Daughter is clinging to just one friend

[Tam]

My daughter is really shy and seems to cling to one friend. If her friend doesn't ride the school bus, my poor girl just about has a panic attack (we went thru that last year and she's been doing so much better -- PRAISE GOD!)

I've told her that she needs to branch out and make new friends, but they have assigned seats and she can't move around.

What advice can I offer her? I've told her to picture Jesus in the seat with her and I've reminded her to put her faith in Him and not this one friend, but she says she still gets really nervous.

She's doing great in school; straight A's and has friends at school. It's just that bus ride that gives her so much trouble. She gets nervous so easy when it involves riding for very long (it's about an hour bus ride)

Any advice or pointers? She's almost 12.

Thanks!

Tammy

[stephwhiz]

Tammy do you think someone may be picking on her on the bus? I thought that might be why she is afraid to be on there without her friend.

I've noticed at school that some kids are just loners or just have one friend. It's hard to get some kids to want to be friends with lots of people. I've never had that problem myself or with my kids, but I do know people that are that way.

Maybe you could get to know some of the parents who have kids her age and possibly set up some family outings so she could get to know these kids.

Best of luck!

Stephanie :D

[1blessed4life]

That was my 1st response - wondering if someone was mean to her on the bus before. You might see if the bus driver would allow her to change assigned seats. But then again if this 'bus friend' is a good influence - it might be better to just continue as you are encouraging her. And to stay 'looking busy' with books, or homework, ect. during the bus ride.
Our 14 yr old rides the bus, & I know that is the main place for our children to learn trash from this world. So it is important to keep an open line of communication going with our kids - so they can ask questions & we can share our values & faith for support and strength.

[Tam]

Thanks for the encouragement. I don't think there have been any mean kids picking on her. In fact, one little girl that I know is sweet and would be kind to her, she doesn't want to talk to because she doesn't know her as well. She may just be one of those loner types. It's hard for me to understand because I'm such a social person, but her Dad isn't.

I guess as long as she is doing well in school and has several friends there, that is the main thing.

Their seats on the bus are arranged by age; she's right behind the driver since she's a 6th grader, so that makes me feel good. I think the main problem is that she's depending too much on this friend and not enough on the Lord to be her confidence.

By the way, her friend is a wonderful influence and I'm glad they have each other. They go to church with us and she's a quiet little girl too.

Thanks again!

[imported_rachel]

There's a good book on the top-"The Hidden Gifts of the Introverted Child"