us; too far from family if we have multiples; too low of a success rate; moral questions too. But this is all for fertility consult that... I have no idea what the wait is. If I get into gyn in 3-6 months, then what's the next wait.. man, it could be a whole year, that is nuts.