I seriously almost made this a poll- maybe I could convince DH that he and I should just go with the majority!

We are going around and around AND around and AROUND about whether to have another baby. On the plus side, we ADORE kids. On the minus side, DH is getting older (will be 49 soon.) Of course there are other more minor plus and minus factors.....my older ones would be 4 and 6 when a new baby came, we've finally gotten all our kids to sleep through the night, it's getting easier to go places, etc. I feel like every single day I'm waffling for one reason or another.

I DO understand the real answer, which is just to trust God with it. My DH isn't quite there- wants us to make more of an "official" decision.

What kind of things do you girls weigh in deciding? Any words of wisdom or advice for me? This is making me INSANE! [whatwacko]

Thanks in advance, sisters! [loveyou]

I DO understand the real answer, which is just to trust God with it. My DH isn't quite there- wants us to make more of an "official" decision.


Well, you can expect a REAL answer from God, too, if you pray and have faith that He WILL answer. One that doesn't go along the lines of "do whatever you want and just trust Him to pick up the slack" kind of thing, but a REAL yes/no answer before you do anything. kwim? That way, He makes the decision and you don't have to waffle about it. Waffling is generally only good with a generous amount of butter and syrup. lol

And if God doesn't answer in a tangible way, pick a path and stick with it. The bible says a double minded man is unstable in all his ways. So don't be double minded about it. Ask God, and afterwards, pick your path.


Proverbs 16:9
A man’s heart plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.


James 1
6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

That's how my DH and I try to approach big decisions...

Of course, I can't tell you whether or not to have another baby. Only you and your hubby through prayer and discernment can make that decision.

But keep in mind that it's not "now or never" either. My MIL had my BIL and my DH 2 1/2 years apart and then deliberately waited 6 years and had my SIL. My SIL and my DH are almost 7 years apart! (Of course, some of that time was spent just convincing my FIL to have another baby, lol)

No advice here, I just think that I'll be in the same exact boat you're in...in a few years maybe. I can see wanting another little one possibly (read: waffling!) and DH not being sure (read: more waffling!). SO, yeah, no advice, but keep us updated...I'll be there soon enough!

<<hugs>>

Well, IF I could tell you what to do...I would say...have more babies :p But you already knew that. And I can't tell you what to do. Just keep praying babe, just keep praying. On your own and with hubs. :)

A few other questions that you could ask yourself to clarify your feelings and situation:

1) Despite not TTC, what would my feelings be if I got a + HPT 2 weeks from now?

2) If I did have a baby, would I regret having the baby?

3) If I didn't have a baby, would I regret not having one?

4) What are our finances like? If we were to get pregnant ASAP, would it work out well, or be a huge strain that requires tons of adjustments?



In our case, we were TTC #2 and took a break due to some issues that came up. A couple months into the TTC break, DH surprised me one evening by saying if I wanted to be pregnant, he was fine with it and didn't see any huge need to wait. So anyway, I got a BFP about 12 days after that, lol. Good thing that we got a BFP fast since we are wafflers, lol! I can only imagine the torment that I would go through if I had to TTC for any length of time to get a BFP, because I would probably be asking, "Should we or shouldn't we? the whole time!" LOL.



So all that to say, that I can sympathize with waffling. (((HUGS)))

Yup, you should... thus sayeth Joy! [lovesmile]

[lovewuvu]

Joy [welcomewave]

I love Tara and Joy, my non-politically correct friends- you girls just put it right out there!

[rofl]

I'm so glad I'm not the only mother who ever thinks this. For me it's never about finances or wanting another one. It's can I handle another one? My 2 boys are 4 and 1. Oldest DS aggravates the smaller one a lot. I've almost posted a question on here before to see if boys seem to pick on siblings more than girls?

DH is fine either way. He is from a family w/ 4 kids and I just have 1 younger brother. Of course we will pray either way. We're both in our early 30s so I know we have a little time. Anywho, just posting my thoughts. Good luck Lady Lavender on whatever you decide.

I think one of my biggest hesitations is DH's age....I know he's "only" almost 49 now, but then when I think of him being 60 when we have a 10-year-old, that makes me think harder about it. It's funny, because the age thing was never really a consideration before, but now I find myself thinking on it.

well here's your kick in the pants to go back to NOT thinking about it :p
he's in good health. active, involved...it's all good...don't sweat it
now if he had health issues, sure, I'd take that into consideration (I think..or at least would do the pc thing and advise you to :snort: ) but provided there are no major issues..let it be
age is only a number m'dear :)

I'm with Tara and Joy here.......I say do it!! Me loves babies:mrgreen:

I totally relate to age being a bit of factor here. My dh is a bit older than I and it really does effect the way he feels about it. Another concern for us last go around was the large age spread in our family, this anxiety increased as we were ttc #4 for over 4 years. But God of course took care of things in His perfect time and way and we have no regrets of course.

I agree with many of the above posters and suggest really giving it over to God, then making a decision and trying (I know it's hard) not to waffle about it. I thought Ruth's questions might provide some good talking points for you and dh. We've sometimes agreed to take a longer period of time (40 days, 3 mths, whatever) and pray individually about something before coming back together to make a decision.

Personally, I'd go for it!

I'm with Tara, Joy, and Eva. More babies! hehehe

Hi LL
I have been thinking about you and praying for you guys in this decision :) I too have wondered about this recently!!! Age isn't too much of a factor for us, just other considerations!!