:shock: What has happened to DD!

My lovely sweet little thing has turned into Miss Princess Prima Donna!

Everytime something doesn't go her way she starts crying or complaining until it begins to drive me crazy (she's almost 4). Lately, I have been trying to resolve this by shutting her in her bedroom and then she comes out much more compliant. I explain to her "Wouldn't the whole thing gone better if you had've just not complained or cried in the first place"

When she is compliant, I make sure I give her lots of encouragement and call her "good girl" and tell her "it's wonderful"

For instance; we got McDonald's for lunch yesterday and the staff messed up our order and we didn't know until we were long gone from MD's - so DD ended up with a burger instead of nuggets. You should have HEARD the performance - until DH took the MD off her and told her she'd have nothing if she couldn't be greatful and that the people had made a mistake. DS was happy to have his lunch and scoffed it all down! DH removed the toy that went with the meal too and told DD she had so many seconds to quit wailing (what KID cries over McDonalds! boy-oh-boy, kids today! My parents would NEVER have been able to afford MD's and don't misunderstand me, it's more than disappointment, it's spoilt brat disorder LOL)
He also told her that some kids can only ever DREAM of going to McDonalds. She became mollified and after a while DH handed back her lunch and she ate it in silence and then turned into an angel once again.

That is just one of the many instances lately.

Yesterday she had another fit over something so she was removed to her bedroom once again. The thing is, when she comes out she is completely mollified and compliant, apologetic, the perfect angel BUT -it's an every day battle. I always tell her "That is so much better behaviour, see isn't it much nicer that way, when you are a good girl?"

This morning it was over: not being able to have a candy, not being able to put her spoon in the biscuit mix and eat it - once again, I put her in her room - she came out mollified once again and apologised.

A simple thing like asking her to put her clothes on this morning was battlefront - she asked if she could wear something else so I said "Yes, you go and pick it then" so then it became "No, you pick me another outfit"
I was like "Excuse me, I did pick you an outfit" - so another whine fit for which I told her to get to her bedroom and stay there. She came out 10 minutes later dressed and in a bright, apologetic mood.

I talked to her about what had happened and she knew in her own words she had "disobeyed me" about putting her clothes on. So she definately knows what she's doing.

My point is WHEN IS SHE GOING TO GET IT!

I know she is trying to see in part if she can "order" me around - and trying me out to see what will happen. Somtimes she will try this "GET ME A DRINK!" thing, I turn my back on her and then say "When you learn to ask for a drink properly, you may have one" or "is that how we ask for a drink?"

I think I am a little anxious because the baby is a week off and I guess it's unrealistic to forsee training her out of this behaviour between now and then and I think dealing with Miss wobbly throw and a baby - :shock:
Lucky DH has 3 weeks off after the baby arrives.

DH and I concocted an idea to make a behaviour chart with red angry faces, and if they get 5 angry faces in a day, DH will punish them when he gets home and if they get 5 yellow happy faces, they will get praise and if lucky a reward (we of course don't want to push the reward thing all the time because in reality you don't get a reward for doing the right thing in the real world - )

uggggggggggggggggggggg how long is this going to take!!!

(Oh and it's not the baby arriving either, she was doing this before the pregnancy)

Somtimes she will try this "GET ME A DRINK!" thing, I turn my back on her and then say "When you learn to ask for a drink properly, you may have one" or "is that how we ask for a drink?

I don't have to do this much anymore but when my boys would "demand" something I would either ignore them for a bit and then ask "OH, were you wanting something?" and then if they said "yes, water" I would say "OH that's nice" and still not go to get it until they finally asked correctly with please and now that they are older we want them to ask "May I please have water?" (using "may I . . ."). Then once they asked correctly I made a big deal saying YES you MAY have water and getting it out and giving it to them.

Whining that doesn't stop we gave younger ds who was 3 at the time vinegar - dipped our finger in vinegar and then put it in his mouth. He learned quick with that one and now if he starts up we ask him if he wants vinegar and he stops whining.

I don't know, sounds like going to her room works at the moment but it's not stopping it from happening again (multiple times). Is there something else that would work better? I know it's hard with that age, with my older ds (7) he gets so much computer time each day and if he disobeys he loses his computer time and that's what affects him the most.

The chart sounds like a good idea. Maybe you could ask them ahead of time what kind of rewards they would like - could be a trip to the park or just doing something one on one with you or dad. Ideas like that which aren't things/objects. We had a chart for our ds to earn time to play video game once/week.

I hope things get better soon for you. Remember to keep it up and be consistent! Being consistent is very important.

Janell

Oh yeah consistency is everything! I T/A.

That's what I am trying to achieve with the room time is consistency.

The vingegar sounds like a good idea - never thought of that one.

If she gets too bad she does get a spank, (and I am not here to get into an argument about spanking :wink:) it's become one of those things where generally the threat of a spank is enough rather than the actual act.

Thanks for the tips and encouragement

xox Aussie Mum

I totally feel for you. Between baby on the way and another "4" year old to deal with...you will be in my prayers.

I really don't have any advice for you because it sounds like you are dealing with the situation better than me. I have a DD who is almost 4 1/2, going on 17 I think. She has figured out that granny (where she spends her days while I work) just hates to hear her cry, so if granny says no, she will just put on a face that looks like she might cry and granny will quickly change her answer and give DD anything she wants, everytime. DH is almost as bad (the phrase "Daddy's Girl" is a major understatement here).
Like your DD, she can be the sweetest, most wonderful little girl you would ever hope to spend time with, and on a moments notice, she will go nuts acting as if the entire world should be bowing at her feet and thanking her just for the privledge of seeing her!! But, 5 minutes later, the sweet girl is back.
I have actually had the thought before that is almost comes and goes and seems like PMS. Then my thoughts go to the food we eat and the hormones and preservativies in it... I don't know, the princess is such a pickey eater, changing her diet would be a challenge to say the least, but if we don't get a handle on this soon, we may be researching this option.

Parenting isn't for cowards! That is for sure. And it is a lot of hard work and a lot of trial and error, but I think you are right on the track, just like Joylynn said. I like a lot of the other suggestions as well.

The only other thing I would add is scripture. They aren't too young for it. If there are just a set of rules and no explanation with God in it, sometimes they have no motivation to obey them. Even obedience is a rule, but it is based on scripture and what God says. I try to explain to my children about the wisdom of God. That this is what the BIBLE says to do. That I must teach them to obey me because God tells me I must and God tells them they must. That the Bible's rules are for their good, to protect them. That when they obey God and His rules then God can protect them, but when then step out of the circle of protection with disobedience, it brings pain. " Disobedience brings pain." One of the first scripture verse my children learned!

Another helpful thing we did was role playing and practice. We would pretend to be in the grocery store or wherever...what will you do when...what will you say. Okay let's practice. You want a piece of candy, I say no, not today...what do you say? How do you behave? What will happen if you disobey? That kind of thing.

Keep up the g ood work! You go girl!

Yes, you are right! I do use scripture usually or talk about what pleases God but for this time I haven't (???) I think I couldn't really think of a scriptual precident or lesson to add in line with the Lord, other than Obey Mummy because God says you have to (put in a milder way of course).

Or using Jesus guides us in our daily life when we let him so we don't make mistakes that hurt us, and he helps Mummy to make decisions for you for the same reason (???)

And parenting is not for cowards or lazy people thats for sure :shock: It would be just so easy to give in wouldn't it? Of course, that's just making a rod for my own back so I would never do that.

Thanks for all the comments ladies.

There are wonderful helps out there to aid you in finding scripture for the various occasions that arise with children. I love "Instruction for Righteousness" through Doorposts. There is also Proverbs for Parenting. These list the various sins children tend to and the scripture you can use to instruct listed for you.

I also love the Miller Books. They have wonderful stories you can read to the children that illustrates a scriptural truth in every day childhood life and why it is wise to follow God's guidelines. They have one for toddlers called: "Story Time with the Millers". Then as they get into school age there is "Wisdom with the Millers" and also "School Days with the Millers". WONDERFUL books! :D Helpful for mom too, as the scriptures stick with you; and you remember them as you go about your day and encounter various issues.

[hug] [heartbeat] [girlsmiley] [highfive]

We have a pile of ME TOO books, which are interactive Bible Stories, but nothing like what you mentioned. Might take a trip to the Christian bookstore.