I don't want to debate about spanking here.. thats for the contraversy forum! I was just curious for those who spank how early you started. I think dd was about 18 months when she got her first spanking. I could be wrong though, I really can't remember for sure.

I would gently swat bottoms or smack a hand as needed around 12 months. I would say the true spanking didn't come till later around 20 months. Can't be sure. Too many children...too long ago! But I know that there were swats and hand smacks before 18 months! :D

I went ahead with 'under 1 yr'
Mine will get swats and hand smacks as soon as they are reaching for inappropriate things, be that 4 months or 10. And once mobile, they generally move into the bottom swats.
But spanking...as in the spanking sessions we have, that's probably closer to 2... 18 mo. - 2 yr I guess.

Like Leslie said...too many kids..although, not 'too' long ago for me...I just plead mommy brain LOL :roll:

I spank only as a last resort and it is nothing severe but lets them know mommy means business. It angers and saddens me when people spank beyond what is necessary. I have issues with spanking while I am angry...I won't do it.....When I was 6 my parents were still married and my mom was at home with my sis and I my dad is a cop and was home for dinner in my room there was a little half bath off to the side well I wanted to see outside the window so I climbed onto the sink....it was just the basin there was no cabinet or anything....and well it was old even though I was a little thing the sink broke off from the wall and flooded the bath and my room....which was hard wood My dad took his belt and not spanked but beat me so hard that he left bruises on my legs....my mother God Bless Her did what she could to stop it but afterwards told him that if he ever laid another hand on us kids she would make sure no one ever found his body....not that my mom would really hurt anyone but we are her babies.... it was shortly after that my dad walked out on us for his new gf my parents had been having problems though. So that is why I have a issue with spanking I will never do it in anger and it is always on the bottom and never but one swat maybe...nothing severe at all and like I said it lets them know that mommy means business.... Sorry so long but thank you for letting me share

I agree that spanking should never be done in anger.
That is why we have what I call 'spanking sessions' Not a session in which the child gets the snot beat out of him. But a session in which we discuss the offense and that they realize, now comes a spanking, a predetermined number for said offense. They know ahead of time how many they get. The only time that changes is if they resist. Each time they are told to assume the position, they get an extra. After which we talk again, making sure all is well with us, hugs and kisses and forgiveness. :)

It is used as training here. The rules are laid out. If the rules are broken, first offense is a reminder of the rule. Thereafter, X swats across the bottom.

And we do *not* use our hands. I'm of the belief that the hands should show the love and comfort, we use a 'rod' for discipline.

But.........

Enough.

This thread was a simple poll. Let's not go any further into our reasons for or against here. :)

We did a light hand swat while babies were still quite young. Not enough to hurt, just to get their attention when 'no' wasn't working. By the time our last (Chloe) was crawling she'd crawl past our coffee table shaking her head and saying "'no, no, no." It was really cute. When Scotty wasn't quite walking yet, he'd crawl to the coffee table where we kept a stocked candy dish, pull himself up to standing and rock back and forth saying, "No-no, Cotty. No-no, Cotty." Just loved those days. [lovesmile]

Joy [welcomewave]

But.........

Enough.

This thread was a simple poll. Let's not go any further into our reasons for or against here.

Yes.. please lets keep it simple and not get into debate. Thanks in advance everyone! :D

A little over two, and very rarely. I have never left a mark on her or anything like that, it really was nothing more but a swat on the bottom. It only hurt her feelings, not her rear end.

When she was a baby (maybe around 1 ? ) if she did something like try to touch a light socket or something dangerous, I would do a light swat on the hand and say no. She probably didn't even feel it, but she got the picture.

I think you have to find what works best with each kid. With her, it was taking favorite toys and doing it in such a way that she could think about her behavior and why it was wrong. I made her get the toy herself, put it in a box herself, and then I put it where she could still see it but knew she couldn't have it because of her behavior. It worked quite well.

The main thing is that we discipline them consistently and teach them lessons about why they can't do certain things.

LOL Joy...we're having those days now with Gabriel. He rocks and then sits back, shakes his head 'no no no' Then grins. And often starts to go over the 'no no' again, but hey, he's in training right now..9 months, he's only just begun ;) hehe

Reminds me of the time #2 got on the coffee table. The only child I've ever had to climb anything..and this was it..anywho..
Barely walking, about 10-12 months old, went straight to climbing and running. For some reason, the child just LOVED to get on the coffee table, a very low one mind you, stand up and dance. He was told not to and would get a swat for it. But it took a little while for this to all sink in. Anyway, one time he had gotten up there as I was in another room putting away clothes or something. I come back to the living room to see him dancing on my table. He caught my glance which was returned with the 'ut oh' look on his face. I think that was the last time he danced on that table ;)

We started spanking DD around 8 or 9 months. We usually start with hand spanks, and if she continues, she gets bottom spanks. If something has been an issue for a while, and she knows she's not suppose to do something, she gets a bottom spank first and only. Sadly, our children are born sinners, and that sinful nature pops out pretty darn early, so we need to be on top of it so we can lead them to a life glorifying the Lord. That's why we started when we did, we saw her open defiant sinful nature at work, and so we started with the discipline to combat that! :-D

How funny Tara about the Dancing on the table.....so cute when babies dance!!

I started spanking my daughters for certain "serious" offenses when they were about 18 months. (Such as running away from me, or actions that would harm them, or repeated bad behavior that I had already said "no" to.) The really cool thing is that after spanking consistantly for a few years, we were able to stop when they were both around 5 1/2 to 6. I didn't plan on stopping at this age, I just had the realization that "hey, I haven't had to spank in a long time" They are both extremely well behaved now at 7 and 10. I don't spank anymore now that they are this age. We rarely have to discipline, but now I just take away privileges. Making them go to bed 30 minutes early, taking away a treasured "toy" such as MP3 or Gameboy, works great. We are able to talk and reason more now. I never could reason with them before age 4 too well.

I ditto what Tara said, when they start doing stuff they shouldn't... when they know they shouldn't touch something and they do.

When she was a baby (maybe around 1 ? ) if she did something like try to touch a light socket or something dangerous, I would do a light swat on the hand and say no. She probably didn't even feel it, but she got the picture.

Same here. I think around 10 months was when she started doing it. She didn't start crawling until 9 months :shock: But when she started oh boy! LOL She was into everything.

Every child is different. I believe in spanking when they just don't get it sometimes. My oldest is over 2 and very spirited. We do timeouts, couch breaks, long talks, role playing and such. Sometimes these things don't get thru to him. We do have to teach our kids to find themselves--they don't know what anger is so we have to point it out when they are mad and redirect them so they are not having a tantrum: "You are feeling mad now because you can't have that toy? Let's go sit down and try to find another one."
My son will get a spanking when he hurts his little brother or does something that is VERY dangerous..for example running in a parking lot. Other than that we try alternative measures....in tears.....and grinding our teeth! :x

Yeah I put around 1 too and it wasn't true spanking, more hand spanking if they touched something persistently etc.

It must NEVER be done in anger - I so agree.

Our pattern is to send the child to their room first, if it's been terrible enough to cause anger with us, we leave them there in their room for a time, cool down - approach them - explain the crime and why it is wrong - then spank.

THey spend a little more time in the room - then they either come out or we go in, re-iterate why the punishment happened, ask for an apology - cuddle and kiss and then assure them the matter is over with and they may join the family again and no reference is ever made to the issue again (unless the particular offense is repeated)

I agree with Tara, although I found that when reaching for something, a flitz on the hand works great, because it's just a quick sting, but a definite reminder. I started doing that probably around 6 months or so, but no "spanking sessions" until probably 18-24 months. I disagree though on not using the hand. My dad would use a belt on me, and usually was slightly out of anger (I wouldn't really say I was abused, but let's just say I don't have a good relationship with him to this day). Mom would use her hand, and always hold me & say she loved me afterward - I love & respect my mom!!! So I guess I'm patterning after her, since it seemed to work. But by the time they are old enough to know a little better (2-3), I would give one reminder & if they don't follow that, then it's either time out or a spanking, depending a little on the circumstances.

We started swatting with the hand at about 12 mo with my dd. She was running at 9 mo, very active and we used spanking only with life threatening situations. Like she thought it was fun to stick her fingers and other things into the electrical sockets. Yes she pulled out the plugs that aresupposed to stop kids from doing this. Anyway, she liked running across the street at this age also. We definitely talked about why she shouldn't be doing what she had done and hugged her afterward to reassure her we weren't mad at her, just couldn't tolerate that particular behavior. We figured swatting should be reserved for when we couldn't afford to have a repeat of the behavior. Playing with candles was one of the first behaviors the boys were swatted for , though at about 3 yrs. Don't know if anyone else has experienced this, but with our last ds we found raising our voice was enough to make him feel disciplined and swatting him was not likely to get any better result for most (nondangerous) inappropriate behaviors. Removing favorite toys/activities/time with others has always been the most effective discipline tool that still works fairly well for even teens. I don't know how parents handle teens if they have used spanking as the major discipline tool up to then...?

Sorry to go off on a tangent but what a beautiful daughter!

[quote="buttercup_97140"]

I never spanked my children under the age of three. I simply diverted their attention to other things because spanking was a little too overwhelming for toddlers. However, between three and six they have short attention spans and to get immediate attention and in dangerous situations where they try defiance, sometimes a swat on the fanny was an attention getter.

I try to avoid spanking as an incentive for good behavior now. Since the children are past 6 years, there are priveledges and other things to motivate better behavior. I also look into why the behavior is starting and try to prevent situations that invite a bad behavior pattern.

we started with the hand around 9 months(?), bottom between 18-24 months(?) and with loving hugs and kiss and "you know I love you" and explanation as to why when she was younger though, now she knows why she's getting the spanking so, I don't explain unless I feel like there may be some confusion. . .at one point recently we had a day of massive spankings to curb a little "screaming at mommy" problem. Toward the end of the day I was lightly rubbing her soar little hiney after ward to help it feel better as it was beginning to shine=) I would rob and tell her I was rubbing the magic hiney, which was making her giggle. Later on some time after halloween we were doing "school" work at her table and she began to tell me a matter-of-fact story about her "magic Hiney". Every halloween her magic hiney jumps on a broom and passes out presents to all the people of the world :lol:. . . what a nice little hiney.

Another spanking funny story- about a year ago we were headed to the movie store one night and she started talking about Jonah- at the time she was WAY into Jonah everything. . .movies, books- whatever. She said that the whale was chewing on Jonah. I told her, not chewing but, he just swallowed jonah. I told her how it was God's punishment to jonah for disobeying like she gets spanked for disobeying me. I said that she gets spanked and Jonah got swallowed by the whale. She said that was because Jonah had no butt :lol: :lol: :lol: I just about died laughing- kids say the cutest things. If you're gonna follow that line of thinking, it's a pretty good thing we all have butts :wink:

DD started getting "the ruler" around 11 mnths when she started walking. She mainly is a picker upper and get into-er. So she is a hands on baby. If it was something that could harm her and such...we gave her a small...not even enough to sting...tap on the hand with a ruler and told her "no-no". Of course before this we would give her a verbal warning. Now all I have to do is say her full name and say "no no" in a stern voice and she stops whatever she is doing. There usually is a fit that follows of stomping and crying...but, she has learned what no means....and does walk away. Now if she ever gets a spanking...it's just with a ruler and a tap or two on the diaper. It doesn't even hurt her...just her feelings. We try to teach her that our hands are for love (so we won't use our bare hands to spank) and we back it up with positive love and tell her why we did it and plenty of hugs...I agree with all...never punish with anger.
**No harm meant to others way of parenting...just what we do...hope no offense is taken**

I have found that the younger you start the less you have to do as they get older. I started with the little smack on the hand when they were young. It was very effective. Now my girls are older we have to use things like taking things from them and grounding them. Most of my kids are bigger then me so spanking now wouldn't work.

i started at about 9 months with a little tap on the hand.