Bedtime woes

[BlessedMommy]

We are polarized in this house--I have one fantastic sleeper and one child that is not a good sleeper.

With Micah, I get him ready for bed and put him down and he just lays down his head and goes to sleep. He rarely cries when going to sleep and if he does, it's usually because of good reasons like teething. He sleeps all night normally (10-11 hours).

Hannah, on the other hand, more than "makes up" for his good sleeping, LOL. She will get up 50 bazillion times after I put her to bed for the night. It's not uncommon to put her down to bed at 7:30 and have her still awake at 9:30! She will get up for water or because she's scared or whatever. I feel guilty, because after her getting up a few times, I'm pretty much yelling at her to get in bed, then I feel guilty for yelling. I've tried different punishment methods for getting out of bed. Obviously, we're still having issues. Sigh. It really cuts into our adult time in the evenings.

Even when I lay down with her, a lot of times it still takes her a long time to fall asleep. She will often wake up in inconsolable fits of screaming and wake up and tearfully run to us. Or worse yet, she will just kick and scream and not be able to be reasoned with at all. I assume that those are night terrors.

She comes and crawls into our bed almost every night.

I just have to smile knowingly when someone implies that if you're a good parent and doing things right, you'll have a good sleeper and your kid will transition easily to sleeping on their own. It's not always that simple!

Hannah is my high need kid. She gives me enough trouble for 3 kids generally. She wasn't fully PT'ed until 3 1/2 and by the time that she was, it cost us carpet replacement.

So I guess that it's logical that she would be more high need in the area of sleep.

I just need to find something that works to keep her sleeping. Obviously, punitive methods haven't worked to keep her in bed. Should I start a reward chart and have a box of treats that she can pick from for each night that she goes to bed and stays there?

Thanks in advance for any suggestions that you can give.

[His butterfly]

Our second born is like that. High needs when it comes to sleeping. She often wants to come to bed with us.

What works for us most of the time is to establish a bedtime routine in which she already has had a snack/glass of water/pottied before going to bed. Then after we tuck her in if she gets up we simply return her to bed. We don't say anything at all just take her to bed. Kind of like half ignoring her because we don't talk to her at all. After awhile she will go to sleep. If she gets up in the middle of the night we send her back to her bed. We don't ever lie down with her to get her to sleep because it just exacerbates the problem for us. It has gotten better but it still occurs from time to time.

The big problem with this kind of behavior is pinpointing what the root cause of it is. Is it that she just wants to be with you and has a hard time sleeping on her own? Is it that she desires more attention? Is it just a bad habit that is hard to break? Figuring out the root would be a good first step to figuring out how to get her to sleep in her bed.

[Violet]

My husband is like that too. He can put his head down and be out in a second. I usually take a while to stop my mind moving.

Our children take forever to go to sleep too.

[Eva]

have you tried putting on some soft music or a talking bible cd when you put her to bed? We used to have to lay with micah til he fell asleep but a couple months ago we started putting on soft worship music or talking Bible and then leave the room and he goes to sleep on his own. Hope you find something that works soon!

[BlessedMommy]

That is a fantastic idea, thanks Eva!

I should really look into playing something for here when she goes to sleep, maybe Bible or Bible stories. I'll bet that it would help a lot.

[teelee]

Eva's idea is great. We use a sound machine in baby DS's room and a small fan in Eldest's room. It seems to help knock out any noise. DH's company had a outing this past weekend and a couple there were talking about how their boys who are 6 and 9 still come get in bed with them. Especially during storms. When I told them what we did they said wow we never thought of that.

I really wish you could talk to my friend IRL Lisa. You all would have a lot to talk about. Her daughter quit taking naps at 2 and still has a hard time sleeping. She will lay there for 2 or 3 hours every night. She also has ADHD and is on medication. My friend and her DH just gave up and now let her sleep with them. Her DH sometimes goes and gets into the daughters bed.