guilty

[buttercup_97140]

I love being pg, I know how very blessed I am to be pg again, especially with a healthy little girl, but I feel sooooooooooooo done! I feel gulity about feeling done and anxious to have her. I know we probably all get there sometime, and I want to just really enjoy having her in me for these last few days. I think the hardest part is that we have waited for a long time to "have" a baby. To have one at home to hold, to cuddle, to be with here on earth. It feels like we have waited for her for sooooooooooooooooooooo long that it's making these last few weeks go by so slowly. I have such a hard time walking because of the pelvic/pubic symphysis pain, I've hit the time in pregnancy that I can't sleep, yet I'm exhausted at the wrong times, and I contract whenever I do anything. I started having the menstrual type contractions too, but alas, they are not frequent.

So, pretty much this is a pathetic whine, and really I have no good reason to do so. Please pray for my attitude before the Lord during this time. He asks us to rejoice in ALL things...and I am, but I think I'm not giving 100% to my rejoicing, and that's not ok.

I know I only have a shorttime with this little girl in my belly, and I want to enjoy it, so very much, but I want to hold her in my arms to badly too!!!

Thanks for a place to vent........:-)
Blessings,
Amber

[breezykc2]

Ah hugs! You are SO normal! LOL, I don't any woman who doesn't get to that place...personally, I get there sooner than most I think! Haha! You have waited a long time and stood faithfully through trials and I pray that you hold your precious and perfectly healthy little girl in your arms soon! Hang in there!

[MommyJessy]

I agree with Breezy, perfectly normal! :) I pray that you have patience these last few weeks and enjoy the time. :-D

[Tammyn4As]

I will be praying for you Amber! Don't feel guilty, after all you have been thru it is not suprising that you would want to have here to hold! You are such a strong lady and before to much longer she will be here.

[~Tara~]

Aww Amber *hugs*
As I read Breezy's post I just sat here nodding my head 'yep, yep' You *have* waited a long time for this baby. You *have* been through a lot. You *are* normal. We all go through this period of being done and anxious do see our new one. And I'm sure we also all have the moment of feeling like crud for being so impatient too. That we aren't waiting in the Lord enough. It's ok. It will be ok. Acknowledging that you aren't where you should be in that respect is a good thing. It will keep you trying to keep the right focus. And God knows your heart. He knows you are not being malicious in this impatience. He completely understands.

Just keep hanging in there girl. Very soon you WILL be holding that darling little girl in your arms. :)

[gamommyto4girls]

Whine away my friend. I can understand why your arms, heart, and body are beyond anxious for her to arrive. What a joyous day that will be!

I never went past 37 weeks with a pregnancy but I know how 'done' I was before each of my deliveries. So just rest as comfortably as you can these last few days. Perhaps some journaling would help you to connect with her in the meantime?

((hugs))

[buttercup_97140]

You guys are so wonderful....and I can tell that someone has been praying for me. What a blessing that has been. I feel soooooo relaxed today! :-D
Ok, so I went to the midwife today, and the Lord totally blessed me with what I needed....like He always does! :-D I was not really dilated at all last time, and when she checked me this time I was soft and a 3! Whoohooo! It's nice to have a few cm down when things get started. My midwife said.....and I quote..."oh this baby is gonna fall out of you!" Haahaa!!! We did set an induction date, they took mercy on me and figured Makelah would be ready by 39 weeks. Because the placenta can deteriorate faster with gestational diabetes and my sugars are getting harder to control, we all figured it was best to get her out before anything had time to happen.
I know Makelah's days are numbered already in the Lord's book, but we just don't wanna push things too far.....and it means I get to meet her sooner! Haa!! :-D The midwives really don't think I will make it to my induction date though...and if the contractions keep up like they are, I don't know if I will either!

Thank you all again......you are so special to me!

Blessings,
Amber

[breezykc2]

I will pray for you everyday, promise! It sounds like it's getting close and God is good with his "little" encouragers he hands us for sure!

[tripper]

Aww Amber *hugs*
As I read Breezy's post I just sat here nodding my head 'yep, yep' You *have* waited a long time for this baby. You *have* been through a lot. You *are* normal. We all go through this period of being done and anxious do see our new one. And I'm sure we also all have the moment of feeling like crud for being so impatient too. That we aren't waiting in the Lord enough. It's ok. It will be ok. Acknowledging that you aren't where you should be in that respect is a good thing. It will keep you trying to keep the right focus. And God knows your heart. He knows you are not being malicious in this impatience. He completely understands.

Just keep hanging in there girl. Very soon you WILL be holding that darling little girl in your arms. :)

Tara said it all. [loveyou]

[Reneemomto5]

That's a great report Amber! Can't wait to hear all the stats on your baby girl!

Hugs and prayers.

Oh can you post lots of pics of your girls when you have a chance than? I am so excited for you sweetie.

[savedbygrace]

Praying for you my dear friend. I'm so sad I didn't get to see you! I was so close!!! Maybe one day....
Hang in there girl, so your little angel will be here!

[cjropher]

That's great news!

[believeNgrace]

Keep you close to heart and in prayer my dear sister. YOU are truly amazing! Another blessed journey with you, thanks so much for sharing it with us.

God bless and happy contracting soon :-)

[buttercup_97140]

Hey gals......

You are all so wonderful!

Update.....Still pg. Friday night I started contracting a lot at work, had one of the residents check me...(remember I work in L&D) and I had changed my cervix from a 2.5 to a 4 so I went in. My contractions slowed down and I stalled at 4. They decided not to give me anything to keep them going because I was only about 50% effaced....so they figured I had time. Kinda bummed about that...but in the end...it's ok. I have had contractions all night the last 4 nights.....had them pretty regularly today, but they are now only like early labor, not the painful ones like the last three nights. I went in to be checked yesterday after all that contracting and I actually LOST a cm. Ugggg!! Haahaa....can you tell how powerful our Lord's will is? I praise Him that He is in control!! Makelah also decided that coming down wasn't for her, so she went back waaaaaay up. The midwife couldn't even feel her when pushing on my belly......where o' where did my baby go? Haahaa!!!

The Lord has really worked on my heart.....thanks for the prayers! I am happy to still be pg. I am starting to look forward to my birth instead of being miserable pg. KWIM? I actually DON"T want to go into labor until my induction on Monday because a nurse I work with here actually works more at the hospital we are deliverying at, and she is going to be my nurse. I had her when I went to the hospital the other day and we had a blast! Haa!!! If the Lord decides Makelah's bday is not going to be Monday but before I am ok with that, but I don't want to try to do anything to bring on labor early anymore. No more stripping of membranes, no more home stuff either.

Please pray that I will keep my attitude towards the positive and that I continue to Praise the Lord for His perfect will. It's the only will I wanna follow!!

Blessings,
Amber

[davidsmommy]

Oh Amber, how exciting! You are almost there. You are in my prayers.

[Tammyn4As]

Wow, it won't be to much longer now! I am so excited for you! Please keep us updated!

[LadyLavender]

Oooo, Amber, I'm hoping for news from you soon!

[claploud]