kanaclark
07-08-2008, 11:38 PM
I couldn't resist. This is old, but so cute!!!
> The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher
>
>
>
> I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids
myself, but
> the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade
> classroom a few years back.
>
>
>
> When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions
> with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually,
show-and-tell
> is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of
fish
> they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or
> limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about
it,
> they're welcome.
>
>
>
> Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid,
> takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow
> stuffed under her sweater.
>
>
>
> She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother,
and
> I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'
>
>
>
> 'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad
put a
> seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine
months
> through an umbrella cord.'
>
>
>
> She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying
not to
> laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in
> amazement.
>
>
>
> 'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going,
'Oh, Oh, Oh,
> Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked
around the
> house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a
hysterical
> duck walk and groaning..)
>
>
>
> 'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she
doesn't have a
> sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in
bed
> like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall..)
>
>
>
> 'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case
he
> got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like
> psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming
water
> flowing away. It was too much!)
>
>
>
> 'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and
'breathe, breathe.
> They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden,
> out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it
> was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside
there.'
>
>
>
> Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.
I'm
> sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell
day,
> I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes
along.
>
>
>
> Now you have two choices...laugh and close this page or pass this along to
> someone else to spread the laughs. I know what I did!!!
>
>
>
> Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to make someone happy!
> The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher
>
>
>
> I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids
myself, but
> the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade
> classroom a few years back.
>
>
>
> When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions
> with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually,
show-and-tell
> is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of
fish
> they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or
> limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about
it,
> they're welcome.
>
>
>
> Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid,
> takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow
> stuffed under her sweater.
>
>
>
> She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother,
and
> I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'
>
>
>
> 'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad
put a
> seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine
months
> through an umbrella cord.'
>
>
>
> She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying
not to
> laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in
> amazement.
>
>
>
> 'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going,
'Oh, Oh, Oh,
> Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked
around the
> house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a
hysterical
> duck walk and groaning..)
>
>
>
> 'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she
doesn't have a
> sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in
bed
> like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall..)
>
>
>
> 'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case
he
> got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like
> psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming
water
> flowing away. It was too much!)
>
>
>
> 'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and
'breathe, breathe.
> They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden,
> out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it
> was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside
there.'
>
>
>
> Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.
I'm
> sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell
day,
> I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes
along.
>
>
>
> Now you have two choices...laugh and close this page or pass this along to
> someone else to spread the laughs. I know what I did!!!
>
>
>
> Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to make someone happy!