Ok, here is the deal. Micah is almost 15 months and still breastfeeds quite a bit. He doesn't feed during the day and doesn't ask for it. He just gets fed to sleep for naps (unless we are out in the car), and he feeds quite a bit through the night, like 4-6x. We are still co-sleeping and poor dh has been kicked out of the bed for a while now bcuz there just isn't room for the 3 of us. But I'm feeling super ready to have Micah out of my bed (and to have hubby back in it) cuz he kicks my ribs to bits. I'm feeling pretty much done with breastfeeding but don't know how to get him weaned. Abby just weaned herself at 1yr old. I think I would feel alot better about things if Micah was sleeping through the night but he still wakes up ALOT! Even if I could get him to cut down to 2 feeds a day then I think I would feel alright. Don't get me wrong, I'm not on the verge of losing it or anything, I'm just feeling that I'm just about done if that makes sense. Can anyone offer any advice on how to get him to wean/STTN so that I can move him into his own bed and we all can sleep a bit better. We have tried hubby sleeping next to him and it worked great for about half the night and then Micah woke up crying and wanting fed. Anyway, help! Ruth, I know you could offer some advice here as I think you went through a similar thing with Hannah. Thanks everyone!

ETA: Just wanted to clarify that I didn't kick DH out of the bed it was his choice and decision. Just wanted to point that out before I got tomatoes thrown at me for not being the perfect wife :)

Hmmm, I probably am not the best source of advice as I wasn't successful in bf'ing past about 7 mos with ds, but I wonder if it would help to offer more solid foods before bedtime, and possible some pumped milk in the night, if he is needing the nutrition? I have heard that bf babies are sometimes looking for comfort more so than food in the middle of the night around that age, so would he maybe take a pacifier for comfort? Hoping one of the bf'ers here will jump in and offer more solid advice :)

Try nursing Micah to sleep then putting him to bed elsewhere. Often times they will sleep well like that, sleeping longer stretches when NOT near you, as they get older like this. You could try to coax him back to sleep the first time he wakes by just letting him fuss a bit, see if he goes back to sleep...or/then going in to check on him, tell him it's ok, time to go back to sleep, and leave the room.

That may be all it takes to stretch out those night feedings/begin the weaning process. It's the smelling of mom all night that makes them want to nurse all night. That's how it works here anyway :p

Also, around here, once baby starts kicking us around, hogging the bed and all..it's time to try something else. If we all aren't sleeping well, then something's gotta change. That meant Eldest was in his own bed at 6 months. He would sleep til about 2am once we started that, then he'd nurse another time or two before morning. Much better than every 1.5 - 2 hr :D

I tend to think that as long as Micah sleeps in your bed, he won't wean. I would think that you being so close and convenient all night would prolong the weaning process, you know?

If your hub is willing, perhaps he could be the one to check on him if he fusses during the night to alleviate reminding Micah of that nursing mom smell.

Hmmm...no help on weaning here as Hannah is still nursing plenty at 27+ months old, lol.

As far as transitioning to his own bed, SLOWLY is the key. Don't expect him to magically sleep all night in his own bed the first night that you put him there. Get him a bed (if he doesn't already have one) and work into it gradually. Try putting him there for the first part of the night, and then when he wakes up, bringing him to your bed. Try offering him water, a snack (yes a snack, I did that in the middle of the night when I was trying to night-wean Hannah), cuddles, whatever. If needed, and if DH can spare the sleep, try having him wake and rock Micah when he wakes up at night. Getting Daddy involved has been really helpful for us.

But remember, Micah's been snuggled next to you for the past 15 months enjoying an all night milk bar. He's not going to magically want to stop that, nor will it be an instant thing. (Unless you go through lots of tears and frustration) So, patient, gentle, gradual. Give yourself a few months to get him weaned and sleeping in his own bed. Seriously. I caused a lot of unnecessary unhappiness in Hannah by expecting her to progress too fast.

The No Cry Sleep Solution has some great ideas too. Do you have that book?

Just curious, but do you think you want to quit breastfeeding completely, or do you think you'd want to continue longer if he wasn't nursing all night anymore?

Anyway we do self weaning, so I'm not sure if my answer will be helpful, but we did night wean with George, so maybe it will. FME with my boys, I found that when I decided to start night weaning, it was easiest for me to do that in a few different steps.

#1. I would start practicing and have dh help me start getting ds to sleep without nursing once in awhile. We enacted consistent bedtime routines and continued them for a length of time so that lo knew what to expect after bath, and stories and prayers IYKWIM. I never stopped nursing to sleep for naps, just started working on other ways to get lo to sleep at night.

#2. Once lo knew how to fall asleep once in awhile without nursing and had a consistent bedtime routine, then I would choose a night to start nightweaning and the first time lo woke in the night, I'd tell him, "It's night time sweetie. The nanas are asleep. You need to sleep too." or something like that, and we'd help him get back to sleep without nursing. Just for that first waking though. Once he fell asleep and woke again, I'd nurse him just like normal.

#3. After several days of that, and after he had acclimated to falling asleep without the breast for the first session, I'd gently drop the 2nd night waking. It took a little while, but once he could fall asleep without the 2nd session, I was able to just gently remind him that the nanas were asleep and that he needed to go back to sleep whenever he woke. It was easier for us to comfort him back to sleep and actually get some rest when he was in bed with us.

After George was nightweaned, we moved him to a mattress on the floor of our room. He hated the crib, so we always just kept our room childproofed and gated the doorway. George was probably 14-15 mos. when we did this, so he probably stayed in our room until he was over 2 and then we just moved his bed to his own room.

We did similar things with Fred, though chose not to nightwean Fred and I let him do that on his own. I did set limits though, and used that nightweaning process to teach him how to fall asleep without nursing, so I could get him to only nurse once or twice a night instead of all the time IYKWIM. He naturally started to drop the once or twice a night nursings on his own. Fred sleeps in his own bed next to my side of our bed. He's 2, but we haven't moved him into George's room yet because he doesn't have his last 4 molars yet, and because he can't be trusted yet :lol He's sneaky, and an acrobat, so it's actually safer to have him in our childproofed gated room until he has better self control. He's the kind of kid who will climb to the top of the highest furniture in a room and jump off just for fun...he cannot see how he could possibly get hurt doing that....it makes me all queazy just thinking about it...

Just curious, but do you think you want to quit breastfeeding completely, or do you think you'd want to continue longer if he wasn't nursing all night anymore?



I think if he completely night-weaned then I would be ok to continue to breastfeed him as he would only feed when he goes down for a nap. currently I am babywearing him to sleep at night which works as he falls asleep right away. I then go lay him down in my bed and leave the room. I would say he has a good 4 hours of being in the bed on his own before I get in bed to sleep. In that 4 hours he will wake maybe 2-3x. I have tried the night-weaning thing and it worked but then I caved in cuz he had a cold. So I think I just need to suck up the courage and do it again. And try what Madre said and get dh to go and pat his back when he wakes up. My mom is coming next week for Christmas, so currently we are all sleeping in mine and dh's room, so I will have to leave the night weaning until she is gone bcuz I don't want to disturb Abby's sleep. I think we just need to bite the bullet and do it. Will need lots of prayer....lol.

I think if he completely night-weaned then I would be ok to continue to breastfeed him as he would only feed when he goes down for a nap. currently I am babywearing him to sleep at night which works as he falls asleep right away. I then go lay him down in my bed and leave the room. I would say he has a good 4 hours of being in the bed on his own before I get in bed to sleep. In that 4 hours he will wake maybe 2-3x. I have tried the night-weaning thing and it worked but then I caved in cuz he had a cold. So I think I just need to suck up the courage and do it again. And try what Madre said and get dh to go and pat his back when he wakes up. My mom is coming next week for Christmas, so currently we are all sleeping in mine and dh's room, so I will have to leave the night weaning until she is gone bcuz I don't want to disturb Abby's sleep. I think we just need to bite the bullet and do it. Will need lots of prayer....lol.
I don't like to call it caving though, because I really think it's one of the best gifts that God blesses us moms with...the ability to soothe our babies in such a comforting way. It's really beautiful how easily nursing will comfort an upset or sick or hurt little one.

When I nightweaned my oldest, I comforted him other ways through all of those things, and I really wished I'd just caved and nursed him through all those troubles instead, looking back that is. We all would've gotten alot more sleep through the teething and bad dreams. I've found with my youngest, that it's really nice to be able to let him night nurse when he's not feeling well, and it just takes a few days of gentle consistency to get him back on track after that. Granted not all kids would make that transition easily, but Fred got used to it and really learned to gracefully accept it when I told him that the nanas were sleeping. It took time though.

When I was trying to wean Bobert at night, I made sure to keep well covered to make it hard for him to get access. That helped some. Then I had dh start moving him into his own bed. Even if he ended up back with me, it help a lot because I think I wasn't right there and he wasn't smelling me.
Another thing I did was to put scented lotion on the surrounding areas (of course not where the milkies come out) and that different smell also helped distract him.

Yeah, BTDT. Finally got him weaned about 19 months.

you say he is only BF to get to sleep?
he needs SOMETHING else to get to sleep then. a blanket, lovey, etc. I agree he needs to be out of your bed, esp if you want to wean. He wants it cause it's always been there & is expected.
I would start w/ naps & be firm(but gentle:) ) It may go better than you think...it may not.....but you will get trough it.
Try to make it a POSITIVE as posible :) you know what he likes & what may work, you just need to think about. have faith in yourself & your child. it will work out:mrgreen: