So, I guess we are really having a hard time since I have become so sick in this pregnancy.

My husband is now saying that he doesn't want to have any more children after this (this is our first) because he doesn't like me being sick like this.

I'm really struggling with this because it really breaks my heart and hurts me that he would say something like this. We've talked before and had the same desires for children.

I mean, I wanted a lot of children, like maybe 6 and he was more wanting like 2. So we agreed that we would compromise with 3 or 4 however the Lord blesses us.

I'm just really heart broken and wondering what's happening to the man I married? We have not found a church in this town yet and my husband is having to work every sunday at his new job. So, that just makes eveything much more difficult.

I'm just overwhelmed and really saddened by him saying that.

My mom says "oh well he'll forget after the baby is here." But then I asked him about it and he was like, "yeah, I don't want any more". He said we could do something different like adopt. And I suppose in the long run I would be willing to compromise. I'm just really hurt in this.

Anyway. I appreciate any advice or just any prayers! Thanks!

[praywhensad]

Have peace... God will put in your hearts what He wants for you both.... You will see when your baby is born (I am expecting my first one too and I know this will happen to us too) that ... all the sickness and "bad memories" will be "removed" and there will be so much joy, happiness and love that you will both want more!

:D

Right now is just a stage that is not so enjoyable for some women...

(like it happened to me)

I will be praying for you! [praying]

:D

Paloma.

Just give it some time, you are very early in your pregnancy and hopefully the sickness will go away in a few weeks. Once that baby is here, give it some time and he will grow to forget how sick you were. Besides, not every pregnancy is the same and you may not be sick like this in the future. Right now try not to let it worry you. That plus pregnancy hormones can do a number on your emotions. I wouldn't even mention another child until after you have this one.

It is hard for them to watch us go through that. Men sometimes don't know how to deal with it, it's out of their control and they can't do anything about it. I wouldn't push the issue to much now, there is some truth to what your mom is saying. Remind him that every pregnancy is NOT the same. I was severely sick with my first pregnancy and didn't have but a bit of nausea with my last pregnancy.

I would just enjoy your pregnancy, get through having the babe and then go from there, don't stress over future children just yet. Being pregnant makes you more emotionally charged anyways, it's not the best time to worry and debate about such issues. Don't let it get you down. DH was the same way as far as watching me go through labor, now HE is the one wanting to conceive another. LOL

Hang in there, I do pray you get peace over this.

Jessy

My DH was the same way. It is only because he cared about me and couldn't stand seeing me sick that he said that. it did upset me but I just asked him nicely to not talk about it. I said "this is very emotional for both of us and I think we should discuss it later after the baby is older so we don't make a rash decision based on emotions." He was ok with that but would bring it up still sometimes and I would just remind him that we were going to discuss it later and make decisions later AFTER our baby was old enough to even think about possibly having another.

Awww... ya... just like Jessy said guys just don't really know what to do with an over-emotional, over-tired, over-sick wife. Guys like to solve problems and this is one that cannot be resolved with their help. I'm positive he's just reacting because he doesn't know what else to do... or say.

You never know, he may be experiencing some feelings about something that you haven't gotten to the bottom of yet. I know that my hubby felt a really strong sense of not being able to provide for our family when I was pregnant with my first. That's a huge thing for a man because God built them to be the provider. When there's insecurities about that it leads to a lot of insecurity and "lashing out". Maybe you just need to have a heart to heart with him about HIS feelings?? Do you feel comfortable doing that? Make sure it's at a time when you're not in a super emotional state... which I understand is rarely EVER when your preggos. haha.

Laura

~*Hugs*~ & ~* Prayers*~ to you.

Sweetie, I wouldn't worry about it. I had a horrible pregnancy with a debilitating skin rash and my hubby was talking about not having more then. Then, when that baby was over 1 1/2 years old, we were going forward with having another one...then he felt some issues had come up and he wanted to wait a little longer.

So we waited a little longer...and then not too long after, DH said that he was fine with having another one. So anyway, we went ahead, and not long after got a positive test....:D and am now 8 weeks pregnant. :D :D :D

Just give him time...he'll be doting all over your new baby and wanting another one!

My dh is the same way. He doesn't like it when I'm preggo. I actually throw up so it's not a fun 4 or 5 months. He doesn't find me sexy when I'm large and obviously pregnant. So, yeah, I know what you're going through. I think it's easier for moms to 'get over it' after the baby comes. But my dh remembers these things very well. God will show you His will...eventually. Trust Him.

We have 2 kids and my dh doesn't want anymore either. It hurts my heart to think about that. So, I don't.

Thank you guys so much!

I really appreciate (and needed) the encouragement. I think you are all right, and the best thing to do is just focus on today and go through this pregnancy together.

We can cross the bridge of more children later when that is really something that needs to be addressed, but right now we need to focus on this season and on strengthening our marriage before the baby comes.

Its so helpful to be able to come here and get some healthy feedback and not just run on my crazy emotions!!

After reading your replies I also talked to my husband a little more with less emotion and just explained to him that that really hurt me that he said that, and I think we are just not going to talk about that stuff until it is truly an issue at hand.

You guys are all such a blessing! Thanks for your encouragement!