For Moms of Young Daughters (age 6-9)

[mamallama]

When did you start to notice a change in your daughter's hormones? I am guessing that is what it is....gosh this seems so early! Gracie is six...will be seven in four months. Here are some things that I have been noticing with her:

- lower self confidence (puts herself down (ie: "I can't do anything right!")
- very emotional (really about everything...good, bad...just tears up more easily....definitely different than whining or being generally upset about something)
- and here lately I noticed she had BO for the first time (We picked up some pretty smelling girly deodorant for her this week at the store. I made sure to make a big deal about her being a big girl now just like Mommy. )

I need some prayer/advice on how to help her along in this stage of her life. I want to boost her self confidence for sure! But how to handle her emotions?

Gen? Joy? I know you both have older girls....how did you handle things??

[RhysMom]

My DD just turned 8 in August and all of those things are starting. The dedorant thing is a must! The emotional rollar coaster is crazy! Little things scare her or if her brother gets hurt she will cry in his place when he isn't even bothered about it. Then once she starts crying she begins crying even more because she can't make herself stop. Geesh! She freaked out when she had underarm hair and I want to say that started a few months prior to her 8th birthday and the latest revelation has been mysterious "hair" in the nether regions followed by complaints that her chest area is tingling. Now, I don't remember any tingling when I started to develop but yeah, she is certainly doing things much earlier than I had planned on.

Sara

[tobikay]

Awesome question. As a now single mother of a 7 year old young lady (drama queen, teenager wanna be...)I am reading the responses with interest.

I noticed about a year ago that daily deoderant is a must. My daughter has always been so dramatic about everything, I don't know that I will see much of a difference (Lord I hope not).

I will be heading to the bookstore to look for that bible study!

[stephwhiz]

Autumn turned 8 in July and hasn't started getting hair "anywhere" yet. She uses deodorant when she thinks about it but she really doesn't have to use it yet because I've not notice her smelling or anything. I dread the upcoming years

[Tammyn4As]

Oldest started around 8 with BO and around 8-9 breast buds. Her period started about a year after that which is normal.

[plaid]

Originally Posted by JeanineAnne

Hey Becca, when Rae was younger (7-8ish) we did a Bible study together called "Growing Little Women" by Donna Miller & Christine Yount. They have an older girls version too (we did that one between 11-12). It helped Rae with her confidence and got us talking about more intimate growing up things. By the time we reached the sex talk, there was no uncomfortable subjects between us.

I've watched my daughter walk through some really tough situations already and she just turned 13. But I have also walked them along side her reinforcing the fact that God is always there. As much as we as moms don't want to hear or admit it, how we carry ourselves, handle ourselves, and how we rely on God is very much on display for our children and they mimic that. One of the best things I did, looking back now, was worked on keeping my lack of self confidence in check and to put God as the primary in our daily lives.

One of the other things that Rae and I constantly do is search God's Word on how many times He calls us His beloved, His daughter, His love, just that we are His. If you can ingrain into your daughter that she is loved by her Saviour in a very real and intimate way, very little negative will pentrate her soul.

Thank you for the book recommendation. We just started Leading Little Ones To God, but I would really like to do something with just Dd. That looks good.

[GenLovesDen4ever]

Well, for us its been a learning curve. My girls are 10 1/2 and one of them started with the emotional mood swings and pushing with the attitude about a year ago, it kind of coincided with our move across country, so this year had been a bit of a battleground. Ive had to re-enforce boundaries where backchat is concerned, as well as learn patience. I think personality comes into play as well in this stage. I say that because I have one girl who is a major drama queen. She kind of recognises it now. And I have another girl who takes challenging situations on like water on a ducks back, she just rolls with it. Comeing up to 11 I can see physically how they are starting to grow into little ladies. Now. Neither of my girls seem to have any kind of body image concernes what so ever, which is a miracle, of sorts, bc at this age I really had already begun to struggle with it. I dont know if thats a personality thing too or if its to do with the fact that Ive always been very careful about what we watch for entertainment purposes, tv, movies. By 11 I was already on a steady diet of the likes of 90210, and mtv. Most kids are these days. They arent allowed to watch stuff that depicts young girls kissing boys, programs that deal with dating at their age. Nothing like that. I really believe that this is a major reason *we* dont have the issues I had at their age.

Now, the simple answer I think that will help everyone in our family during this stage is to recognise what is going on, first of all. Bc I can bite back if Im not careful and treat them like they are still babies, young children, which they are but Im talking about disciplining when I should listen more. Which is my next part of my 'walking thru this' strategy, I am working on learning to listen more. Another thing is to show my girls that Im only human and I make mistakes and I sincerely apologise when Ive mucked it up when dealing with them, been insensitive, been moody myself, etc. And its a work in progress. Patience, understanding, listening lots, even tell them when they are being irrational, thats something we have to do sometimes. Aknowledge it. I talk to them about how I deal with my raging hormones, I talk about what I went thru at their age, how they fall out with their friends every other day, thats an issue we keep having to deal with. Its the end of the world and a reason not to go to school when it happens. My one girlie can take it very personally and finds it hard to cope with. So I talk them thru it a lot.

[SpiritFilledMomof2]

My oldest is now 9 and started with the hormonal outbursts about 2 years ago. It can be challenging and frustrating for me at times I have to admit. It is especially hard with her because she has always been "strong willed" or "high spirited". I often have to take a step back and stop myself from reacting when she is moody. I also have to remind myself that this is how God made her. I constantly pray for wisdom and guidance on how to parent her.

I like the suggestions some you have made as far as turning to the word and admitting when I am wrong.

The teen years are going to be challenging and I am going to need all the support I can get!