I was wondering if any of your children have seen one or if you know people who have gone? Please PM me if you don't want info shown on here.

I've talked about DS who is 4. His behavior is becoming much more defiant. Today he hit his brother w/ a toy that made a gash on his forehead. It also seems he is not improving at preschool. The report is the same as last year-not keeping his hands to himself. Also a nervous tic has developed. We have seen our pediatrician and a pediatric eye doctor who says it could just be an allergy thing where he blinks instead of rubbing his eyes. I'm really not convinced of that but his vision is fine.

I do time outs, taking things away, as well as spankings if necessary. My growing up was only spankings and I really don't want to raise my boys that way. It made an insecurity in me that I feel will stay w/ me the rest of my life. I do know you can spank and not be angry. That's just not how my mom chose to do it. As a last straw, we are going to try to implement what our pediatrician suggested-a chart. The chart will be a rewards and taking away per good/bad behavior. If this fails, I am definitely going to tell her I want a psychologists opinion.

I need it if nothing else to make sure I'm not the problem. I worry that maybe I expect to much out of him because he's only 4? He wants my attention and I do give it to him but at the same time he wants brother to leave his stuff alone. Since brother is only 14 months that's not always feasible. So he resorts to pushing or taking toys or his pacifier out.

Sorry this is so long. Even if no one responds, I feel better getting it off my chest.

Sweetie....I come to you a MH professional and a Mom of a 4 year old boy and a 20 month old boy...this whole learning to share your toys/space/time is a HARD lesson and it's normal for the acting out--not to be tolerated and takes a LOT of repeating the "we don't do that" and taking things away/redirection--but normal still! My 4 year old is REALLY dealing with the whole sharing with his brother who is all of the sudden IN all of his stuff! and learning with new friends in a preschool setting for the first time too...we also don't spank, but use redirection/take away item in question/etc...actually my son's love language is quality time, so we have a positive behavior chart where I CATCH HIM BEING GOOD!!! and then after so many stickers, he turns them in for quality fun/reading/computer time with DH and I! IT HAS REALLLLLLY helped us! 1. I focus on the good 2. It has him 'trying' to be good to earn stickers 3. He is seeing that the obedience and being nice to others is paying off in fun ways for him!

Good luck, but I don't think a child psychologist is needed here....now, if there is TERRIBLE aggression that develops or his 'ticks' would get worse, then perhaps you would want to check it out, but from what you're describing to me....it sounds like typical 4 year old boy phases/learning....and yes, there are many days right now I think 'who are you child?! because there is such a difference all of the sudden!', but I have good news and that is with time and CONSISTENCY and love, they do move through it...right on to something else fun! LOL Hang in there!

I just took my oldest child, who is 6 to a psychologist.

The dr gave me great tools and resources for my DS. It certainly would not hurt to give it a whirl. My son deals with alot of anxiety issues and can be hard to handle at times, very physical.

Hope you do not mind insite from a newbie!

I sent you a PM :)

Thanks ladies for all your replies. Our roller coaster of a day ended well. At prayer time before bed, DS thanked Jesus for DH, me and his little brother. You can't get more precious than that.

Jayne, I will PM you later. We're leaving for swimming lessons.

Thanks ladies for all your replies. Our roller coaster of a day ended well. At prayer time before bed, DS thanked Jesus for DH, me and his little brother. You can't get more precious than that.

Jayne, I will PM you later. We're leaving for swimming lessons.


Awww that is a blessing, those little peices of encouragment help you to keep going esp. after a long and hard day :) No worries, I just hoped you had got it :)

What an amazing way to end a day that leaves you wanting to pull your hair out