Bobert is 3 and he wants to play soccer. He begged me for a long time, months on end, so I signed him up for it and now every time we get to a practice or a game, he is mush. He sits, lays down, 'hides' when the coach tries to talk to him. I don't know what to do. I tried being positive. I tried getting there early to let him have time to warm up, and today I yelled at him. Nothing is working.

He plays all the time with his older brother and has been to countless games, and he is actually very good at soccer for a 3 year old. Aiden said to me today, "I thought Robert was gonna be awesome but he really stunk."

Help!

Not that I can offer any sage advice Rach but maybe talk to the coach, see what he thinks. Its okay to pull them out if it is really affecting him, maybe try again next year when he is a year older. Don't pressure, I know you realize that too.

I know my daughter at 3 says and does totally different things. Like seeing a relative we haven't seen in ages how she says that she is going to run and hug them, when the time comes she hides behind me cowering. Life and emotions is so confusing for them at 3, so much more is actually involved with the actual happening that it is overwhelming to them. I guess this is where we as parents learn from our child just how much to push and how much not to push by gaging their reactions.

Like I said I would talk to the coach and see his/her take on the situation.

From talking to other mothers of pre-schoolers, I think that this is really common behavior with group activities. I have spoken to friends who take their daughters to dance classes. It seems that it is not unusual for them to be very reluctant to join in for many weeks before feeling comfortable enough in the new situation. It can be very overwhelming for them to be in a situation where there are lots of people and they are expected to perform in some way. However, they love it once they finally get up the confidence to join in. Even some of the most confident pre-schoolers can react this way. If he is still keen to go (and you have the patience for it) I see no harm in persisting. If it is causing him (or you) too much distress, maybe you should hold off until he is a little bit older. I would just try to be as relaxed as possible about it at this age - no need to hurry it.

My 4 year old was really keen on being a hip hop dancer - so I took him to a local pre-school hip hop class. He wouldn't join in either and I am finding it difficult to measure his enthusiasm as it waxes and wanes (I don't think that it turned out to be quite what he expected - he didn't realise that you have to start with the basics). I am definately not going to push the issue if it turns out that he is not keen anymore. But there is something to be said for persisting if you think that it is something that he will really enjoy once he feels comfortable. Just be prepared for some waiting on the sidelines for a while if you decide to do this.

I would probably stop and try again in a year or two. He may feel overwhelmed. I think developmentally that 3 is just too small, especially if he isn't joining in the group.

My ds at 3 would love soccer too!!! It doesn't start until 5 here. :-( Anyway, how many weeks has it been? Maybe you could 'help' coach for a rpactice or two to help your son feel comfortable?

If you think he's traumatized by being there, then I'd just stop going, but if he's just being reluctant, I'd keep taking him and encouraging him to join in. Both of my kids have begged to be in this or that, and when we can accommodate, we sign them up. It never fails that at one point, they beg to not go or just don't seem as excited about it as they were before it all began, but that doesn't cut it with me. I don't want my kids to think they can drop out if something seems a bit challenging or they don't feel like it, so I make them stick with it (not to mention these classes aren't free!). Now, if they were hysterically crying or something, that'd be another story. One time I signed both kids up for swim lessons (Charlotte was 2.5 and Eric was 5). Charlotte went to classes on the first and last day, lol. She just wasn't ready, but I figured she'd have a fit if her brother was swimming and she wasn't. Bad call on my part.)