Ok sorry if this has already been asked but has anyone ever heard of the Accountable Kids program? I have been looking into it and thought that it looked like a really good program but I value the feedback I get from other moms who have tried it. I posted the link for anyone who wants to look at it.

http://accountablekids.com/default.aspx

I have never used that program, but I do hold my son accountable for five responsibilites every day in order to earn his evening privilege, such as watching a movie or playing a computer game. His current responsibilites have mor eto do with behavior than charts, but I have done chore charts and such before too. MHO is that there isn't really a need to buy anything in particular to establish expectations or responsibilities, chores and the like, but if you or your child is real visual I can see where something like this might work well.

I am interested in doing something like this to curb some bad behavior that has been going on. Aidan is a very strong willed child and hasn't responded at all to spankings or time outs. She just doesn't care. David and I have noticed that she will respond better to positive discipline instead. By this I mean taking toys or tv privileges away. I think having something visual will help her out because she is so busy that if she doesn't see it she won't focus on it. I was thinking of taking something like this and seeing if it doesn't curb her negative behavior.

I am also wondering if I need to structure her day more. Kind of set up my house like it's a preschool. Have a time for crafts or outside play, etc. Has anyone had any success at all by doing this? When I say she is strong willed I mean very strong willed. During the half part of her year (now~she is 3.5) it is even worse. This kid can destroy my entire house in a matter of seconds. [flagsurrender] [whatwacko]

I have always spent my time at home in a way that is similar to preschool, and I know for my kids, especially ds it helps a lot to keep him busy and structured. Even with play, I set them up, demonstrate the proper way to play, and then go on about my housework or whatever. I think some kids need the structure more than others. My dd is content to just wander about with her baby in a stroller, use her kitchen, etc., but ds is a different story! I have also taught both of them since reall early on to choose one thing at a time to play with. i keep everything organized and in storage containers, and put away, and let them choose one thing to play with, then clean it up, then choose another. I had gotten away from thi s abit since moving, but am getting it back to the way I like it to be- calm and peaceful. My kids love arts and crafts and sensory stuff like play-doh and floam and will sit for long periods of time with just a bit of instruction. I do think a schedule is a good idea, and it helps kids to feel secure and to know what is coming next. The structured days fly by compared to the free-for-alls that happen on occasion. And just one more suggestion is that it has helped my ds in different ways with different things over the years to not have privileges taken away, but for him to earn up to certain things. When he was about your dd's age, we had a little paper figure named "Mr. Behavior" with a paper set of "stairs" that he would move up and down according to his behavior and choices. Getting to the top caused a big celebration and praise form me as well as a treat, like and ice cream cone or a walk to the park or whatever. We also have a family contract, but I didn't start that until he was five. And one more thought, have you heard anything about code words? It is hard to explain for some reason but it is words or phrases that your children grow accustomed to. An example would be "Body Check" If a child is being wild, like jumping on the bed, it can be easier to say "body check" than to give the whole schpiel about "don't jump on the bed, I told you before that can be dangerous because you can fall off and bump your head and then we'll have to go to the ER...." you get the drift :) Ususally code words are used in way that directs the child to checking their own behavior, and stimulates their development of internal locus of control (self-control). Sorry I am rambling. These things are very much fresh on my brain as I just finished a job at a Childcare Center and will be doing in-home care now :)

HUGS!!

By all means please ramble away.:-D I need all the ideas and help I can get. We had a structured day at one time but through only my fault I let that go. Shame on me. I loved your ideas and I think that they will help. I just want peace in my house and as long as A continues to run wild it won't happen. Thanks for all the ideas. I really appreciate them.:-D

Thanks for this thread. It gave me some new ideas too. I especially love the "body check" code word.

I was looking for an article online about the ocde words, but can't find anything. Some others we used with the preschoolers and toddlers at work were "Ready Friends" Even the little ones ar etaught that to be ready menas to be sitting down, hands folded, with a "bubble" This looks kind of funny, you puff your cheeks out, like with air in them (like you wre making a "fat face" but don't ever say that, LOL) or even a zipper mouth, lips pushed together. We would use this when we were transitioning form one activity to another, and often at mealtimes- Lunchtime with 22 4 yo's who have to all potty and wash up first can be pretty hectic, so we would say 1,2,3 Ready Friends, and they would all sit this way until they were called. I use it at home because both my kids are familiar with what it means. I might say, I'll turn the movie on as soon as I see my ready kids, or that I will serve snack as soon as they are "ready." "Hands" is another one when a child is either being agressive with their hands or touching things they aren't supposed to. It take some explaining in the beginning, but then they get it, and even the littlest ones will stop and check their own hands. Where my ds is a bit older, we have a family contract and "Contract" has become a code word around here too. I really think if you keep kids busy and engaged, focused and interested in their toys, art, books, etc., it eliminates a lot of the "wild energy." Kids feel out of control when they don't know precisely what to be doing! And so they get out of control. I also have used little signs around the house. On the fish tank, I had traced my son's hand and drew a big circle with a line to mean no touching. On the fridge I have a stop sign, and a little text box like you would see in a cartoon that means, stop and ask. I don't believe in child-proofing, I believe in teching boundaries and limitations and it does work. I knwo we have talked about "Get Off Your Butt" Parenting before; I love that website, and some of the things there are really helpful! Glad I can be of help.