Cranky, strong willed little angel

[harmony5]

Well, Preston is finally going to give me a run for my money. My oldest two, who are now 11 and 9 were good toddlers other than the typical business and exploring. Preston is so different. I know they all are, but I'm just not sure what to do with him.

He is just very very determined to do what he wants to do. For instance, today, he was eating a snack. He decided he was done, so with one big swipe of the hand knocks all the goldfish off his tray onto the floor. I said to him in a very calm but firm voice, "No, you do not throw food." Imagine this, he did it AGAIN! So, again, I say the same thing to him but this time, I was holding his wrist. Not hard, but firm enough to where he couldn't do it again. So, as I was about to get him down because he was obviously finished, he did it yet AGAIN!! I picked him up, which then meant we were face to face and I pointed to the highchair and told him again he is not allowed to throw food.

Then I noticed he had a dirty diaper, so I take him to his room to change him. All the while, he is screaming...I guess because I told him not to do something like throw food. What a mean mom! He has been in a bad habit of literally arching his back to where you are struggling to change his diaper. With him still fighting me and screaming, I finally got the diaper on him, crooked! He had a meltdown when we came out of his room to go to the living room. My other kids were looking at me like I had come close to killing him or something and I was like....ummm....stop looking at me like that...I didn't do anything!!

The crazy thing is, all of this happened at home, thank God. This morning we went to the school to watch my daughter get some awards for grades, etc. He was fine for about, oh, 2.5 seconds!! Then he was just about hanging out of his stroller to get out. So, I took him out to keep the peace. NOT! He then wanted my camera, then he wanted to sit on the bleachers beside me, then he wanted to walk up and down the bleachers, then he wanted to walk around the area where we were sitting. Finally, I picked him up to bring him back to our seats and he went berzerk!! (Okay, so I don't know how to spell that! :wink: ) He started leaning back in my arms, if that makes any sense. Basically, I'm strying to hold him while he is hanging off my body. So, I'm like, okay, we will leave. I don't want to spoil this for the rest of the parents. So, then I'm pushing the stroller which by this time was occupied by the little girl I babysit and "carrying" him. Of course, the doors weren't opened, so I had to try to push them open while doing all this. I'm like...dying of embarrasement here. :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: I almost cried for real. And to beat it all, he didn't even stop crying until we got to the car. Yes, that means he cried all through the hallways interrupting all the classes.

Please keep in mind that I'm not expecting a 16 month old child to be perfectly calm and still. I know they are learning and exploring at this age and that is just fine. But that tantrum taking has gots to go!! How do I stop that. What is a good form of discipline at this age. I don't know if he would understand time out yet. I just don't know.

We don't have days like this very often at all. It just makes me wonder if it was because he was out of the norm or something?

I can't wait to hear all the advice I will be getting on how to fix my youngun!! Please help!!

Lori :D

[raisinberry]

I would think he is starting to test you already. Sorry! I don't have a lot of advice since I am in the thick of it as well. But I wanted to say hang in there and be consistent! Consistency seems to work best with my little one. And a making sure you have a strong will back. We had a over hour battle to have him pick up his boots and put them away at 18 months old. He knew perfectly well what I wanted, he just didn't want to do it! It was amazing that he was willing to fight about it for over an hour! Once that battle was done though, the next time we had a put away issue it only last half an hour. Now by today he just puts things away when asked. That first hour one was tough and I wanted to just give in and put them away, but it has paid off in the long run.

I would also recommend Dr. Dobson's Strong Willed Child. I have read it and although there is not as much in the trenches advice as I would like it does encourage you to continue on the right path. Something desperately needed for mom's of strong willed little ones.

[mom n luv]

I am in the trenches with you with a very strongwilled 15 month old. He has in the past gotten so upset that he hits his head on things or can flail about so much he risks injuring himself or others. I talked to the ped about this and she said that a) it is totally normal, which made me feel a little better and b) when he gets that way the best thing to do would be to eliminate the audience by placing him in the pack in play to let him calm down. We now do that, we give him his lovey and nothing else and he actually seems to calm down much more quickly than when we let him be upset on our laps or in the living area. As the weeks of doing this have progressed he has calmed down much more quickly, he seems to understand that is where he goes when he needs to calm down. That said I will be watching this thread for more ideas because there are not pack n plays at grocery stores, churches, or shopping malls, nor can I carry one around in my pocket :lol:

Honey... taint nothing unusual - my kids have been known to perform like this in the bank and in the supermarket (to me the bank is the WORST) place. People stare like it is your fault too.

I found with my son when he was having a melt down placing him in the cot with the door closed worked a treat.

A light smack on the hand never does any harm either.

Spare a thought, my twins are 3 now but imagine that happening to you x2 LOL.

They are very testy, they want to see what you will do and if you mean it.

If we are out at the shop or bank I pull either the pram or shopping trolley so I am leaning over it and into their faces, I hold an arm firmly and say "I will not tolerate this, you will not shout anymore..." if they have a favourite food they've been requesting it goes back - mine love to stop buy the donut shop, so if they are naughty in the shop I pre-warn there will be no donut - of course that is much harder with a younger child. It's a BIT easier when you have "currency"