what a morning!!

This morning i picked out an outfit for my dd who is six(Alyssa). It was a brand new skirt and tank top. I had her put it on, but she had another outfit she wanted to wear today. The outfit she wanted was a skirt and a long sleeve shirt. the temperature was supposed to be in the 80's today so i wouldn't let her change. she sat on the couch and cried quietly, she cried for 20 minutes! I told her to just wear it out to breakfast and to church after that she could change. She still wasn't happy, at this point i was mad because i felt like she was arguing with me!! after about another 10 minutes of this I went in her room grabbed the outfit out of the closet and threw it!! I said put it on!! I don't know were that came from, i never act like that i am very disapointed in my self right now. i always told myself i wouldn't get angry like that. After that i just cried as i ironed my clothes. after i got dressed Alyssa says to me mom you look pretty....that made me feel worse and i started crying even more (i guess i'm feeling a little emotional today). I feel horrible about the way things happened today. oh ya we didn't even make it to church because we were so late from all of this. I feel like something is always stopping us from getting to church.

The reason i was posting this is because i feel i need prayer to handle these situations in a calmer matter. I also wanted advice. Should i let her pick out her own clothes and just kinda supervise in what she picks...i guess i just wasn't ready for her to start making little decisions for herself yet. they grow up to fast. :(

[stephwhiz]

Kristy the same things happen to me sometimes and usually it is on Sunday mornings too. I know the devil tries to get us not to go to church and it thrills him when that happens. He puts obstacles in our way so we won't make it. Sunday mornings are the hardest mornings of the week for us to get ready.

Don't beat yourself up for yelling at your dd. It happens to all of us sometimes even though I try not to do it, it just comes from somewhere and comes right out of my mouth. I have had to go back and apologize to my kids before. You sound like a great mom and we all make mistakes.

Hugs,

Stephanie :D

[soulmom]

the best trick i've heard of to remedy this that i use with my 4 yo ds is to pick two acceptable outfits and then let him pick the final choice. he's happy and ends up wearing appropriate clothes for the occasion. I hope that helps. i know what you mean about the frustration. I feel it often too, as my son is at that age where he still needs help to do a lot of things but insists he can do it himself. i let him try and tell him he can ask for help if he needs to, and he usually does, but when we are pressed for time it ends up being a hassle sometimes. i think just wanting to do better is the first step to overcoming our own frustration. Good luck to you and i'll be praying for you. :D

[Ashlee]

Hey Kristy! :D Don't beat yourself up over this.. your a great mom. We all have our days, Lord knows I do. We can only pray that the Lord will help us to be the best mommies we can be and follow His lead. I'll be praying! [amenamen]

We're not in church now, but when we were this sort of thing always happened..My daughter's 7 and very independent..What I would do is let her pick out her own outfit all the way to shoes, the night before..Make sure you have her put it outside of her room (laundry room or something) and make sure you've gone over the outfit before bed that night to make sure that all is well...

Moms are human too..

[JeanineAnne]

I have to totally agree to Steph's post. We've all been there unfortunately.

Soulmom has a wonderful idea. Especially when weather plays into a factor on what they are allowed or can wear. My almost 10 year old daughter has learned to discuss with me her outfit on Saturday night just to avoid any unneeded arguements on Sunday morning :)

Praying for you!!!

[mamallama]

I have to totally agree to Steph's post. We've all been there unfortunately.

Soulmom has a wonderful idea. Especially when weather plays into a factor on what they are allowed or can wear. My almost 10 year old daughter has learned to discuss with me her outfit on Saturday night just to avoid any unneeded arguements on Sunday morning :)

Praying for you!!!

Ditto all of this! [thumbsup]

We have all been there. Bless you for being honest and admitting it. I am always so ashamed. I never tell anyone. (except God) :oops:

I do exactly what soulmom suggests. I always (in most anything) give my daughter two choices. It really avoids a lot of conflict. (I learned this early on. :wink: ) This outfit or that one? This book or that one? Milk or water? Even when she is being deviant (as all kids do sometimes :roll: ) I sometimes say something to the effect of, "Do you want to go to bed early (take a time-out, play by yourself, etc) or do you want to behave and do as mommy asked?" Choices, choices, choices. It really works. :D

[~Tara~]

Yeah, we've all been there at least once. (me, more frequently, I'll be honest ;) ) Don't beat yourself up over it. Just talk to her, let her know you know you were wrong, apologize for your harsh reaction.
And ditto everyone else...choices...it's a great tool! They get to assert some of their independence, but within mom's boundaries and with your oversight. 2 choices...the night before. Lis hit that one ;) Definitely better to deal with this the night before. That way you can fine tune things as needed. No break down in the morning because she didn't like either choice ;) You can take care of that before you need to be walking out the door, ya see?

Kristy it is totally normal! My DD has issues like this! I mean even today DD insited she wants to wear her "swim suit" and we are going to the MALL!
It's such a girl thing honestly.

The only time I let DD choose her clothing is at home and when we are going out she KNOWS Mummy picks.

Definately you should take over until she's mature enough to make sensible choices.

Ignore the crying - take heart that you are the parent and you know what's best and that doesn't make you a monster.

Sometimes having too much choice too early can be quite bewildering for a little kid since they are unused to it, and not knowledgable in what's sensible and what's not.

You can bet your bottom dollar once you got to church DD would begin complaining of being "hot", you have the maturity she lacks to make these decisions.

I have learnt not to argue with DD, state the facts "this IS what is happening" - I so know how you feel because we have our clothing battles and other issues of late with her playing the Prima Donna and having "crying fits" or her attempting to argue and reason with me (children can't reason with an adult, they lack the wisdom)

[mommyb]

Hey, don't beat yourself up over this! Little girls are like this! My dd is 4 (will be 5 in Nov.) and it had taught me that little girls can really be argumentative! (I am starting to feel sorry for dh...he has dd and me that both are this way! Maybe there's a support group for guys like him LOL :lol: ). Also, there always seems to be something that always causes us to be late for church or miss the Sunday School and only make Worship Service so, I hear ya on that! :wink:

[Godzgirl]

Hey girly, know that your are a great mommy. For realizing your mistakes only show that you care about dd. The others ladies suggestions inregards to picking out clothes is great. And like they mentioned also don't bet yourself up over it we have all been their and like stephanie mentioned apologizing to your dd is a good idea. Oh and about having a hard time getting out of the door sunday mornings, been there too.

thank you everyone for the great ideas, i'm going to try that. :D and thank you for not judging me.