Katherine is 25 months now and is still not talking much. I KNOW she can talk, she just won't. It is so frustrating, because when she wants something she will just point (at nothing in particular, just point in general to indicate she wants something even if it isn't in sight) and say "mama?". Either that, or, worse, she will whine and whine and whine and I will ask her questions... "are you thirsty? are you hungry?" For example today I was asking her all sorts of questions because she was whining and finally I said "Are you hungry?" and of course she stops whining immediately and gives a little grunt of delight that i've figured out what she wants that indicates "yes." it's not even an "uh- huh" or "yeah" it's just a grunt. but that's how she says "yes." LOL

Why won't she just say so!! I know she is understanding EVERYTHING I say because she follows commands quite well. I just do not want this whining habit ingrained in her... I want to teach her to communicate what she needs and not just whine until someone brings it to her!

I guess I could probably start by not doing that. lol. Advice on how to encourage her to speak more?

My SIL had this problem with my nephew, she got on his level and told him she didn't understand his whining and that he needed to speak what he wanted/needed in order to get her attention. She would just ignore him and gently remind him of that when he started in, it took awhile but he got it after repeating it for awhile. I know easier said than done lol, I just cant wait until Payton starts whining! [whatwacko]

Cheese my 4th son was a late talker. Relatives now tell me they thought something was wrong.

He was a child who gave signs of things. I knew all his signs and what they meant. Though I never taught him a single sign he just picked them and so I learned his signs. I wasn't a signing parent is what I'm trying to say. He could talk just chose not to a lot of the time. I never had an issue of it till others started stating their concerns to me later. Everyone had this notion each step had to happen by a certain age. And we as parents know it doesn't always work that way.

Honest we did nothing to force him to talk, I just always stated what it was and what he wanted clearly. And whala one day he wouldn't stop talking. Yap, yap, yap that boy is and perfect phonetics too, no baby talk in there what so ever. He is the most polite little guy too.

That's just my story, maybe it will help.

I'd say both renee and mj are right. You should't feel too much pressure that she should be this at this time though if you think she's just not living up to her ability then my first thought was don't accomidate her. Tell her you don't respond to whining and pointing and that she needs to tell you what she wants and then stick to it with in reason. I'm teaching brandon signs especially for food related issues. I'm waiting for him to show signs of understanding and ability. When he does I'm going to require it of him for my response cause right now he beats the table for more food. . .I just need to give him a fork and knife to make him a complete hillbilly- *geesh* =) -ren
Just had this thought too- like renee said continue to name things and teach the right words as you go along. Maybe some basic signs might work with her too. I hope something happens to make you feel better about the situation cheese! -ren

My youngest was a late talker too but a lot of that had to do with the fact that she didn't need to talk since her older sister did it for her. I wouldn't worry too much about it she will talk when she's ready. If she's having a really hard time you might try teaching her some basic signs.

My kids were (and are still sometimes) whiny. They just don't want to communicate properly. I always make them sit in time out until they can talk to me properly. Sure is hard though sometimes.

I hope it works itself out soon.

If you aren't sure what your daughter wants or needs, try asking her to "touch" what she wants, or to "show you" what she needs, rather than having to ask her a bunch of questions. Also, when you sing simple songs with her, leave out a word and "pretend" you forgot so she will fill it in, or say the wrong word and have her "correct" you
example: sing: Mary had a little "fish" instead of Mary had a little lamb. (this cracks my daughter up).

Also, give your daughter as many choices through out the day as possible. (Do you want the red cup or green cup, The book about dogs or the book about Cats?

Put some of your daughters toys up where she can't reach them, but in sight so she will be motivated to ask for them. Encourage her to make an attempt at saying the name of the toy before you give it to her.
HTH!

... I want to teach her to communicate what she needs and not just whine until someone brings it to her!

I guess I could probably start by not doing that. lol. Advice on how to encourage her to speak more?


hehe yep
I'd try this:
Say she comes grunting/whining to you, you ask questions and decipher what she really wants..it's a drink. Ok, so you go prepare her a drink then ask her again, did you need a drink? She grunts. You then ask her to *say* "drink". She grunts again. "No, *say* drink, please." She grunts. You set the cup on the counter just out of reach. "Nope, I need you to *say* drink, please. Then I will gladly hand you your drink. You need to ask. You need to *tell* me what you need. 'Drink' "(or 'drink, please, but hey, I know at this point, you'd be happy with A word, we'll work on manners/politeness later hehe)

Every kid I know has at least made a discernable attempt at saying the word requested of them in this scenario.

I remember my MIL using this technique with a certain day care kid. Sounds much like your dd. Knew EXACTLY what you were saying, and could speak many words....when they wanted. Otherwise, forget it, they are stinkers. hehe But, MIL had a house full of kids and, well, she's like me in that she refuses to interpret all day. She told the kid to stop being lazy and *speak* for what s/he needed. At first it took 3-4 requests before the child actually said what was wanted/needed. But that didn't last long.

I've practiced this with each of mine as well. As soon as they start making those sounds for 'demands'. Trying to not let them get to the point Katherine is in now. My Eldest started doing that too. But he's the one who didn't want to do ANYthing until he had it 'figured out'. He didn't talk a whole lot until he felt he could better communicate what he wanted to. There wasn't much 'babble' from him. It was words. A few clear words strung together. I suspect that may be your Katherine too ;)

Just try giving her those words to say for each occasion/want/need and expect her to repeat them. As long as she starts with more than her usual grunt, reward. But always expect and encourage better next time. :)

All of what has been said and persistance, consistancy, calmness, gentleness, etc. These are all things that will help you get thru this and many other stages of parenthood, I think. Lol.

My two year old is very non-verbal......he is autistic, and we have been working with a speech therapist for many months......this has given me a little insight into what is going on in the mind of a little one when they communicate.....with that said, when I think of a little one communicating, I usually try to see it from their point of view.....Your daughter want's milk.....she has to get your attention, and somehow let you know what she wants.....she can use non-verbal cues and gestures or she can use verbal language.....in order to use verbal language, she has to remember the words that she needs to use in this situation, and then make her mouth produce the words......this is really hard for a little one.....their brains are still learning how to connect language to things......they are just beginning the process, so it requires a lot of thought and effort to talk.....it is not spontaneous like it is for us as adults.....so you can kind of understand why it is easier for her to point and grunt.....

With all of that said, I would not pressure her too much to talk....I might ask her once or twice to request what she wants using words, but then, if you know what she wants, I would give it to her.....she will talk one day.....remember, not all communication is verbal....you want her to use and develop her non-verbal communication skills as much as her verbal skills.....I will be praying for you......

Hi
I think you have been given some great encouragement and advice. I am not sure if it would help but maybe pictures for her would work too, but also encouraging her to use the word too to help and maybe cut down on the whining!
Hang in there mama

thanks for all the great advice everyone. we have had a rough couple of days because we have been super busy, but I'm trying to get her to ask for things a couple times before I give them to her. I know she will talk eventually... it would just be easier on me if things hurried up LOL

My two year old is very non-verbal......he is autistic, and we have been working with a speech therapist for many months......this has given me a little insight into what is going on in the mind of a little one when they communicate.....with that said, when I think of a little one communicating, I usually try to see it from their point of view.....Your daughter want's milk.....she has to get your attention, and somehow let you know what she wants.....she can use non-verbal cues and gestures or she can use verbal language.....in order to use verbal language, she has to remember the words that she needs to use in this situation, and then make her mouth produce the words......this is really hard for a little one.....their brains are still learning how to connect language to things......they are just beginning the process, so it requires a lot of thought and effort to talk.....it is not spontaneous like it is for us as adults.....so you can kind of understand why it is easier for her to point and grunt.....

With all of that said, I would not pressure her too much to talk....I might ask her once or twice to request what she wants using words, but then, if you know what she wants, I would give it to her.....she will talk one day.....remember, not all communication is verbal....you want her to use and develop her non-verbal communication skills as much as her verbal skills.....I will be praying for you......

Excellent advice! I totally agree.

Glad you posted this cheese. I've been enjoying reading everybody's replies. My ds is 26 months and is finally starting to say a few more words. So you are not alone here!

When DS would do that, we just would say, Use your words. We did teach him a few signs which I felt really helped (although some thought it hindered) but I would say use your mouth words, not your hand words.

Now at four, he just grunts because he knows I don't like it! :)

we had a similar problem with my first born.
he was 2 1/2 and not talking.
my DH and i took this program called "it takes two to talk."
it really helped us find ways to help him talk.
here's a link:

http://www.hanen.org/web/Home/HanenPrograms/ItTakesTwoToTalk/tabid/76/Default.aspx