Teens Bedtimes?

[Reneemomto5]

With my 15.5 year old its TV off by 9 and he can read till 10. With my almost 13 year old I am thinking of letting him do the same this year.

With the others its TV off 9 read till 9:30. (during the summer they have all been a 10 bedtime though no problems). This is more for the schooling year.

Anyway hubby sometimes says the older boys esp. my oldest should be allowed to be up later. But to me I think 10 is plenty. Hubby is gentle he just throws a "he should be allowed to be up a little longer." out there sometimes.

What are your times?

[JoyLynn]

Let's see here...

On school days, the kids get up at eight. Sometimes my two teens (13 and 15) want to get up a bit earlier, but the rule for me is, the teens need nine hours of sleep, and the younger ones need ten hours.

I have them all in bed at 9:00 (school days). Chloe' ( 8 ) reads until 9:30 or 10:00, until she can't keep her eyes open any longer, and she sleeps straight through until 8:00 then next morning. Courtney (11) reads until 10:00, but will sometimes beg me to allow her to read for another half hour to hour. I usually say it's okay, but only because I've never seen her tired or moody the next day. She doesn't ask to stay up later very often. Scotty and Carissa read until 11:00. Sometimes they beg me to allow them to read until midnight, and I pretty much always say yes, but that I'd better not see them moody the next day, and they have to be up by 8:00, NOT 8:01! :lol: Again, they don't ask all that often. Seems to only happen when they can't put their books down toward the end, or something like that.

On the weekends, I allow the kids to watch movies in their rooms (in bed) until midnight, but the rule is, they still need to get enough sleep; teens sleep for nine hours from the time the t.v. goes off, and the younger ones need to keep their eyes closed for ten hours. I also have a rule that they aren't allowed to fall asleep in front of their movies. If I need to go in and turn their t.v.'s off because they've fallen asleep, it means one of two things... One: they're too tired and shouldn't be staying up so late.. or Two: they're not being responsible with their t.v.'s, so maybe they aren't ready to take that on at this time. heehee! That last one really gets them. 'Oh, no, Mommy... I'll be SURE to turn off my movie tonight! I PROMISE!' :lol:

Renee', I'd just decide how many hours you feel your kids need each night, what time you need them up by, and count backward to find your bedtimes. I'm sure you've already done this. ;-) When you're trying to homeschool, it's so important to have rested children; don't you think? If your older kids aren't showing signs of fatigue or brain fade during the day, they *may* be okay with a little less sleep. I think, on average, adults should be getting 8 to 9 hours of sleep, and some need more.

[lovingsmiley]

Joy [welcomewave]

[Reneemomto5]

Joy, really thanks for your reply. I can't tell you how much just knowing what others do helps me as a parent.

I can see I need to let up on the reins a little. My kids get PLENTY of sleep I realize when counting the hours. Though my second son (almost 13) needs a lot of sleep or he is a bear. And my 8.5 year old needs bare minimal, sometimes it seems he needs none. I guess this year letting bedtimes go longer is in order.

With our crazy working/family schedule we are night owls anyway. Hubby works long, late hours hence its good for the kids to sleep in a bit as to not wake daddy.

Its nice figuring this out before school takes place. I thrive with routine and knowing what I need to do before hand. I think I'll do my girl first, let the others awake and go down the line from youngest to oldest instead of lights out all at once.

Thanks dear friend, goodness Joy you are always so sweet.

[gamommyto4girls]

I find all my kids need different amounts of sleep. My 10yo actually needs more than her 12yo or 6yo sisters. During the summer I allow them to pretty much set their own bedtime. Usually it's between 9-9:30 for the 6 and 10 yo, but often quite a bit later, 10:30-11 for my 12yo. She knows that she can't watch cable or use the internet once we go to bed (usually around 10pm), but she is free to stay up and read, journal, etc.

During the school year I am much more stringent. We do 8:30 for the 6yo and to the bedroom for the olders at 9pm, though they can have lights on to read/study until 9:30.

HTH

[Reneemomto5]

Thanks Beth. I was lumping them all together, just trying to get the hours needed and each one is so different in sleep like you stated.

My routine sounded a lot like your with schooling all the time and I can see I need to change things a little.

Thanks!

[luvmy4sons]

Well...don't be too shocked. But this summer my older boys have been staying up till 12 or 1 AM. My younger two sometimes till 12 AM. If we don't have anywhere to go the next day then I let them sleep until 10 AM. It is hard for me to do that as I get up and am ready to go.

During the school year bed time is typically between 9 and 10 PM. Definitely 9 if I want them up at 7...but typically I don't get them up till 8 AM depending on the day.

MY HUSBAND says that after 16 they should go to bed whenever they want. My mother's heart doens't always agree...I usually try to remind them of things going on the next day etc....but I HAVE found that as usual there is more to hubby's opinion than meets the eye. They eventually do adjust their schedule to more reasonable hours if I just let them be. I think part of the fun is staying up when you should be in bed. If no one cares when you go to bed, eventually the fatigue of too many late nights gets them to set a better schedule.

During the school year though that isn't an option...hubby would never send them to bed. But I do! LOL!

[Reneemomto5]

Thanks Leslie! I appreciate your experience a lot. I can see like I wrote earlier I definitely need to ease up a bit. I never asked hubby his reasonings except he states the older they get they should be allowed later bedtimes. And I see he is right. But with schooling I will take things in a tad like I did before just not as extreme. I'll shot for 10 for schooling.

My hubby is sooo laid back, and I am sooo schedule minded. In our case opposites did attract.

Thanks again all of you for taking the time to respond.

[Cheeseburger]

Well...don't be too shocked. But this summer my older boys have been staying up till 12 or 1 AM. My younger two sometimes till 12 AM.


Well I don't have teens, but I have to say this is the first answer that didn't shock me, lol. I had no idea teens that old should even have a bedtime, so this whole thread is like news to me. Guess I'll deal with that when my kids get there. LOL

[JoyLynn]

I know how weird it sounds, Nichole. [whatwacko] I think I would have felt the same way before I had kids or when mine were still really young. Keep in mind my kids do stay up until midnight or so when there's no school the next day, so it's not like they're going to bed super early, either. :-D

Here's the thing... Speaking for my kids.. They are sooo mild mannered and calm all the time. No fighting, no arguing, no tears.. They love school and even take out their schoolwork on their own at some point on the days they have off. [read] THEN, one night, we'll be out extra late, or a kidlet is having trouble sleeping for one reason or another, and all of a sudden, I have a 15 yr old tearing up because he doesn't understand his math, [sadashamed] or an 11 yr old tearing up because she bumped her elbow on a door jam.. [crybawl] or, I have girls whining because they suddenly can't decide who should be allowed to take their shower first. [crwy] We'll go months with nothin' but smooth sailing, and all of a sudden, we're all on the verge of tears. :roll: How many ways can you spell early to bed tonight? LOL! :lol:

I know so many people who say 'my kid doesn't need much sleep' who deal with grumpy kids all day and believe it's just normal. Maybe for them it always will be the norm, but if I were them, I'd try adjusting the kids' sleeping and eating schedule to see if that makes a difference. For mine, not getting enough sleep is enough to throw them off for the day. Maybe not in a huge way, but definitely noticeable. :???: And, being that I'm the one who needs to sit there and teach them, [teach] I have huge vested interest in how they behave and how focused they are. If it didn't make a difference, I wouldn't care in the least. I love staying up late, [OK] and the kids are so good, [halo] I wouldn't mind one bit if they stayed up as late I as do. More time for learning and fun. [claploud] Doesn't seem to work well for us, though. [thumbsdown] The wheels fall off when they're short on sleep. [whatsmack]

Anyway, in the end, we all need to do what works best for our families. What works for one child, may not work at all for the next. I wouldn't presume to know what'll work best for someone's else's kids. A mommy really does know what's best for her kids. [lovesmile]

As for our schedules, I don't stick to them to be rigid. I just do what brings about the desired results for my family.. same as everyone else. [lovesmile]

[loveyousparkles], my friend!

Joy [welcomewave]

[Donna B.]

Wow...ok..I have just realized that I have been too strict. I have a 10 and 13 year old, and I pretty much think they should have lights out by 10:30 this summer. It's 9AM and they are still sleeping. If they stayed up til Midnight I would be afraid of when they would rise. I have mild mannered boys (usually) and they don't fight me when I say lights off ( and electronics too..often they have their gameboys on). Am I the only shelfish one that puts them in their rooms so I can finally have some peace and quiet? Or maybe I should just put me in my own room!

[luvmy4sons]

Donna that is so funny. Hubby told me one night when I was pushing for them to go to bed that I should just go to bed. I got some ear plugs and now I do! I just go to bed! Last night they were up till 2:30 AM! AAARGH! I went to bed at 10:30...awoke when they were all going to the bathroom etc...When school is in it's a little different though...10:30-11:00 is the latest...even if I am for 9:30! LOL! :-D

[Reneemomto5]

Well I don't have teens, but I have to say this is the first answer that didn't shock me, lol. I had no idea teens that old should even have a bedtime, so this whole thread is like news to me. Guess I'll deal with that when my kids get there. LOL


Cheese out of curiosity at what age do you think bedtimes should stop?

And I agree with everything and all of what you said Joy. I am the children's teacher, mother, care giver and when things are out of keel its usually related to sleep. Plus my sanity does mean something! If I had kids up all night it would affect my other children simply because of our living arrangement. I try to do best by all the children and it requires give and take from everyone and reading in bed till a certain time seems to have solved that.

I had bedtimes growing up, the same as my children and routine was important than too. Though my parents were even more strict than I.

I appreciated routine, I believe children thrive with routine, love and discipline. I was just wondering when I should let up a little so they learn a little on their own.

[Rach]

Teenagers' brains have different rhythms than younger children. Sleep studies have shown that teens can't fall asleep much before 11pm anyway, so I don't see the sense in an early bedtime. I love the idea of having a time to get in bed, then reading time. My parents had a bedtime for me, then I would read, sometimes with a flashlight. It just helped me calm down and helped me go to sleep.

There has been some debate in the educational community to have teens start school later so they can get their 9 hours of sleep. Some schools start at 7:15am! Ours starts at 7:45. Crazy! However, that won't happen because of after school sports and work. The schools that did use the later start times reported more positive outlooks and better moods, and better grades... perhaps it's not that they are horrible teens with angst, just sleep deprived???

[Madre]

Les, we go to bed before they do, too. I must admit, though, I keep an ear open. :-D

Rach, our high school starts shortly after seven now. While getting out earlier is a plus, it's a real bear to get to school that early. :neutral:

[Reneemomto5]

Teenagers' brains have different rhythms than younger children. Sleep studies have shown that teens can't fall asleep much before 11pm anyway, so I don't see the sense in an early bedtime. I love the idea of having a time to get in bed, then reading time. My parents had a bedtime for me, then I would read, sometimes with a flashlight. It just helped me calm down and helped me go to sleep.

There has been some debate in the educational community to have teens start school later so they can get their 9 hours of sleep. Some schools start at 7:15am! Ours starts at 7:45. Crazy! However, that won't happen because of after school sports and work. The schools that did use the later start times reported more positive outlooks and better moods, and better grades... perhaps it's not that they are horrible teens with angst, just sleep deprived???

Thank you Rach for that info. I told the kids earlier today their bedtimes moved to 10 for the 13 year old, and 10:30 for my other son. Knowing it takes the half an hour to actually fall asleep.

That info you posted interests me as far as our homeschooling hours, initially our starting hours, hmm very interesting we start 9 or 9:30 and I have success with this as opposed to an earlier time.

Thanks again!

[JoyLynn]

we start 9 or 9:30 and I have success with this as opposed to an earlier time.

Thanks again!

Same here! We start school at ten, after the house is cleaned (top to bottom, as I always say :razz: ). However, my older kids sometimes ask if they can get up earlier (at seven) so they can get a jump start on some of their schoolwork for that day. They like the quiet, alone time, and sometimes feel really motivated early in the day. BUT, overall, they still prefer to get up at eight and start school when all their day's work is behind them so they can focus on school alone. I've definitely noticed that when they have all chores and such out of the way, they're more excited about spending extra time researching (etc..) because they don't have other obligations they still need to tend to.

[lovesign]

Joy [welcomewave]

[Reneemomto5]

Same here!


[lovesign]

Joy [welcomewave]

Joy can I ask how many hours you school overall. I understand each day and week is so up and down but if you would have to estimate where are you. I know homeschooling topic but just curious and off topic.

We are at 5 hours for gr. 10, 7 and 3. 2 hours for my kinderg. I think I may need to modify a shorter day for my 3 grader who is very easily frustrated. But grr I have problems figuring out what to limit as all his subjects seem important.

I see our evaluator next week for an entire week. We work the same fair so I think I may pick her brain a bit since she is currently a 4th gr. teacher and taught lower grades as well.

[kanaclark]

Ya know, it may be the generation Nichole and I came from. I think we're within a year or two of each other, give or take. (how old are ya?)

But, honestly, in the summer, none of mine have bedtimes. Even the littles, but they tend to get tired around 9:30. With such a flexible schedule, the get the hours they need, but of course, they sleep in the next day. gabe will stay up reading or watching a video and then sleep until near lunch time. I'm ok with that. BUT, he knows that if he has one tablespoon of attitude he's back to bed. Regardless of time of day, or whatever else is going on.

During school, it's 9:00 all the way around. Gabe leaves for school at 7, so gets up at 6:25, and I'll start with bri at ten, so he'll get up around nine. Gives me time to work in the house and all that. Bri will have an hour in the morning (10-11) and then an hour after lunch (1-2)

[JoyLynn]

Renee, we're around five hours all around, give or take. But, we do have shorter, lighter days for all kinds of reasons (appointments or just cuz we have something more fun to do. :mrgreen:).

When all the kids were younger, we did more like three hours of school. I know it's odd, but it's pretty much always me who's feeling 'done' with school, calling it a day, and not the kids. They get into stuff toward the end of their school days and often don't feel like stopping. So, now that Scotty's and Carissa's days have become longer, the younger ones automatically keep going, as well. I didn't plan it that way, they just keep on going. I think they really motivate each other. Must be the reason. Me; I get fuzzy after about five hours [whatwacko] and end up jumping ship.[whatrunningscared]

[loveflag]

Joy [welcomewave]

[Cheeseburger]

Cheese out of curiosity at what age do you think bedtimes should stop?


Um... I dunno. I guess they should be pretty relaxed around 13, and then by 15 the kid should be functioning as a responsible "mini-adult" able to schedule their own sleep so they get enough. Don't really know, I could be insane. LOL. I would hope that by the time my kids are 16-18, they're able to basically function on their own as far as running their lives (like sleep schedules) so they aren't shell shocked at all the responsibility when they move out of the house. I don't really know what I'm talking about here though. I am still learning how to be an adult at 24. LOL!

That said, I'm terrible for bedtimes, I always have been. I'm a total night owl LOL.

Anyhow, check back with me in like 12 years and we'll see if I've changed my mind LOL!

[Reneemomto5]

Anyhow, check back with me in like 12 years and we'll see if I've changed my mind LOL!

Okay that's a deal. I understand what you are saying, and its different for my 15 year old than it is for my 3 year old. I don't sit at my oldest sons door tapping making sure he is asleep at an appointed time he just knows lights out tv off type of thing and well does whatever.

I am a firm believer in routine always have been, I believe it helps set the bodies clock. With our line of work, or college I am sure like anything they will learn to adapt if I haven't done it properly my kids are great that way, they by all means have contact with "the world" daily like few probably do here.

But I do also understand my views before teens is much different than now that I am "in the mist of it."

[Reneemomto5]

Me; I get fuzzy after about five hours [whatwacko] and end up jumping ship.[whatrunningscared]

[loveflag]

Joy [welcomewave]

Ha okay so that is not only something that I tend to do, how comforting! Brain mush. Yep that happens when also the day where it seems each child needs mom for some huge reason, explain a math new math concept etc. and I'm on overload all day, by hour 3 I cry "uncle".

[kanaclark]

Oh, sheesh, I cry uncle all the time, LOL

My kids are live wires, but I'm the one who needs close to 15 hours of sleep, LOL. If I had my way, I'd go to bed at 9 and sleep until like 11 or so.

[Donna B.]

it's 11pm and i just put my oldest two to bed...we'll see how tomorrow goes. I guess I"ll know if that was too late. WE were out celebrating a neighbors birthday so my oldest was babysitting. Generally, the two oldest stay up til we get home. This will be a good experiment. If they lose it easily tomorrow, after getting up early for church, I will know they need more sleep.

[krazee4jc]

when my older 3 were younger I had them in bed by 9pm but we just noticed the baby which is 11 is in bed by 10pm. The older ones tell her she gets away with way more then they did. I THINK IT'S TRUE :mrgreen: