Ok... Natalia is one month old.... and I've been mainly dedicated to her... I know that's the way it will be and I enjoy it... but I want to know what you ladies do with your infants.... I feel guilty letting her cry ... I think that's what she has a mom for .... so I never let her cry... I feel guilty having her in her swing too much too... so I hold her very often.... then I put her on her belly or on her back but she gets bored very easily ... and of course I feel guilty again... I sing, I dance, I talk and I make all kind of weird noises for her.... of course I feed her and change her diapers too... and then there is no time left at all for me to clean the house... whenever I write here (which isn't often now) I am holding her too... while she sleeps during the day I take a shower... but then.... even when I am going to eat... is like if she could "sense" it and starts crying... she eats every 3 hours of course... those are the "shortest" 3 hours in my life! there is time for nothing... I try to do some laundry, sometimes cook something or bake, wash some dishes, make the bed and that's it..... is that ok?? What do you do with your babies? I don't want to have her in the same position all the time either.... I am always watching she is not hot or cold.

I could take some advice.. Am I doing something wrong? :neutral:

Thanks!

Paloma.

I don't think anybody on here really holds to that for infants under 6 months or slightly older.....when they're that little, answer their cries: wet/hungry/gas/need your presence/etc ;-)
We LOVED our boppy bouncy seat that vibrated and played music and had a toy bar....both boys sat in it next to me in all rooms, I just carted kid and seat to the room I needed to do chores in and talked to them as I went...if they could see me...they were pretty content. My oldest however, didn't care if he saw me....he WANTED HELD! So instead of the seat a lot of times, I wore him in my snuggli or sling! Did everything with him in it! They're held and happy and your hands are free and you're mobile!

You aren't doing ANYTHING wrong Paloma :mrgreen: The first 3 months of Payton's life I didn't get anything done. I just tended to him and before I knew it the day was gone and I have NO regrets about it either. :) It got easier for me when he was about 3-4 months and he could occupy himself for short periods of time. I would lay him on a blanket or in his swing and as long as he was content would go about my business, in short amounts of time. It gets easier, just remind yourself of how short this time really is and hug her, hold her and take it all in, I did and looking back I am so glad I just enjoyed it. Payton is only 8 months now and he's Mr. Independent crawling and moving about and occupying himself for bits at a time so I can get things done!

Big hug Mama, you are normal, lower your standards and enjoy that babe!

ETA: I didn't let Payton cry either, we tended to him whenever he got fussy and I think it helped him build trust in us knowing we were there, KWIM? He rarely fusses or cries now and I'm sure tending to his needs early on helped with this.

You are doing a GREAT job, Paloma!!!

Now that I have 2, I actually do let Shaelyn fuss a bit before getting to her. (Actually, now that I think about it, I did this with DS too...) I don't let her CRY - like tears, red face, etc - but I do let her fuss maybe a minute then I go get her. Sometimes during that minute, she finds something to turn her attention to until I get there. Sometimes not!

I'm glad you are giving Natalia tummy time - this is so important! Especially since most babies are put on their backs to sleep.

Just remember, you can't spoil an infant! (up to 6 months 'they' say)...all this depends on your parenting style too...but yeah, hold her!! You won't realize how much you enjoy this time until she wants to get down and crawl and not be held as much!! Hold her!!

Also, sounds like you need to get/make a ring sling or other such carrier! There are many posts on here about carriers. That way, she can be on you and you can be accomplishing a bit too!!

You're doing a great job - let your dh take care of her when he gets home. Or just ask him to. My dh doesn't always take the initiative to hold the baby, so I just ask and tell him I need a few moments without her. That may help too!

[loveyou]

Ditto!
You're not doing anything wrong. And don't feel guilty! It sounds like you are doing a good job of paying attention to her. Giving her various stimulation, without overwhelming.

I definitely agree with trying out a sling/carrier. I bet she'll snuggle right in there and go to sleep while you dust and vacuum :D

And yes, ASK hubby. Sometimes they just don't 'get' what all we do allllll day long and how taxing it can be. Though we love what we do, it IS still exhausting. And it's amazing what a few minutes break can make. Time enough to take a shower w/o worrying if the little one is going to wake up during that time. Time enough to bake cookies and not worry that she will decide to *need* you when your timer is 2 minutes from going off :p Or even a moment to sit with both hands on a book or the keyboard. :)

Hi hunny sending you some hugs you are normal and the advice you have been given here is top.

When Sinead was a baby I used to always hold and cuddle her, when I needed to get something done I would put her in her bouncy chair.

I also agree w/ the carrier/sling.
she gets what she wants & you get your hands back( for a little while)
Most of all don't worry. when you are older & Natalia is grown....you may regret not spending as much time w/ her as you could have because you were busy sweeping, mopping, dusting, etc.
BUT, I doubt you will regret not spending more time sweeping, mopping & dusting because you were bonding/loving, caring for your child that needs you.

Paloma, you are a great mom! Being there for your child is your number one job. And you are doing a great job at it. If you are feeling like you cannot get anything done, ITA a sling is a wonderful idea. I used a sling alot with my 3rd...wish I would have had it for #2 as well.

It is so hard to hear your baby cry, but remember it is okay to have it happen to. I hate having my kids cry, hate it and they are 6, 4, and 1. You will find a routine and a way to make things work, where you feel like you do more then hold your baby, in which you do now, it is just hard to notice with a one month old.

BTW, your DD is a cutie!

Paloma, you are doing just fine! We all second guess ourselves sometimes, particularly with our first babies. But you are doing exactly what you should be. Expect to get less done than you are used to for the next month or two. The first few months with baby are a bit chaotic, but they are precious. Definitely look into getting a sling/carrier if you don't already have one. They are awesome! And Natalia will either fall asleep or just enjoy her new vantage point snuggled close to you as you go about your business. ((hugs))

You are doing a great job! I can't give you any advice. Natalia is so young and you are doing all the right things to help her feel secure and safe with her mommy. As she gets older you will learn to follow her signals of when she wants to be held and when she just wants to sit on the floor and play.

I wrote this shortly after I had my oldest daughter and it has meant so much to me ever since.

Midnight Memories
(Aidan's Song)

The dishes are piling all high in the sink.
I am exhausted and dead on my feet.
The laundry is spilling all on to the floor.
My hair is all ratty- what an eyesore.

The baby is crying and I jolt awake
Wishing that I could go right back to sleep.
Then holding my baby so tight in my arms
She snuggles up close and I realize-

What a wonderful moment the two of us share.
I know of know moment that could ever compare.
As I sit and rock her to sleep,
I know in my heart my baby won't keep.

Forget the dishes, the dusting, the clothes-
I have a baby I need to now hold!

Oh Sarah that poem is beautifull TFS,

Thank you all!!!!!!!!! You have no idea how much better all your comments make me feel... :) ... it seems I am not the only one not being able to do it all! and I am glad I chose the most important! :D ...

:)

I am even happier now that we came back from the pediatrician! She says Natalia couldn't be better... she gained a pound and 3 oz. in 2 weeks... and is now 22 3/4 inches long!

:)

She says Natalia is doing really great! .... And she kept saying how strong Natalia is! ... that is awesome!

Thank you ladies!

And thanks Sarah for the poem! it's perfect you should get it published!

.... it describes it all perfect!

Hugs to all of you ... I love you!!!!!!!!!!

Paloma.

You're doing great, Paloma! Sounds like you have your priorities totally in order- baby first, housework later. They need all the cuddles and love you can give! I definitely used a carrier/sling- I loved the one I had, called the Maya Wrap. They will get sooo used to it and you can get so much done! And I loved my bouncy seat!

I love Dr. Sears who writes parenting books- he says you can't spoil a baby with attention.....when something is spoiled it's been sitting alone too long! :)

I second what all the other ladies said- sounds like Natalia is blessed with a great mommy!

[lovesign]

Ditto! Sounds like your doing exactly what you should. Give yourself a big pat on the back Momma!!:mrgreen: