ok, so miss grace turns one soon and her new trick are tantrums. oh joy!

i know it's her way of communicating frustration since she is becoming oh so independent. she likes to do things by herself.

and she is very good at tantrums, she loves to arch her back, kick and whale on the floor, and throw herself backward. OK this is where I need help.

how do i diffuse the trantrums?

last nite, i took her to the bedroom and talked calmly to her and nursed her.

HELP and Suggestions, please.

I personally believe the best medicine...is not paying her any mind...leave the room, turn away from her...AFTER she quiets down, then you can reaffirm her emotions and tell her we don't act like that and offer the idea that if you use your words nicely instead, you will know what she needs and can help. (ie...Mommy knows that you are mad, and that is okay, we all feel mad sometimes, but we can't throw a fit...you have to use your words so I can know what you need and help you)....
It's an early power play for control and attention and many times after being repeatedly ignored for the outbursts instead of feeding them by telling her to stop the entire time and giving her your undivided upset attention, just ignoring them helps difuse the power they give her...
Good luck! Easier said then done ignoring them...especially in public! Much easier at home! LOL

Great advice, will DO!

what about when she throws herself back and hits her head on the floor or worse the corner of furniture????

for the floor, i'm guessing a couple of times and she'll learn that hurts and won't do it but the furniture part, scares me. And oh boy, I can tell when it's about to happen, so I find myself reacting to catch her, which I know is drawing attention to her but I also don't want her hurting herself. when it looks like she'll be near furniture, should i just go pick her up but then diffuse it somehow? maybe put her on the floor so she can fall back and then not focus attention?

She's just started doing this, all of a sudden as of last week, voila!, tantrum city.

OK, so I know all you mommy's out there that have more than one are laughing at this point, but you all remember the first time mommy days, right? As with everything else, it will work itself out but boy oh boy, this learning curve can be tough (sighs, as she scratches head).

You can buy corner protectors so that she hits her head on hard rubber instead of wood, glass or metal depending on what your furniture is made of. I would do a quick check to make sure she is physically okay and consider the pain that she inflicted on herself to be her punishment. I completely agree with paying no attention to the tantrum in order to calm the situation.

Sara

Ditto the corner protectors...however! Warning! They take off the finish of wood!! I ended up taking my coffee table out of the room for awhile and if my kiddos were really throwing a tantrum, I'd put them in a safe place like a playpen so they could melt down if I needed to go out of the room without being there to give them face time with it....

Can I ask what she tantrums for? Are you noticing it happening before she's eaten or when it's almost naptime? Is she getting frustrated with a toy not doing something she wants it to do, does she need to be changed?

I always ask myself these questions, b/c yeah, for my older toddler that wants his way, tantrums don't get any attention (although he rarely tantrums) .. but when mine were that young (like 15 mo or younger) , if there was a "tantrum" it was usually for the above mentioned things - so i could've ignored it...but then I'd really miss those cues & could end up missing an opportunity for learning (like if they're frustrated w/a toy)... or miss a cue for a nap..etc.

I'm just saying that every frustration or upset can be for something different & it's important to at least hone in on what's really going on, so you become a real expert on your child! :-)

I agree to hone in on whatever might be the cause of the frustration.

As far as injuring herself, I would often gently pick up flailing child and place her in the middle of the room where she could have her fit safely, saying "I'll see you when you're all done" and then step over her and walk away.

I always put mine in their crib or a playpen, where is was the safest. We have a lot of hardwood and it always scared me! Good luck!!

Thanks Ladies for all of the advice, I'm taking it ALL in!

The tantrums occur when she doesn't get the 'thing' she's wanting like the lamp cord, the cable cord, electrical outlets with covers,etc. I let her explore her environment and do not make her live in a glass house and I do let her have hands on to "stuff" but somethings aren't play toys and I've tried baby proofing the house for her.

Keep the wisdom coming!

I see! Most of the time (although there are exceptions), at that age, you can diffuse a tantrum by redirecting her to a toy she CAN play with. For instance, she's going for a lamp cord - you can say something like "that's not for you" while you're redirecting her to something she can play with. Like "oh, look at this neat puzzle" or whatever.. just getting her playing with something else :-)

With my foster son who has Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder I have to use a lot of re-direction, time outs do not work for him, so by my previous post that never worked for him. Every child is different and one discipline tactic will work on one, but not the other.
I would try re-directing as well to start. You can say, "that's not your toy, that's for Mommy only or Daddy only, this is your toy" or I use a lot of "that's not your job, that's Mommy's job" for certain things! Good luck, it does get easier!!!!