It seems like every time my daughter is with my MIL, my MIL brings crackers as a snack! My daughter has some minor dental problems, and crackers aren't the best snacks for promoting dental health. Crackers (particularly non-whole grain ones, like my MIL gives out) are also not high in nutrients, and my daughter is on the small side, so I try my best to get as much high nutrient foods in her as possible.

My MIL is a wonderful grandma and I don't want to upset her or make her mad, but is there any easy, healthier snacks that I could encourage her to bring or give her to keep at her house for my DD?

I have talked to her some about giving healthier snacks and she seems to mentally assent but is definitely stuck in the cracker rut.

Should I just leave a bag of snacks for Hannah at her house when she watches her? Any other good suggestions?

I would suggest that Hannah give her the "snacks" you prefer her to have. So, yes, send them w/ her.
Have you told MIL what you have told us? About the dental issues? It can be hard. I'm sure she also loves Hannah very much & want's to "help" protect her teeth. You may approach her that way (like she is helping you help Hannah) If not maybe should would like to go along the next time Hannah has to get a feeling in her tooth.(so she can see for herself)

I vote for sending some snacks along. Makes it nice and easy for your MIL.

Also, just phrase it in a way that makes her part of the team- "We're trying to encourage Hannah's growth, so we're trying to stick with as many high-nutrient foods as possible....if you could use these snacks, that would be such a big help! Thank you so much!"

Good luck, sweetie!

[lovesign]

Does she know that crackers aren't healthy? I mean, I would have thought they were... did until I read your post! LOL.

So I'm trying to think like your mil here (without knowing her of course), and thinking, Ruth likes Hannah to have healthy snacks, well I have crackers, those would be better than cookies. My ds loved crackers as a kid, I bet Hannah will too...

I would send the snacks with her that you would like her to eat. How often is she there though? If she isn't there very much, I wouldn't worry about it, a few crackers occasionally aren't going to be that bad are they? But if she is there a lot, then I would send the snacks, or ask mil if she wants to go shopping with you or baking or something so that she can see the stuff that you get for Hannah and where it is. If she doesn't eat like you, then she might not even know where to find it.

Ditto the above.

And rave about how Hannah likes x snack, as you bring them.
"Look at these (in your big surprised, 'oh how cool' voice)...we found these a while back and Hannah just LOVES them to snack on at home. I thought I'd bring a bag for you to keep here for her as well. So she'd have some of her favorites when she comes to visit." And you can even 'sneak' in there how they are 'whole-grain' 'healthy' or what have ya ;)

How often is she there though?
Usually, MIL sees her several times a week. If it were once every blue moon, I wouldn't really care, as a little bit of not as healthy food every now and then isn't going to hurt her, but several times a week has me concerned, especially as a couple of those times are rather extended. (Evening babysitting)

MIL has worked hard to try to change her eating habits to lose weight, but I agree with you, I don't think that she realizes that processed non-whole grain crackers aren't the best snack to give out on a regular basis.

Slowly and surely, I'm trying to educate her....

Thanks ladies, all of you! You're the best! I belong to another forum and I posted about this and basically, most people told me that I was overreactive and to chill out, a bit of less than healthy food a few times a week wouldn't hurt my daughter. Thanks for being supportive and answering my actual question, instead of criticizing! :D :D

I was thinking once a week or something, and was going to say don't worry about it, that's what grandma's are for, but if she's keeping her enough to be considered part of the "primary caregiver" group, that's different.

Just send them, and let her know that Hannah likes those really well, and you know how the whole-grain, natural stuff is so expensive, and didn't want her (mil) to be out the cash, so you brought some along for her while she's there.

I guess I'm a little more blunt - I would simply ask her to only give her the snacks that I've brought for her.. I would say "I prefer you not give her those crackers..here is some she can have" & had her the bag..
But, I have a good relationship with my MIL & she is not easily offended & very respectful of how I parent.

Anyway, I'm surprised at how some people think we should just let other family members give our kids what they want & not question it.. I'm sorry those were the responses you got from another board.

If she likes the crackers for ease...maybe buy a couple of boxes of the whole grain or veggie crackers....easy and no mess, but they have good nutritional value compared to the others! Just push the teeth issue...our oldest son is 4 and just had oral surgery...his teeth didn't form with the correct enamel on them...so we have to be careful what we give him too. Do anything you need to avoid 6,000.00 in dental work...TRUST ME!!

I guess I'm a little more blunt - I would simply ask her to only give her the snacks that I've brought for her.. I would say "I prefer you not give her those crackers..here is some she can have" & had her the bag..
But, I have a good relationship with my MIL & she is not easily offended & very respectful of how I parent.

Anyway, I'm surprised at how some people think we should just let other family members give our kids what they want & not question it.. I'm sorry those were the responses you got from another board.

I'm more blunt too:-D

This sitch happens alot with the in-laws with us. I usually do something like this:

I see MIL giving the boys KoolAid singles. I walk on over to MIL, and say something like "That's so nice of you to give the boys something fun to drink! They look like they're really loving it. Could you not give them KoolAid singles next time though? We don't let them have anything with sucralose or Splenda or Aspartame and such because it's really not very healthy. They love juice though! There are a ton of 100% juice boxes and pouches out there that they just love if you want to give them something special. Honestly though, we'd prefer they drink alot of water instead, and they do love it."

I constantly have to steer MIL away from treats that have tons of preservatives and or artificial sweeteners, or even regular sugar in mass quantities, like those little boxes of "sugar with cereal added". I try to be straightforward with her, and just nicely tell her that for the next time, we'd like her to give things like "XYZ" instead of "ZYX" because it's healthier.

Now with my own mom, I've tried being blunt, and she just doesn't get it. I honestly have to contradict her in public to my kids when she gives them some things and tries to say they're "healthy" because they have real butter and eggs in them, lol. She's tried to tell my kids that cookies WERE healthy treat because of that very reason. To which I responded to my kids, in front of her, that homemade cookies do have some good things in them, and they taste good, but that too many aren't healthy at all. I have to actually tell my own kids not to listen to Grandma about food, lol.

DUh...I made that long post and forgot my point.

Anyway, I suggest going with a gentle, loving, but blunt explanation of what snacks are ok with you and your dh and what aren't, and why. Get specific, and spell it all out. Let her know you really appreciate her giving your dd snacks too.

If you don't spell it out clearly and give her a list of what's ok with you, you'll be fighting this issue all the time, and trying to beat around the bush and let her know without coming right out and telling her for fear you'll offend her.

Pray first, and then just try to be clear and appreciative of her efforts while still spelling it all out for her. Make her a list of stuff if you think that will help.