View Full Version : Help! I Feel Like I'm Always Yelling
10-02-2006, 11:12 PM
...at dd! i know I'm majorly stressed right now but it seems like I'm always getting after her! And of course sometimes I yell :oops: I hate this! I don't want to be mean but it seems like I'm always getting after her and it doesn't help when her sibling is a baby so he doesn't do anything to get into trouble and he's always getting praise and compliments. Some of you moms who have older kids...what do I do?! Thanks for any advice you can offer!
10-03-2006, 01:01 AM
I catch myself doing this at times. DD is going on 3 and DS is going on 6 months. So i can totally relate. What i do during the times i catch myself always getting after dd and not ds (since like you said he is a baby) is praise her for the times that she IS behaving. So that way she knows i'm not just acknowledging when she is misbehaving but also when she is behaving.
10-03-2006, 05:44 AM
Oh I hear ya Sister! Daniel is 2 and VERY active and independent (almost to the point of stubborness). I think alot of us probably feel the same way you do. What do I do? Hmm...actually he gets praise just as much so...because he is DOING so much. We are sitting down learning numbers and letters and colors and he's doing SUPER ('member...I'm his Mom...I'll brag :wink: )! So I guess try and help her learn new things. The more words she has the better she will be at communicating her frustration (albeit "no" will be big) and she'll maybe tell you what she why she's doing (or not doing). Sometimes this helps sometimes not. Lots of times when he doesn't listen we leave the situation at home or out (we've missed many events becasue of behavior). I also pray everynight that God help me be the kind of Mom He wants and needs me to be. I know it is little consolation but that's all I got. None of us will ever be "Perfect Mom" but with God we can give our best. Wish I could've help more but this is what we do with Daniel. :D Take care! ~Kerri
10-03-2006, 09:29 AM
I hear you JeanineAnne. Boy! the trials of motherhood! :? You hav already received such good advice.
I pray for God to give me a renewed heart after my child that I am at odds with. He always does. I notice suddenly more things about the child that is adorable and loveable which helps me when he isn't so adorable and loveable.
I also try to remember that nothing lasts. It seems that a child will go through a time where things are difficult but then it changes. I try to imagine what my life would be like if today I found out that this child was going home to the Lord tomorrow. The things that were bothering me don't bother me so much. And I ask God to increase my love and help me be gentle and compassionate in my parenting. I fail miserable so often. You are not alone! Big hugs! You are a great mom...and she loves you even when you yell at her just as you love her even when you are yelliing. It is the stuff of families. :D
10-03-2006, 11:36 AM
I only have one child - so my situation is a bit different. But, I still find myself getting frustrated at ds and wanting to yell. Recently, whenever I feel myself getting angry, I bend down to his level hold his face in my hands give him a kiss and tell him I love him. Then I go on with what I was doing. It usually helps, but I can see how having 2 would make the situation more interesting.
10-03-2006, 12:33 PM
Thanks guys, you've given some great suggestions. Has someone been praying for me? Because just this morning I have found my temper has lessened! PTL! I know that one of the biggest things I'm gonna have to do is watch what I say to her to make sure I'm not always yelling or correcting her. Thanks for everything!
10-03-2006, 02:51 PM
Ohhh, this is something that was bothering me until recently. Now, though, things have changed, and I'm not sure if it was all the prayer and the HS changing me or what. But things are improving in my neck of the woods.
I've gotten in the habit of saying please and thank you. "Audrey, hand Mommy your sister's toy, please." She either hands it to me right away, or I have to repeat myself a few times. Then, she'll either give it to me or get in trouble. She usually gives it to me when I threaten her with the consequences of disobeying me, lol! (i.e. "You must really want a time-out. Don't you?) Then, it's "Thank you, sweetie."
It's so hard to treat them with the respect that you treat other adults with, though! Because you're not another adult's discipliarian, but you are your daughter's. But, I've found that remembering to treat them with the same respect that you would treat a stranger with makes it easier. Audrey's responding better to my discipline now, too.
10-03-2006, 05:56 PM
Wow, I can so relate! Sometimes I wonder what others would think if they could see how impatient I am sometimes!
ONe thing that I do sometimes is stop and pray outloud. I think it freaks DS out, like, hey, I was pitching a fit here or something. BUt I pray something like God please give mommy patience and help Silas to obey...then it kind of makes me laugh.
No one can push my buttons like my own preschoolers!
10-06-2006, 06:51 PM
Our youngest is 4 mo. we also have a 2 year old and a 4 year old. After the baby was born our son,4, started being really naughty and disrespectful. He had never done that before and I thought maybe he was jealous. However he loved the baby and never said anything negative about her. I thought about it some more and decided maybe he wasn't getting enough individual attention. Now I put the 2 girls down for nap and we have a "date time' just him and me. I give him my whole attention for 15-30 minutes depending on the day. His bad behavior is almost gone. Somtimes it is just a way to get attention! By the way I have to remind myself daily not to yell. Kids know exactly how to irritate us.
10-07-2006, 08:35 AM
My dd definetly knows how to push my buttons! Now that she is three she has become increasingly difficult. One method I use to get her attention is to hold her chin. This doesn't hurt her...and eventually she will make eye contact and listen to me. Eye contact is the key with her, if she's not looking at me then she is probably ignoring me. We are trying to teach her to respond politely with Yes Mom or Yes Dad, instead of Not Yet, or I know. Slowly we are teaching her manners but its not an easy job. I have to speak with a rather stern voice most of the time, I feel like I'm yelling, but I guess you can call it an authoritative voice.
Oh yeah BTDT ... still doing it LOL I need to remember to praise her every time she is good. Most of the time I do. But sometimes I forget when I'm busy. Anyway, most of the time I yell at her is when she is bugging Sophie when she is lying in the bouncinette sleeping and even when she's awake. Abby plays with her hands and feet and talks to her and I know she is only trying to interact with her and she isn't doing anything wrong so to speak. So I need to find another way to deal with it instead of yelling at her to leave her alone because she's sleeping or to be gentle. UGH
10-16-2006, 07:24 PM
my dh and i were just talking about this last night. neither of us are really prone to raising our voice - stern yes, yelling no. we were talking about how i felt bad recently when i yelled at our dd and she started to cry like i had *really* broken her heart. we talked about how if we were to yell continually, there would be no effective response ever. there are times when it is appropriate (she ran from me into a parking lot) but i guess what i'm saying is think about why you are yelling.. is it necessary to get the attention? or could you discipline them just as effectively by approaching them firmly and asking them why they are behaving a certain way.