my son, who still won't poop on the potty all of the time has now started preschool. he cries when i droop him off, although his teacher says that he is fine once i leave. we have an arrangement that someone will pick him up if he has a bm accident at school. yesterday he went for 1/2 day and was very happy when i picked him up. today he had a bm accident. he is very upsert because he missed out on playtime, and he had to sit on the chair by the office until i got him. he now says that he doesn't want to go back.
he is 3 years and 4 months. i am going back to work next week, working the hours that he is in school. the options for him were to send him to school, or to daycare. the school is a christain school and thought that this wouyld be a good oppurtunity for him, but now i am feeling like maybe we are pushing him to fast and he is not ready for school.

My doctor told me and my friend that the average age for a fully trained boy is 3 years and 7 months old...and even up til' 4! He probably felt humiliated, frustrated, and upset at himself for having the accident and then having to miss his playtime and then having to sit in a chair at the office and knowing his classmates probably know why...just love on him and protect his heart and he'll get through it........
Pushing to quick....I personally take the view that we force children to grow up way to fast and don't allow them to naturally process their world enough. Our society has pushed early education strongly...and yes, I agree that it is important to learn and be taught from day one! However, I think we demand too much from such special little people which when we do, can cause problems down the road and into maturity. I also understand staying home is not always an option, but I think that if it is, even part time until they seem ready, it is the wisest move we can make for our children's futures. Good luck, it's not easy anyway that you look at it.