Yes the Bible tells us that unless we come before God with a clean heart (i.e. not harboring unforgiveness) He will not forgive us:
red mark 11:25-26
So, give it over to God. Sometimes He request that you involve the other person, but I believe most of the time truly giving it to Him is what He wants the most. If you are truly seeking forgiveness for sins committed against you, your heart will soften towards that person just in the course of giving it over to God.
Here is where the forget part comes from: read romans 4:5-8
Here is my humble opinion on forgetting. First its hard to forget and second, when you do remember take it as a nudging from the Holy Spirit. Maybe there is something or someone that triggered that memory of hurt. When it comes up in your mind the best thing to do is to turn it over to God right then and there. Don't beat yourself up over it, it's like God saying "dear, we aren't there yet but don't let it fester, give it to Me".
I found this quote from Stu Linder in an article over forgiveness in marriage from crosswalk.com. I think it really gets to the heart of forgiveness:
Why is it so hard to develop an attitude of forgiveness? Satan preys on our sinful pride that manifests itself in the form of a reluctance and inability to readily forgive and forget, so he magnifies the injury and constantly reminds us of the injustice in an effort to encourage us to either seek vengeance or vindication. God, however, is responsible for dealing with both those issues, so if we truly trust in God and don't lean on our own understanding, we will know that His perfect justice will prevail. We won't need to keep a record of wrongs, nor will we need to refer to our list of rights as a means of preventing future injury.
What is truly exciting is that God has not only given us motivation to forgive others, but He has also promised to provide a blessing which is in direct proportion to the severity of the hurt we have forgiven. Jesus told us that if we don't forgive, we will not be forgiven, and He has promised that those who show mercy will receive mercy. I know I certainly want mercy, not His justice.
I would guess that forgiveness is a huge stumbling block for all Christians, especially woman. We tend to harbor emotional things longer than men. I can speak from experience when I say that giving it over to God is the most freeing experience I have ever had.