11-04-2006, 12:26 AM
Our ds is almost 5 and he doesn't want to take responsibility for anything. If he does something naughty it is always his sister's fault or it was an "accident". I still punish him and have him say sorry for specifically whatever it was that he did, but I'm kind of baffeled. Is this normal or is it something I need to worry about more or do something else about? He's our oldest so I haven't been through this before. :roll:
11-04-2006, 12:42 AM
I dunno. Maybe he's pushing his limits? One of my in-law's children I have seen do this over and over again:
He will ask to go outside. They will say OK, but do not play in the mud. He says that means I can go outside? They say yes, but you understand you can't play in the mud? He says ok and leaves. Then... he is found in the mud!! He is asked why he disobeyed and he says something to the effect of "Oh, I didn't understand what you meant." When obviously he did.
Kids do that all the time just to see what they can get away with. Mine's too little to do that yet, but i've seen it over and over again in kids i've babysat. just testing their limits you know? It's also lying which is also wrong. It's totally normal for kids to test their limits. Kids are naturally rebellious, it's their sin nature until they are "born again" and even after we are born again and have a new nature we tend to keep more rebellion around than we should....that goes for adults too.
Anyway, I think you are doing the right thing in not letting him get away with it, so to speak. You know your child the best so you can probably tell when something is a real accident or if he is just trying to get out of trouble or test his limits. Just one more thing to pray about. :)
11-04-2006, 01:06 AM
I thought he was trying to get out of trouble, but he still does it even though I'm consistent about punshing him. I really want to stop this because he has to learn to take responsibility for his actions. :roll:
11-04-2006, 01:11 AM
Well, make it clear he will be additionally be punished for lying. For instance, if he say, hits his sister, and lies about it, then punish him worse. but if he tells the truth, then perhaps his punishment will not be so bad? One concept is "judgment or mercy" have your kid pick mercy by repenting, stopping what they did and asking for forgiveness OR they can pick judgment by being stubborn and lying, or pretending to pick mercy but continually disobeying the same rule, so they get punished. I have never used this method but i know of parents who have used it with success. it is also a good introductory to how God deals with us when we break His laws, we can always choose... judgement, or mercy?
11-04-2006, 03:08 PM
Thanks for the help. I don't tolerate lying, but sometimes he isn't lying. Maybe his sister did take his car but he needs to realize that he has to admit what he did wrong too. I deal with what she did seperately. Hopefully he will outgrow it if we keep being consistent with discipline. Maybe I need to try to explain why it is wrong to him more. I forget that he is quite capable of understanding. :roll: