I was just reading Renee's thread about kids teasing each other and there was some conversation about teaching kids how to react appropriately. So as kind of a spinoff from that conversation, how do you teach a 2 year old (who is a drama queen) self control in her reactions to life? Dd is starting to drive me crazy....she screams and cries and has fits over the smallest things. Everything from her brother bugging her to being told to take turns to accidentally dropping something on the floor while she is eating at the table. We have tried many things...talking about it and letting her know her reactions are inappropriate, counting to 3, time out, loss of priveledges (sp?? lol) Is it just that she is too young to get it? Ds was never like this - ever.

I don't have a whole bunch of advice, but wanted to say that I have seen a good deal of this type of behavior in my almost 3yo dd lately. I calmly tell her that her tone of voice is not going to get anything from me, and then I stick with it. She really escalated for about 10 mins, okay maybe five but it felt like ten today because I told her she could not have a toy that was in my bedroom. After I have stated my position, I just ignore the tantrum, and eventually she comes around. I have a couple of times told her that she will need to go to her room, away from me, with her screaming/whining/carrying on, then put her in her room and within a minute or two she comes out and says she is done crying. I do not pick things up that sghe drops, or get her a drink or do anything until she at least tries to calm herself and "use her big girl voice" I don't think 2 1/2-3 is too young to get it, but if you give them an inch, even just to stop it, boy they do take a mile!! After the episode today, after lunch and nap, she came to me and told me she was sorry for crying and screaming at me. It was sweet and when she started again, because she dropped a playdoh tool, I reminded her that she was sorry earlier and could speak to me properly.... Don't know if any of that is helpful, but I do feel your pain :)

We just had a 'talk' with Grayce ( who is almost 4) about the same thing. She screams loudly at everything, from the littlest thing to major screams we explained that different situations can have different screams. like for instance, knocking over your blocks, can be a quiet "oh no!!" or ' that's no good" to the when you see a bear you scream like this and let her scream. she thought that it was funny. It seemed like when we gave her more options of what to say, then she was not wailing loudly at the smalles thing . Now after having the 'talk' you can see her start to get wound up and then she says, I won't scream like I saw a bear momma" we also explained about what would happen if she was screaming inapproriately, she has to go to her room (which she doesn't like)

The "when you see a bear you scream like this" made me laugh, but it might just be worth a try. I think this is one of those things that we will likely be working on with her for a long while...

Oy....those girlies LMHO

Yeah we've had the same kind of stuff with ours. She doesn't so much scream at everything, but breaks down..just SOBS over every.little.thing.

We just tell her she's overreacting and needs to settle down. Get a gripe, girlfriend! We send her to her room to settle down. Whenever she can act more appropriate and speak to us without whining or wailing, she may come out and do so. But we will not listen to her otherwise and she will never get what she wants with that behavior.

It just takes time...and consistency, of course.

Just keep telling her she's overreacting, using your calm, even tone. "I understand that upsets you sweetie but you are acting crazy. You need to settle down then we can talk about it and fix it. But I can't understand or help you until you relax and behave."

And giving examples of when the 'off the hook' scream is acceptable is a great idea! :) A bear :giggle: really good :snort: So, yeah, if a bear is coming after you, scream like this...if a stranger poses a threat, scream like this...if a sibling is running toward a busy road, scream like this...but if brother takes your toy, or you can't make something work properly..you simply come get mom nicely ;)

They *do* outgrow it..a bit..sort of...slowly LMHO

My almost 5 yr old is better...much better..though, she's still a 'cry at the drop of a hat' kid, but then again, so was I. So, I can't expect much more than that out of her can I?

what about those little boys that are drama queens, also? I feel uncomfortable calling him a drama king, makes me think of a "drag queen" for some reason !??! But Patrick is so dramatic about EVERYTHING.

If he were a girl, he'd definately be a drama queen, LOL

LOL Kana...I have one (or two or...) of those as well ;)
And I TOTALLY hear ya...drama king...it does bring to mind drag queen hahaha So, whatever it 'is', I have it too :p
Anywho, we stick with drama king when we must label it ... I think it kind of helps our situation having the girl drama queen ... when we call a boy a drama KING, he gets kind of embarrassed because it is so close to 'girly'

We also call him (them) Mr. Dramatic.

My girl is soooo much worse though, and holding onto it longer.
Maybe 5 will be the 'magic number' :p (until puberty LOL)

Thanks for your input, Tara. I had a bad feeling this was a "girl" thing and that we'll just have to keep working on it. as much as it drives *me* crazy, dh practically loses it himself when she does it. (Have any strategies for increasing dh's ability to cope with it? lol)

Hey Kim, well I think this is a struggle for many moms, hugs. It is for me many days too. Its being consistent, and even than sometimes I may have a headache, every child needing something at once and I slip and don't nip it in the butt by placing her in her bed. I think all my kids to one extent or another have their dramatic moments. Oldest is a teen, middle is just a high maintence child, they all have their not so perfect, angelic like moments.

Its figuring out that child's personality and learning how to parent it. Some yes are easier to parent than others. I go to bed many nights just feel drained with having to be so consistent. Somedays I go from child to child with one after the other with a behavior problem. And those hard times seem to out number the good but in reality they don't.

If I remember to look closely enough the good outweigh the bad times. The work is working, the children are flourishing and learning and loving. Training young ones is work, like Tara says "parenting isn't for whimps" and I agree.

Though sometimes out of the blue something comes into play that helps send my parenting message home. Like today long story short an employee accidently hit 911 trying to delete his messages, well in drives a state cop to find this employee and personally check it was a misunderstanding with his cell phone. Well hubby and these empolyees left for a job and I was here with the kids, things all arye but the kids saw the police officer, know we need to act appropriately for many, many reasons, an unexpected visit from a police officer can be one reason, pleasing God another but God isn't always present for them either as many other examples are though I hope they understand why we must act like a Christian all the time but you get what I'm saying.

Well I see by my timer my time is up, need to get back to schooling the children. Oh we do great with timers but 2 is probably too young for a timer I'm thinking.

So this novel above can be for 2 or 16 I guess, my parenting range a bit. Sorry for the rambling.

kim...um, perhaps remind him that he too is overreacting? ;)

Oh the hubby part, nope. I just tell my hubs not to worry I'll handle it, the kids grow out of it, that my hubby knows that they do he has seen it in the other kids. Its just different ages different stages type thing.

My hubs is the giving in type and I am the strict one but we find a good balance with discipline most of the time. Its just the shrieking my hubby can't and couldn't handle.

kim...um, perhaps remind him that he too is overreacting? ;)

lol...yeah, I do. I actually told him the other day that she gets her dramatic ways from him (at least in part! lol) He didn't really argue with me. ;)


And Renee....yes, its definitely the shrieking he can't handle. I just keep reminding him she is a girl, and girls are just different.