Don't touch me!

[LovinMommyLife]

I know part of this is because I just had a baby... please tell me it gets better? This last pregnancy and now, with a newborn and toddler in the house, I am SO touched out!! Poor dh can't understand why I don't want to hug him or even worse, kiss him. But by the time he gets home, I just need space! I love to talk to him across the room, but I just am not into the snuggling thing! Does it get better or is it just life with 2 kids? O and I should add, Ashlyn's love language must be touch, because she's a BEAR unless she's gotten enough snuggles for the day. I used to LOVE to snuggle up to my man at the end of the day and I loved all the random hugs and kisses, but ever since I got pg with Kiera, not so much

[melloyellochelle]

It will pass, I think. You have a newborn. They require a lot of touch and holding and nursing, on top of you still recovering from pregnancy and delivery. I think it's normal.

However!!! I totally agree with Esther. We, as mommies, need to be so very mindful of our hubbies and their needs too. His needs are just as real as our kiddos. I know if my hubby doesn't get a kiss when he walks in the door and we don't say a good hello, it just throws us off. He doesn't feel connected to the rest of us. I know it's so hard to get over that "touched out" feeling. I totally understand! And I am a touchy person with my family. I love it! But there are times I just have to have space. I try to be conscientious of when that time is though. When hubby gets home from work isn't a good time for me to request space. Maybe an hour later, or so. Like Es said, I try to be ready for DH's arrival home. Have the house a little bit picked up. Have an idea for dinner. And be ready to communicate with an adult. LOL! That all sounds great, eh? Some days I don't succeed. Some days 4:00 arrives by a complete surprise! But I still try to be there for him.

All that to say, every man is different. AND you are very much still in the throws of adjustment. It took me well into 10/11 months PP to really feel like I was getting things done while he was at work and ready for his arrival home. BUT I had a lot working against me for a bit too. That was totally circumstantial though.

[kim]

I'm right with you, Anna. But I agree with the other ladies.... we need to find a way to unwind enough to let hubby in too. It will get better. It just takes time - and it's different after every child.

[Margi]

Originally Posted by savedbygrace

I remember when I was nursing, especially when they were really young and ate often my dh and would be fooling around and I would tell him to lay off the ta-ta's but at the same time I couldn't blame him. The only time I have big ta-ta's is when they're full of milk! LOL

Ha! That has totally happened here too

Anna... I've been a bit that way ever since I had kids... it's something I always have to work on because I've been touched and pulled and tugged on and hugged and kissed and needed ALL DAY and the last thing I want is another needy person :/

But I think if we do just make it a priority and get a moment to collect ourselves and prepare for meeting hubby at the door, etc. It almost needs to be a mental re-adjustment. I'm also a FIRM believer in date nights, stealing time away when it works. It's not that easy with a newborn but that time is so short!

[LovinMommyLife]

Thanks for the reminders ladies! I know I need to do a better job of trying to prepare myself for when he gets home. And thanks for letting me know I'm not alone!!

Originally Posted by savedbygrace

I remember when I was nursing, especially when they were really young and ate often my dh and would be fooling around and I would tell him to lay off the ta-ta's but at the same time I couldn't blame him. The only time I have big ta-ta's is when they're full of milk! LOL

That is SOOO the same way here... from an A (before Ashlyn) to a D while nursing. Dh thinks its great, but I gotta say I'm not such a big fan

[LovinMommyLife]

O and I wanted to add...
Margi, I TOTALLY agree on the date thing. My in laws are in total agreement and are awesome about babysitting so dh and I can go out on occasion

[melloyellochelle]

LOL! Esther, I love you! But it's awesome and true.

[LovinMommyLife]

Originally Posted by savedbygrace

if he wants you to be sticking those D's in his face (TMI) then i'm sure he would be willing to help out. Kwim? (sorry if that last part was a bit.... forward)

Yes, he is very helpful! Ashlyn is a TOTAL daddy's girl which is fine by me I LOVE seeing that relationship! He is awesome about helping me out though!

Originally Posted by savedbygrace

Yup. Every Time I get pregnant he says "yeah the boobie fairies will be coming" I go from an A to a D as well. Insane.
You don't know how bad I want to just squirt him in the eye with them LOL

LOL! We are so married to the same person!

[Margi]

I go from barely a B to DD... I love it cuz I finally fill clothes out nicely... but poor hubs, mine are so sensitive he can't get too near :/

[buttercup_97140]

I also think it's super important to pray for your relationship with Dh. During the times when your drive might be low, you are over tired/over touched, dh still has his needs and desires for you. Of course we want to enjoy being with our Dh, but sometimes I think we need to put aside our own issues, even for a short time, to nurture our husbands, to nurture our marriage. Usually I feel the least sexy when Dh hints around. I'm usually barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen. Literally, but he loves me and wants to show me how he feels. I need to learn how to put off my issues for a while and give to my husband. It's a total brain thing. I do know the Lord has blessed me and other women I know when they put themselves aside to bless dh and they end up being blessed themselves. We need to shut the "feeling" center down and go with what we know the Lord expects of us as wives. When we submit to that, it can be beautiful and amazing! The relationship can also thrive better when you show love, even when you don't want to or are struggling to show it.
Marriages come first (after Jesus that is) so we need to nurture that too!

Pray dear one, pray and the Lord will hear those prayer and He wants to bless you and your marriage!

It does get better....or we wouldn't be on #6! LOL

Blessings,
Amber