Ok, the reason I am posting this is cause naturally we are having some issues with getting ds to sleep on his own and in his crib. I don't want to rush him into anything, but I think we have been doing this routine for about a month and there is no change in what he wants. Here is our routine:

bath around 6pm (he usually gets too tired after he eats, so we do this first)
dinner right after
light play and/or book
nurse to sleep between 7 & 8pm
lay him down in his crib

THEN...
within the hour, he is up crying 2-4 times! ugh...
SO...
DH tries rocking him back to sleep and if that doesn't work I nurse him back to sleep.

DH and I do this until we go to bed around 10pm and then when he cries after that, I just bring him in to bed with us.
I love for him to sleep with us but I'm starting to feel as though I have done ds a terrible disservice by not teaching him to sleep on his own. :(

I've tried some of the tips in "no-cry sleep solution" but nothing has worked yet. I don't know, maybe he's not ready...or I'm not.

Basically, I just want to know what works for you and baby at sleep time. I have to nurse my baby to sleep at this point.

how is the rest of his schedule like? how long/how many naps during the day, etc? when does he wake in the morning (for good?)

i had a slight issue with Nathaniel for awhile... still do occasionally.. .he will get tired around 8 pm but if i put him to bed at 8 he wakes up before bedtime because he treats it as a nap. we make him stay up until 9 pm. he does take 2 naps during the day (11am-12:30, and usually around 3-4 pm). anyway i CANNOT allow him to go to sleep any sooner than 9pm because it will just be a 3rd nap to him and then he is up until midnight, and then the next day he is sooooo tired and cranky because he didn't get enough sleep. so, we keep him up until 9. usually he will start rubbing his eyes around 8 or 8:30 or so but we just play with him and keep him laughing and entertained until 9 rolls around.

so, that is what is working for us. :-)

oh btw, when i put him to bed i nurse him until he is getting sleepy (and about to go to sleep, but i don't actually let him fall asleep) then i just put him in his crib. he might fuss for a minute or two but then he gives in and goes to sleep LOL.

Both DS's have always been laid down in their bed. I turn on the mobile and sound machine and leave. There are occasions that DS who is 1 will fuss a little. Usually he's just lost his pacifier. I've heard so many different ways to help babies. I didn't nurse and I guess I've just been lucky that they both have fallen asleep pretty quickly. There are nights that DS wakes up throughout the night but he's been teething lately w/ molars. I usually just give him his pacifier again or sometimes a little Tylenol if necessary.

I think that the main thing is to do what you are comfortable with and find what works for your family. Certainly don't worry about what other people think you should be doing - many people will try to tell you that your baby should know how to self-settle. But all families and all babies are different. Some babies just don't learn sleep skills easily, some seem to require extra reassurance. I have found that it gets a lot easier when the child is a little older and communication has improved.

I chose nursing to sleep - because that is what I was doing with dd at his age. She never been a good sleeper though - I spent a long time nursing her to sleep every night because it seemed the best solution for us at the time (and the only way to stay sane :) ).

I didn't tend to do this with ds - he slept a lot better (at times we had long periods where he was settling himself every night). There were also times where I would need to sit next to him and hold his hand until he fell asleep. I found that even children who usually settle well can have periods where they seem to require extra reassurance. And things like new fears or sickness can really ruin good sleep patterns that you have worked really hard to establish. Littlies can suddenly develop fear of being alone or darkness - dd developped a fear of being enclosed in her crib and ended up sleeping much better when we took the mattress out of the crib.

I am currently teaching dd (21 months) to settle herself. We talk about her being a big girl and I am often able to sit and read/pray in the doorway - and she will settle herself knowing that I am close. Eventually I should be able to leave her to settle herself - but I am comfortable with that for now. This is how I weaned ds off needing me to be there or hold his hand.

It is still tricky when sometimes she just doesn't seem to be tired enough. Sometimes I have found that shifting nap time and duration can do wonders for night settling - but it takes a bit of trial and error and requires tweeking as sleep needs change.

I am a real fan of sleep cues at bedtime - particularly a song that is always played or sung immediately before bedtime. It seems to help that when baby hears the particular song they know exactly what is expected of them. However, it takes quite a few nights of repeating the routine for baby to tune in to the sleep cues.

I agree with Jo, it's what works for your family and what you're comfortable with, but around here, you're laid down and left to be. Patrick, the baby, will be two in September. He is laid down at 8:30 and he goes to sleep. He rolls around and talks to himself for about fifteen minutes, but he goes right off to sleep. He takes a 3 hour nap after lunch and a quick 30-45 minute nap around 6:00

Bri, will be three in October, is put to bed between 9:30 and 10:00 and he lays in there and plays until he wears himself down. He's VERY hyperactive, has autistic issues, and is very over stimulated all the time. he came out of the box that way and regardless of any other circumstances is ALWAYS over stimulated. He has to wear himself down, right now, he's in there talking to Mr. bear. (his alter ego/best friend/attachment toy) It's 12:09 a.m. Some nights he'll talk for hours, some nights he talks for a few minutes. But he knows he has to lay down and stay in bed. He takes a few matchbox cars to bed for him and bear to play with. No matter what time he falls asleep, he's awake wide eyes and bushy tailed at 8:30 a.m. he also takes a 2-3 hour nap during the day.
Gabe is eight. He's just sent to bed, LOL. What he does when he goes in there in his business, but like Bri, he must lay down and stay down. If he's grouchy the next day, he's required to lay down and rest, but usually he can tell what he needs sleep wise. he's pretty good at it.

Gabe slept with us until he was almost 3, and while I don't regret it, per sey, I do wish we'd put him in his own bed a lot sooner. Bri slept with us until he was 6 weeks, while I was nursing. After that, he was put into his own bed. No questions asked. Patrick slept with us until he was closer to 5 or 6 months b/c he was sick and we weren't comfortable with him elsewhere. He gradually moved from our bed, to beside our bed, to just oustide our bedroom door, to the other side of the living room, and eventually to his bedroom.

I breast feed or rock them to sleep until they are about 9 months or so. Then they are left inside of their crib to fall asleep on their own. They usually put up quite a fuss for the first few nights, but in about a week or so (if you're consistent)... they are content to lay down at bed time and fall asleep on their own :)

I love for him to sleep with us but I'm starting to feel as though I have done ds a terrible disservice by not teaching him to sleep on his own. :(


In the NCSS, Pantley talks about it's unrealistic to expect babies to teach themselves to fall asleep on their own. She states in one place in her book that 60% of parent's surveyed, said their child didn't sleep thru the night until after 2yrs old.
So the good news is, your child is perfectly normal! The bad news is, it's exhausting & I understand all too well what you're going thru.
Babies go thru growth spurts, teething, & food sensitivities sometimes too. I remember my son being the worst from 9-11 months...
Try to take it one day at a time & nap with him every chance you get.. make time to do this - even if that means not getting a house chore done..

ETA: I wanted to say you are doing a great job mama at meeting your babies nighttime needs! I know it's exhausting, but I have seen with my own children the pay off of not following a CIO method.

Through no work of my own, dd falls asleep well in her bed on her own. I usually do try to put her in her bed for the night when she is sleepy, but not asleep. That's not to say that I never hold her at night until she is asleep sometimes and then lay her down. But, with both my kiddos we use special night time CDs and always play the same music as they are laying down. I guess that's called a sleep cue as a PP said. :-)

I nurse mine to sleep. They often get to a point, as Warrior is now, where they nurse but just won't fully give it up. So, I nurse, then whether asleep or not, I go lay them in bed. Sometimes they go right out, other times they fuss a few minutes.

When they start sleeping in their own bed (for most of mine that's been around 1 yr), I nurse and if they fall asleep I carry them in to bed. But they don't always fall asleep then at that age. In that case, I nurse them sometime before bedtime then..send them on their way 'off to bed with ya' like the rest of the crew. They crawl in and that's that. At this age they would sleep 4 hr probably before waking to nurse, at which time I would go get them and bring them to my bed for the rest of the night/morning.

did that help any?

I nurse mine to sleep. They often get to a point, as Warrior is now, where they nurse but just won't fully give it up. So, I nurse, then whether asleep or not, I go lay them in bed. Sometimes they go right out, other times they fuss a few minutes.


This is what I did as well. I would often sing the same song to both ds and dd every night as well as they were nursing. There were other sleep cues as they got older....stories, songs, prayers and such. But generally (under a year old), I would nurse them and then put them to bed, asleep or not.

I'm an advocate of the "whatever works best for YOU plan". I nurse, rock, AND put Grace to sleep and then put her in bed with us.

"EEEK", "WOW", "Oh My", are some responses I've received, not to mention to unsolicited "advice", which is why I really don't share our nite time routine with many. Just don't need *that* kinda help, if you know what I mean?!?.

I figure this time is way too precious to worry over and I don't know any 20 year old girls who still sleep with Mommy and Daddy but this technique for us comes from me having a brother murdered and therefore, I know how precious life is, how quickly it can be taken, and I just can't worry about things, it takes away too much, so all that to say, do what works for YOU momma and the rest will take care of itself.

I'm sure there will come a day when there will be a "battle of the beds" but for "today" and now, I'm enjoying this time with her, and it works for us.

God bless your nite nite routines :-)

Oh, wow... all of your comments (and votes) have made me feel so much better. Thanks, as always gals!

Aloha!

em and bran are totally different. I'd walk emme in a stroller up and down the hallway for 20 minutes or more and bran I jut lay him down and he's good to go with maybe a tiny bit of fussing. . .Yay for that;)

I put them down awake and they usually take a while to learn how to fall asleep, but I usually don't have any huge crying fits either. Works for us here!

I chose two options...

1. Feed her and then she sleeps...

2. Another great way that works for us (when number one didn't work) is that DH holds her... and he starts moving around the house with her in his arms ... and he moves her very softly up and down while telling her Genesis chapter one and then a Psalm....right after that he starts counting from 1 to 50, then 2 by 2 until he reaches 50, then with number 3, then 10 and by then she is asleep!

:D

Paloma.