Breast feeding

When I had my twins I couldn't breastfeed them as it just DIDN'T happen, even though I did try - and someone around the time had given me this WHOLE manual on breastfeeding, I mean it is a novel sized book - I have tried reading up on it but everytime I do I feel overwhelmed and think "this is too hard" - does anyone think this book sounds like a bit of overkill? Or does b/f come off to you as a natural instinct?

My MIL has already started hassling me about feeding arrangements and I am only 15wks, and she really rubbed it in that the twins weren;t b/f even though she KNEW very well I couldn't, all of it the book and the hassle is starting to make me feel edgy..... probably just hormones

[AmyB]

Well, shame on your mil for giving you grief. It really isn't her decision nor any of her business. Too bad she doesn't realize it.

I think I would be overwhelmed with a great big book on breastfeeding too. For some moms and babes, I think it comes very naturally. With my first child, however, she had trouble latching on and with me being inexperienced, I needed help from a lactation consultant. It took almost a month of getting outside help before we got it down. Then, from the experience I had with her, my son and I managed okay on our own.

[Gracie]

This is such a painful topic for me in so many ways. I was obsessed with bfing when I was pregnant, and then when DD came we tried for 3 aggonizing weeks...but I had to give up. I dont think its for everyone. I was so depressed about it...but then you look at the big picture and yes its natural but you know a lot of other things are too...but I dont see those people who look down on your for not bfing churning butter or anything, kwim? (oh, and by the way I have made home made butter before...so Im one up on them anyway! jk) :lol: lol...ok, a little extreme but modern technology can be a good thing...esp. in the case of forumla. :D Still, ask God to give you the confidence and ability! If it doesnt happen well praise the Lord you can afford to buy formula and live in a country where its an option! :) God bless with that!

[raisinberry]

A book would be overwhelming to me as well! James had a hard time learning as well, so we struggled with pumping and trying for about a month. We had to talk to a great lactation consultant, go in for a consultation and talk on the phone to her some more! I don't think it comes naturally for everyone. If so, James and I missed the boat on that one. :) So I would toss the book in a box and don't look at it. If you decided to try nursing with this one, talk to the lactation consultant. And if she is not helpful contact someone else. And if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for formula feeding! You are still feeding your child and loving them. It is so much more important that babies have loving mommies than formula vs nursing. I am so sorry you are having someone bugging you about a personal decision.

[Kerina]

Congratulations! I have had challenges with breastfeeding as well. My first was in NICU for a week, which made it difficult to get used to breastfeeding for both of us. Since my second one was born 12 weeks premature, she couldn't take food by mouth for 4 weeks. She did nurse at 32 weeks, though. Just remember that breastfeeding is what God intended, just like walking. 99% of the time, it is possible to breastfeed. Don't let nurses intimidate you. When you are relaxed, the baby will be relaxed. And of course, ask for help if you feel you need it. Keep the book around for reference when you have a question, too. I strongly encourage you to nurse. You will be glad you did. I know I'm thankful that I did. Even if it didn't work out, I would have been mad at myself if I didn't at least try. BTW, I am still nursing both girls. Good Luck!! :)

[MommaBear]

Well if you read my other post you know where I stand on this. Breastfeeding does NOT come naturally. Like anything it is work. And like work sometimes you LOVE it and sometimes you don't. When you don't you find other ways to nourish yourself. Same here.

Some babies and mommies LOVE bfing and some don't. Those that don't go on to formula and are nourished. I was really excited to bf our first. I had this vision of us nursing and having quiet time together....boy was I SHOCKED when he got here! I REALLY struggled with latching, VERY sore nipples from an improper latch and him losing weight. After a HORRENDOUS 2 weeks we both got comfortable, got a proper latch and enjoyed this experience.

HOWEVER...having said that bfing is NOT for everyone. But at least try it. If it doesn't work..eh so what? You're still plannin' on giving them FOOD albeit in a different way. And Girl! I think I would have formula fed twins TOO! :D I mean, bfing is physically tiring I could NOT imagining two wee ones feeding! :shock:

Prayers and wishes of luck and peace in your decision to you! ~Kerri

[jamma]

Shame on your mil is right. She certainly has no right at all to tell you what to do with regards to feeding your babies!

Breastfeeding does not come naturally, like people said. I had some huge trouble with our son, I think it took a good 6 weeks to two months before we really got it down. We supplemented with formula in that time too.

The bottom line is that your babies need a healthy and happy mother. If breastfeeding them is going to stress you out, cause you to be resentful, or if you just hate it (after giving it a good go) then there is no reason to feel bad about giving the formula. And TWINS! GIRL!!

You do what you feel is best for your children. No one here and no one in your family can make those decisions for you.

[mom n luv]

I am so glad this thread came up. I am preg. with #2 and very nervous about breastfeeding. The hospital I am going to has only one lactation consultant and you have to have an ok from her to get discharged. In my opinion she did a very poor job in helping me. I am thinking about either addressing my issues with her before the baby comes or hiring and independant lactation consultant. I would really encourage you to look for a professional that will listen to you and support you in what ever your decision.

Through a seemingly random interation(God's plan) [amenamen] my dh husband had with a woman at work I was introduced to epping (exclusively pumping). I tried for awhile to bf. But it was not working I told the lactation consultant that I was going to ep and she basically brushed me off and told me that that would not work. I began epping and was able to feed my son mostly breast milk for about 7 1/2 weeks. We were all calm and the baby was thriving which would not have been happening if we had continued to follow the consultants advice.

Anyway, ds was able to latch on at 7 1/2 weeks and we happily nursed until I got pg again. It turns out that ds had a condition, torticollis, basically a very bad kink in the neck that made it virtually impossible to bf. I was told by his PT that many cases like his are caught by the consulatnt and PT can start immediatley which would have helped my son latch alot sooner.

So, as I get down from my [soapbox]. All I can really say is surround yourself with people who support your decisions. MIL's and Medical Professionals are human and can be wrong, let prayer be your guide and the right things for your and your baby will fall in to place.

I hope all goes well.

[meg]

I think that b/f is a wonderful thing if it is working. I also think that a mum who is coping is a wonderful thing too :wink:.

Personally, I know of very, very few mums for whom b/f came naturally without any difficulties at all. Every mum is different and every baby is different.

With my first, we had 2 weeks where I'd cry with every feeding because it hurt so much. Then, through a wonderful, wonderful early childhood nurse, we got the hang of it. With my second son, he latched on straight away and nursed for 20 minutes in the delivery room :shock: That boy still loves his food :lol:

I know it can be hard, but try not to let other people's expectations (or other people's regrets of what they wish they had done) overwhelm you. If you want to try b/f when this baby arrives, try it. Get some advice from the lactation consultant at the hospital and think of it as quiet time with your new babe. If it works - wonderful. If it doesn't, your baby will still be fed and held and loved :D

[tracy]

A novel sized book and a pushy mil! I feel edgy!
The book should be used as a resource so put it aside for now. Relax. Look into finding a good LC, maybe even now to make sure you're on the same page.
I sympathize with you about the mil. I am always hearing about food and what I should be feeding her... It can be really hard to stand my ground. She knows now (after many months) that I won't budge, but she still says, "Well, I'm entitled to my opinion." I have learned to pray and bite my tonge. I pretty much don't say anything when she starts again (which is everytime I talk to her).
Breastfeeding doesn't just happen, it takes work in the beginning and can be very tiring, but so worth it. I encourage you to try it. Remember to relax, though.
For now, let mil know where you stand and try to let it go. ENJOY your pregnancy! :D

[Rach]

BF twins is really hard. I am totally pro BF and I have had friends with twins who I encouraged to do formula. They tried for a bit to BF and pump and everything, and it didn't last long, and I signed up for formula coupons and everything for them to help buy the formula. It was just too much with everything else going on.

I nursed all 3 of my boys until they self weaned. It was not a natural instinct. I had an awesome support network, and it made all the difference. In the beginning, I constantly had questions, needed a hug, or an encouraging word. As I got more experience, it got a lot easier. If you want to try again, give it at least 4 months. I think you'll really enjoy it.

[Godzgirl]

So glad this post was posted! I was going to give up breastfeeding altogether but have decided to give it a try again. :wink: I know it's only been like a week :lol: but this time around breastfeeding has been so tough. With my daughter it came so easy. I didn't breastfeed right away because i wasn't able to but when i did she latched on right away and it was smooth sailing. This time it wasn't. My nipples have been so sore and cracking that i actually have had to supplement with formula as i take breaks inbetween. I also started pumping but my milk supply is going low so that is why i was going to give up. But hearing you ladies stories has inspired me and i'm going to give it another shot. :wink: I see that every child is different was just thinking it was going to be easier since i had done it before :roll: but oh well. Hopefully i will be able to breastfeed again.

[AmyB]

There is something you can get for your nipples. It will help them heal and ease the pain, plus it won't harm the baby...couldn't remember, but looked it up. Lanolin ointment. Your own breastmilk is suppose to help heal it too, but if I remember correctly, the Lanolin I was given worked better.

You can read about my horrible experience with breastfeeding in the Poll post. But I only breastfed for two days. And pumped what little I could get for three weeks and then gave up altogether.

This time I plan to breastfeed too but I now know about all the help I can get from a LC and the LLL. And I am going to be requesting that I don't have the same midwife I did last time. She was hopeless.

I had cracked and bleeding nipples by day two. Even with nipple shields it was still too painful. And Abby wasn't latching on right from day one.

There is a book by the La Leche League called "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding". It's not a huge manual thing. I am planning to get it before Sophie is due.
And some other mothers have suggested Lansinoh for the cracked nipples. But I can't find it here in NZ. It is just pure lanolin though and we have PureLan which I guess is the same thing? But it comes in such a small tube. And it is $11.50. I am apprehensive about getting it because what if it doesn't help? It's expensive for such a small tube IMO

I hope I have better success this time :(

P.S. As for your MIL... tell her to mind her own. It is up to you in the end. I had my mother and father on my back when I gave up on breastfeeding Abby. My dad even emailed me this article about all the benefits of breastfeeding ... something like 22 reasons to breastfeed. It did nothing but upset and anger me. :cry: :evil: You know what I did? I bolded every single thing that I disagreed with (so if there was something on the list that I had problems with like bladder infections I bolded it and then put underneath... I had bladder infections and I was fully breastfed).
They soon got the message. Actually my sister was formula fed and I was breastfed. And we both have all the same health problems like bladder infections. So I really think that linking them to formula feeding is just wrong. Because I think it has more to do with genetics than which way they were fed. :roll:

Thank you ladies for all your kind and encouraging words. At least I know I did try first time round and that a lot of people struggle, so it was not unusual (even with twins).

It certainly gives me more food for thought and not just the voice of fear speaking to me and nagging MILs LOL.

I will put the book away because it has the kind of advice someone should probably only look up in the index if they are actually having problems! Besides all the drawings of the women in the book look like neanderthals. LOL ( it is a very old book).

thanks everyone

[tracy]

FYI I just looked at www.medela.com and clicked on online advice. There's an LC that you can email ?s or join an online chat. Don't know about it, but Medela products are suppose to be good.
And some other mothers have suggested Lansinoh for the cracked nipples. But I can't find it here in NZ. It is just pure lanolin though and we have PureLan which I guess is the same thing? But it comes in such a small tube. And it is $11.50.
Lansinoh and PureLan are the same. It is expensive, but you should only use a small amount at a time. When you deliver, see if the hospital will give you a couple of sample tubes. This may be enough and you may not have to pay for it. Also, some hospitals will have shells or soothies. Just ask. I had an infection and used Caproyl oil. It was suppose to sooth/heal and it was safe for her.

You know I don't know why they don't try to encourage breastfeeding more... we get this Bounty pack when we deliver in the hospital and there is absolutely nothing in it to help with breastfeeding. They should put a small tube of PureLan and some disposable breastfeeding pads in there. What do you think? And some info on breastfeeding.

[mom n luv]

Just a quick note on Lanisoh and purelan. Lanolin really aggravates my eczema so the nurses at the hospital gave chapstick or cherry chapstick. It works really well to ease the cracking and much cheaper.

[Kerina]

You know I don't know why they don't try to encourage breastfeeding more... we get this Bounty pack when we deliver in the hospital and there is absolutely nothing in it to help with breastfeeding. They should put a small tube of PureLan and some disposable breastfeeding pads in there. What do you think? And some info on breastfeeding.

Formula companies give hospitals money and free samples to get moms hooked on their brand. They even supply the teaching materials on breastfeeding to many hospitals. Why else do you hear probably half of moms say they didn't make enough milk, even though only about 1 percent of all breastfeeding moms don't ? It's because the nurses learned that it was a common problem by watching a formula company- produced breastfeeding video. The nurses then tell this to moms. Very very brilliant...devious...but brilliant. Although, I should add that our hospital gave a little breastfeeding pamphlet and had good lactation consultants. The nurses were no help in that area, though.

BTW, the pediatricians in our clinic wear polo shirts with enfamil logos. And what brand do you think they push???

Sorry to get a litte sidetracked. I'm very passionate about God's perfect food!!

[Crissyanna]

I plan on b/f the baby. I ended up signing up for a class through my hospital. I figure it should be interesting. I love going in with questions to refute their facts and stuff. I believe our hosptals around here give out the enfamil welcome packs. Hmm, I wonder what they end up trying to push in the end?

Right now my plans are to ecologically b/f the baby. From what I have read, this is the best way to go. At least for me (for the info I have read, check the Couple to Couple League. I am not an expert in this, so I don't want to go and start saying stuff and then have to retract it later. I am still learning all this, and probably will be when I have our last one, whenever that may be). I am also hoping to find an LLL chapter around here. Guess it is time to start searching.

Well, time for me to go and get a snack. The Snookie is hungry.

Crystal

[justmeNmine]

You have probably read somewhere, but I figure I'd mention that skipping washing of your nipples will help with the dryness/cracks that can occur; it has something to do with the natural oil produced while your breastfeeding. Also, while you're still pregnant, "roughing" the nipples with a washcloth (wet and/or dry) seems to help when it comes time to feed. Both of my babies did well breastfeeding, but I gave up with my daughter after a couple weeks for selfish reasons. I think part of the problem (what makes it so hard) is all the input and stress put on expectant mothers about what they're planning to feed their babies. I think someone else said Thank God we have options! Best wishes in whatever you decide.

[soulmom]

i had read that about not washing the nipples, but i read just the opposite about "roughing up" the nipples while you are pregnant, mostly because nipple stimulation can cause the uterus to contract and possible bring on early labor.

Thanks for the info.
I will ask the hospital about the PureLan. They probably don't have any samples though. They were supposedly "breastfeeding friendly" but didn't really offer much help at all. My midwife was always busy and running all over the place so she wasn't around to help me with breastfeeding very much. And she had never breastfed herself (didn't have any kids).
I have bought that book "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" by the LLL. I should have it by the weekend hopefully.
I'm going to get all the help I need this time! If I have to go to LLL meetings and get help from a LC so be it.

We get the baby bounty bag in Australia and there is a tube of nipple cream in there and some nursing pads. Actually I never got one from my obstetrician yet, so I am wondering if the midwife will give it to me next week when I see her.

There is lots of support for b/f infact you are frowned upon if you don't. There are always huge campaigns to encourage women to B/F and posters EVERY where about B/F. Mind you when I came to the end of myself in hospital with the twins and trying to B/F and said I just could not do it anymore the midwife was very supportive (infact there were 4 other twin Mum's in hospital and only ONE of them was still trying to B/F)

The lactation nurse came in and just said "Oh you aren't b/f - that's okay" smiled and left. I guess theyget less heated and more understanding when it is two babies.

You are the public's breasts when you have a baby LOL.

We get the baby bounty bag in Australia and there is a tube of nipple cream in there and some nursing pads. Actually I never got one from my obstetrician yet, so I am wondering if the midwife will give it to me next week when I see her.

There is lots of support for b/f infact you are frowned upon if you don't.

It sounds like there is more support in Australia. I don't know... I didn't get anything in my Bounty pack for breastfeeding. My midwife didn't even suggest PureLan when I told her my nipples were really sore, cracked and bleeding. She just suggested nipple shields. Which didn't help at all. The midwife never said I could call LLL or get help from a LC or anything.
I got some grief from my mother and father and great auntie and one of my ex workmates... but other than that no one said anything. It was only my mum and dad who said I should keep trying and who sent me this email about 22 benefits of breastfeeding. My great auntie just said "you might find that your milk has come in now, if you still want to breastfeed". She didn't even know the whole story... she just assumed I wasn't breastfeeding because I didn't have any milk or something. :roll: And my ex workmate just said that I should have stayed in the hospital longer so I could get bfing established but I actually left because I wasn't happy there and wasn't getting any help in bfing. I was better off going home because I was absolutely miserable and the stress/upset was only making things worse for me and Abby.
None of my midwives made me feel bad for not continuing.

[tracy]

I don't feel there's much b/fing support here either, though I wish there was. I sometimes feel like an outcast because I do b/f. We don't get bounty packs, we get diaper bags with some formula name on them and formula in them. (Similar items from our ped.) I'm shocked at how distant your midwives sounded. I thought they were suppose to be more supportive. Anyway, here's another way to get support. Our county health dept provides WIC (Women, Infants, & Children) where you can get b/fing info/assist and possibly free samples of PurLan...

Yeah it's no good here... Mind you I had a look at the Plunket charts and the number of breastfeeding mothers over the last year or two seems to be good.. .higher than that of formula feeding mothers. So I don't know... Maybe it's just this area.

BTW We are in New Zealand so we don't have WIC here. :lol: