Vote on the poll. :)

I voted going from 1 to 2 only for reasons that affected our family. I had some health issues near the end of my pregnancy and had a newborn that suffered from GERD really bad.

I voted other because Ive forgotten. I think whats going to be important is the fact that just like the joy from giving birth replaces the pain of labour, the difficulties of adjusting to having more then one child are such a small part of the motherhood experience. When I was back there, I couldnt see the light at the end of the tunnel, now that its all behind me, its such a small part of our memories. It was hard back then, my life was SO difficult at the time. I had just come over to the Uk from the states, with twin babies, then immediately fell pregnant again and in 9 months we had our son. So I was adjusting to a new country, being a new wife, and a new mom. When I say things were difficult. I mean just that. Honestly. But its all in the past. If you keep that in mind, that this too shall pass, and keep praising when things get difficult, you will glide thru. I know you are anticipating difficulties and Im guessing you are feeling anxiety already. Do what you can medically, like you mentioned in another thread, then seriously rest in the Lord. Let Him guide you to relevant scripture in the storms and praise Him anyway. If you have to spend days in a heap on your knees you will NOT be worse off for it! I can promise you that as a certainty!

Going from 0 to 1 was difficult for us. DH and I had been married for 10 years before we had our first child. We were so used to having a lot of time for each other that it's now difficult to share it with Rebekah. Don't hear me wrong-worth every minute of it! It's just been a huge adjustment!

Megan
03/06/98 - Married DH
10/10/08 - Welcomed Rebekah Faith

It was *Definitely* harder going from one to two children than from say two to four (because we had twins) or four to five. Something about having just that one little person to spoil with your attention and then having another to share it with.

It was an adjustment getting used to that... but once we all found our niche it was like we had always had two children. Adding three or more has just been far easier... the others are older, can find their spot in the family, help with the new little one if they like, share in the love... it's all easy and wonderful. :)

Now that's just my personal experience, others may have a different opinion. After adding number two, hub was sure he didn't want more and I was iffy about it because of how difficult adding number two was... but, the Lord spoke to both of us on that and here we are. I'm glad we didn't let that "speedbump" hinder us in the end.

Involving number one in the life of number two was a big part of our adjustment... she needed to be allowed to help, hold, and love the baby as often as possible and she was just fine with her. When I tried not letting her do things to interact... that's when I saw some jealousy or rivalry show up. As long as I included her as much as possible... it was like it was *our* baby... and she was still very much a part of the family. Make sense?


Anywho... sorry for the book... that's *our* experience! :)

Ruth...you are setting yourself up bad here.
You've fretted time and time again over this transition from one to two kids....many of us here have already told you we thought that was THE toughest one. Did you really *need* to see that all again?

I think you need to just relax. Stop being so anxious about everything it's not making things any better.

Everything will be fine...just fine! Trust. :)

You will adjust to having two just as you did to having one. Use and trust your intuition momma.

I was afraid to vote! I didn't want to add to your anxiety, lol. But yeah going from 1 to 2 was the hardest for me. Two reasons.. my oldest has always needed a lot of attention so she showed a lot of jealousy with the arrival of a sibling, and I really just had to lower my expectations. Being a super-mom and getting it all down is a lot easier with 1 child.

since Tara didn't mention it in her post I have to add


"how big is your God?"

Yes, the transition from 1 to 2 is tough, but God can overcome all anxiety, fear, depression. Lean on Him, lean on your DH, your mom, your friends...don't hesitate to seek help. YOU WILL DO JUST FINE!!!!

I think you need to just relax. Stop being so anxious about everything it's not making things any better.

Everything will be fine...just fine! Trust. :)

You will adjust to having two just as you did to having one. Use and trust your intuition momma.

I unfortunately wasn't anxious enough about preparing myself before number 1 and didn't realize what a total upheaval it would be. If I adjusted to number 2 in a similar manner as number 1, then we will all be in trouble, kwim?

But you're right, polls don't do as much help to prepare, as actual preparation. I've done plenty of that. I probably shouldn't have even put up the poll. But I've also seen many folks (on a different forum) say that number 2, 3, 4, etc. was easier than number 1. So I didn't necessarily take it for granted that everyone finds number 2 the hardest.

For me it was going from 3 to 4. I had DH home with me for almost 2 weeks and on the day he was set to go back to work I "freaked" out! I had no idea how I was gonna deal with 4 kids and 3 of them were in diapers!! I had 4 kids under the age of 5, it was crazy for a while but obviously I adjusted and got use to them :)
Now, I have no idea how going from 4 to 5 is going to be. I am kinda thinking it will be easy because in the fall the older 4 will all go off to school. It will be interesting :)

Not going to vote either Ruth. Every single age and stage and addition took adjustment. Whether its going from number 1,2,3... or potty training, or teething, or sleeping through the night, homeschooling or regular school, sibling disagreements, they all have their challenges. Each day full of their joys if you look, its important to let the little things go. Prepare for this new baby and just relax. Its so important not to worry about it, be conscious of the changes ahead and pray for the Lord to supply you with those needs ahead.

You will be a good mom, tell yourself that. We can't worry what tomorrow brings, simply take on the challenges of today and enjoy every moment.

hugs and prayers Ruth

I guess I wasn't thinking "hard-hard" as much as it was just a *change*. It wasn't anything daunting or really challenging. You're a patient and wonderful mother... you guys will do wonderfully extending from one to two! :) I truly believe that the situation turns out how you *expect* it to... if you're thinking positively and believe it's (faith) going to be easy and wonderful... then it most likely will be! Perspective is everything! :)

I guess I wasn't thinking "hard-hard" as much as it was just a *change*.

That's good to hear. And really my only reference for comparison is #1, with whom I had PPD. I hear that PPD makes *everything* harder. That's why it's so difficult to imagine anything more difficult than that. I'm trying to think positively but I'm also trying to be realistic and prepare for possible bumps in the road.

After DD1, I didn't really have a lot of preparation in place for getting as much help as I needed, and I think that that made everything harder.

I must be a minority. I didn't find going from 1 to 2 all that bad. I actually found it easy. I found going from 0 -1 harder than from 1-2 but I wouldn't say that going from 0-1 was hard. Just the biggest adjustment for us being new and all to the parenting thing. When Micah came along, everything just flowed. I was more emotionally prepared as I had already done the whole newborn thing with Abby IYSWIM. Abby was great when Micah came along too, she was very patient when I had to sit and feed Micah and she was a big helper. don't worry, it might not be as hard as you're thinking it will be. Going from 0-1 is hard as you just don't have a clue about this parenting thing:-D Now you're a pro, so no need to worry.

Abby was great when Micah came along too, she was very patient when I had to sit and feed Micah and she was a big helper.

I think that can make all the difference. Maybe it would be wise to start preparing dd. Try not to put too much pressure on her but maybe comments like "your going to be such a big helper" "aren't you excited to find out if you have a brother or sister"? IDK.. just a suggestion. Also when the baby is born try to involve her as much as possible in caring for him/her. I think if Brooke didn't get so jealous and act out the transition going from 1 to 2 would have been much easier!

I think that can make all the difference. Maybe it would be wise to start preparing dd. Try not to put too much pressure on her but maybe comments like "your going to be such a big helper" "aren't you excited to find out if you have a brother or sister"? IDK.. just a suggestion. Also when the baby is born try to involve her as much as possible in caring for him/her. I think if Brooke didn't get so jealous and act out the transition going from 1 to 2 would have been much easier!

Yeah, we have talked to Hannah a lot about the baby and she seems to be excited. So hopefully things will go well.

I think sometimes the personality of the child determines the degree of difficulty in adjustment. If you have a laid back/sleep all night, wonder nurser, then it's easy. If your new baby is a cartwheels in the crib/never sleep kind of baby, then, yep, it will be more difficult. For us, one to two was fine and two to three was fine. (By fine, I mean, of course there is some adjustment, but not a huge deal.) Four and five posed a little more challenge.

Bottom line:

http://cyberhymnal.org/htm/h/g/hgmgrace.htm


He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength as our labors increase;
To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials he multiplies peace.

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father’s full giving is only begun.

His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.

I only have one kid, but lol at the Motherhood has never been very challenging option. Ha ha! [halo]

I unfortunately wasn't anxious enough about preparing myself before number 1

Be anxious for nothing (Philippians 4:6). [lovesmile] Just ask the Lord to prepare you, and then trust Him to guide you. I truly believe He will always direct our path, but it's 'how' we choose to travel that determines how confident and secure we feel in the Lord while we walk with Him. In other words, trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and put your mind on the good things of Him. This will bring you peace. [heartbeat]

[loveflag]

Joy [welcomewave]

Be anxious for nothing (Philippians 4:6). [lovesmile] Just ask the Lord to prepare you, and then trust Him to guide you. I truly believe He will always direct our path, but it's 'how' we choose to travel that determines how confident and secure we feel in the Lord while we walk with Him. In other words, trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and put your mind on the good things of Him. This will bring you peace. [heartbeat]

[loveflag]

Joy [welcomewave]

I know, I'm definitely going to have to brush up on that verse and read it daily as a reminder. Thank you, sweet Joy, for reminding me of that.

I was definitely anxious about the transition to motherhood with my first--maybe I should have stated it that I wished that I put my anxiety to better use in means of preparation for the overwhelming changes that I would go through. So I guess that I worded that a bit clumsily.

I only have one kid, but lol at the Motherhood has never been very challenging option. Ha ha! [halo]

Yeah, I noticed that nobody picked that one! hehe. I put it there because I figured that for some rare moms they might honestly feel that none of the transitions were very hard.

Another thing I'm sure you've considered, Ruth; your next baby could be a total walk in the park. heehee! :lol: My first, Scotty, cried just about every moment his eyes were open for the first four or five months. It was really hard. So, for my next, I was really bracing myself to be super busy and taxed to the max. Carissa literally just sat there and smiled (she smiled from day one). She only whimpered a little when she wanted to eat, and that was it. Totally quiet and seemed to need for nothing! It could happen to you! :-P I was so, so happy I didn't start out with her and think that's how all babies are, and then have Scotty. I'd have been so caught off guard! :o


[lovesign]

Joy [welcomewave]

Another thing I'm sure you've considered, Ruth; your next baby could be a total walk in the park. heehee! :lol: My first, Scotty, cried just about every moment his eyes were open for the first four or five months. It was really hard. So, for my next, I was really bracing myself to be super busy and taxed to the max. Carissa literally just sat there and smiled (she smiled from day one). She only whimpered a little when she wanted to eat, and that was it. Totally quiet and seemed to need for nothing! It could happen to you! :-P I was so, so happy I didn't start out with her and think that's how all babies are, and then have Scotty. I'd have been so caught off guard! :o


[lovesign]

Joy [welcomewave]

Aww, Joy, thank you for sharing that. Where can I order that model? :D I love Hannah to pieces, but she fit more into the Scotty model than the Carissa model, lol.

You will be fine! That verse JoyLynn posted is perfect. You already know what baby essentials you need and which you can live without since you have experience in that dept, and I agree with EvaS and Ashlee - if your big girl is prepared to be mommy's helper it makes the transition SO much better.

I actually found going from 1-2 easier than going from 0-1 because I already knew the basics. I think being pg with #2 while dealing with #1 was actually harder than just having the 2 of them on the outside, lol. Praying your nerves will subside and you will feel peace about it as the Lord guides you thru it!

You will be fine! That verse JoyLynn posted is perfect. You already know what baby essentials you need and which you can live without since you have experience in that dept, and I agree with EvaS and Ashlee - if your big girl is prepared to be mommy's helper it makes the transition SO much better.

I actually found going from 1-2 easier than going from 0-1 because I already knew the basics. I think being pg with #2 while dealing with #1 was actually harder than just having the 2 of them on the outside, lol. Praying your nerves will subside and you will feel peace about it as the Lord guides you thru it!

Thanks Christine! By the way, I LOVE your new avatar pic!

Thanks Christine! By the way, I LOVE your new avatar pic!

Thanks! I realized that none of you had actually "seen" me before so I made a new one.

I was so, so happy I didn't start out with her and think that's how all babies are, and then have Scotty. I'd have been so caught off guard! :o


[lovesign]

Joy [welcomewave]


That's exactly what happened to me....lol. Abby was my perfect laid back baby, she slept through the night from 5 wks old, she would just sit there and smile. Micah was just like Scotty, he would cry all the time unless being held. He was a horrible sleeper, and still doesn't sleep through the night. Praise the Lord for baby carriers and cosleeping and breastfeeding, without those things I would've pulled my hair out.

I didn't vote but I found that each of my children had their own unique challenges. I did find it a bit easier going from 1-2 but that was because I already had somewhat of an idea of what I was doing. You will do fine. God is in control and He will help you through all things. It will take some time to adjust but like all things you will get through this. Praying for you hon.

((Hugs)) Ruth. I voted 1 to 2, but I think it has a lot to do with spacing between babies, their personality, and where you are at with other parts of your life.

As you've shared your heart here I feel that I've come to know you a bit. I think that you are a terrific mom to Hanah and that you are going to be an equally terrific mom to your new blessing.

I'm a preparer who's prone to worrying too. The best preparation for this really is just prayer. Find some comforting scriptures (saw some good ones suggested above) and tuck them into your heart, trust that the Lord will give you all that you need as you begin this new journey.

If I recall you've got some great physical and helps ready to go and we'll sure be praying for you in the days, weeks, and months ahead.

((Hugs)) Ruth. I voted 1 to 2, but I think it has a lot to do with spacing between babies, their personality, and where you are at with other parts of your life.

As you've shared your heart here I feel that I've come to know you a bit. I think that you are a terrific mom to Hanah and that you are going to be an equally terrific mom to your new blessing.

I'm a preparer who's prone to worrying too. The best preparation for this really is just prayer. Find some comforting scriptures (saw some good ones suggested above) and tuck them into your heart, trust that the Lord will give you all that you need as you begin this new journey.

If I recall you've got some great physical and helps ready to go and we'll sure be praying for you in the days, weeks, and months ahead.

Thank you so much! I covet all the prayers that I can get. I realize that now that I've got most of the physical preparation in place, I need to focus on mental and spiritual preparation. I really need to take some extra time with the Lord, memorize and post scriptures around the house, and trust in the fact that He will help us through this transition.

I honestly found going from 0-1 the hardest. Baby #2 was easier in some ways and harder in ways, but nothing compares to that lack of sleep thing at the beginning. I was quite sure I was going to die. :-D Of course I did not, and it was so much easier adjusting to the lack of sleep the next times, plus you have all that mommy knowledge in your pocket from your first. Babies are alot of work, but oh so precious. Try to relax and enjoy. I hope it goes well for you.

I voted other, I did find going from one to two children quite an adjustment but my reasons were due to the fact that at the time I was having concerns over oldest ds's devlopment, it was difficult as he was 2 yrs 8 mths and did not show any interest in baby and was not really a helper either. I was so focused on him at times, I honestly can't remember a lot of M's baby months! I know my situation was a little different. Anyway we made it through and survived and I know you will too!