My ds perfers a bottle over me. We can't even show him a bottle/nipple or he will go crazy, and If I am bf when he sees it, BF will be done because he will get MAD it he doesn't get his bottle. dispite this I was still hoping to bf till at least 1 year as much as he would do and as much as my low milk supply would support. Lately he is really uninterested to bf, and he has started bitting at every feeding. Is this showing me he is trying to wean completly? Every once in a while we will have a good bf but 9 times out of 10 they are a stuggle for me to keep him on. Any advice would be appriciated, but I am also wanting to know what it looks like when a baby really is weaning off the breast.

Becky,
I don't quite recall exactly how old your son is, but my dd went through a similiar phase at around 10mths. She'll be one next week (don't even get me started on that :-( ) and has completely weaned herself at this point. When my dd would bite she was bearing down hard and it was quite painful. I would stop, say a sharp, "No" and put her down. I would offer formula in a sippy cup, but would resume the next feeding as normal. Over a period of weeks things escalated to the point that most feedings were cut short due to biting and my once plentiful milk supply started to dry up. I'll add that my dd was not acting the least bit upset during this process,after biting she was giggling and laughing, even when I placed her down and ended the feed. So, I too wanted to bf for a little longer than I ended up going, but dd seemed to have other plans. I tried to persevere over a period of several weeks to see if we could work past a 'phase', but in my case I do believe it was my dd's way of weaning herself. So, for what it's worth, I'd suggest just try to work through this phase and see which direction it takes.

I'm sure I'm of no help. When mine started 'biting' I'd flick their cheek and say no and remove them from the breast. It only took a few times for them to get the message and nurse nicely.

However, you're in a rather different situation as your child often feeds from a bottle. It could be very likely that he is rejecting your breast in favor of the faster releasing bottle.

But if you would like to keep him at the breast, I suggest the flick method. Just don't give him another bottle in the time that he is off the breast. Meaning..in this training the babe is only off for a minute or two. But, if yours is doing this to resist the breast, he won't at all mind that he is off for a couple of minutes and might very well wander off and not care about it for half an hour or whatever. So, I would say, if that be the case, do not give him a bottle at his next feed, bring him back to the breast.

I dunno. I could be way off base here, having never dealt with supplementing/bottles/baby rejecting breast. Just offering what came to mind, for whatever it's worth. :)

Is he teething? Both my kids have gone through phases where they don't want to nurse because they are teething so bad it is uncomfortable... I didn't give a bottle though, if they got hungry enough they would eat... because once you start that it can be a slippery slope since bottles are so much easier to eat from, and kids can be lazy just like us... LOL

Becky-

I went thru that too. DS got teeth quick. Each time he teethed, he got 4 so soon he had a mouthful. He also would not nurse if he saw the bottle or had a bottle right before. When he got a bottle he would finish it (6-8 oz) in about 10 minutes flat. If I knew that we were going to nurse, I would not feed him food or a bottle until after we had nursed. A few times after several bottles in a row, he got to where he wanted to refuse the breast, so I would sit with him and every few minutes I would give him the breast and after a few times, he would latch on. In the beginning I only nursed until at 4 weeks the dr told me to give him a bottle about once a day or so in case something happended and that would be the only choice. It was very hard on both of us and we both cried. It was good though because two weeks later I had gallbladder issues and couldn't nurse from the medicine for two days. Once he figured out it was less work to have a bottle he got to where he wanted one. As long as he was using bottles at all, he only got them at the babysitters or in public if needed. I made sure I kept nursing at home when we where together.

For the biting I would say sharply, NO BITE!, but I did not remove him from the breast. Normally he would start to get sad and slowly resume nursing gently.

He was pretty much done nursing around his 11th month and I was so sad to see it go, but he was on to cups then so he didn't really have a bottle either.

Sorry for the length! :)

thanks for all the respomces....I am just at this spot where I don't know what to do. I know my ds perfers the bottle for the ease. fast flow, and never having to wait for let down. (I might add that my milk supply is very low and I only have one let down each breast perr feeding. also I have to wait considerable time with each feeding because If I feed back to back I litterally have no milk) I have firmly been saying no to the bites and have flicked him also. he will just contine to bite once back on. he is teething and I am sure that is playing a role. I am just so confused on what I should do. before Josh was born and had all the nusing problems I was planning on bf till he was 2....I just hope I can nurse a little longer.

I only feel "one" letdown too... that doesn't mean there aren't more there...

also, when my kids bite, I just screech in pain. They'll cry for a minute after that, but, neither of my kids have bitten me more than a few times. They learn quick. lol. :)

you have to remember though that the more frequently he is at the breast the more it can help your supply
I understand you may have some big issues as far as supply, I'm just reminding that, generally speaking, frequent nursing stimulates and aids in milk production.

So...

If that's what you want to do, you have to continue to work at it. In spite of ds' laziness ;) (aka preference for the bottle)

Try some Hyland's teething tablets or licorice root tincture for the teething.

Oh...what else have you been doing to help with milk supply?
Mother's milk tea? Fenugreek? Marshmallow root? Just wondering if you had been keeping up with other remedies and how that was working for you.

I only feel "one" letdown too... that doesn't mean there aren't more there...

also, when my kids bite, I just screech in pain. They'll cry for a minute after that, but, neither of my kids have bitten me more than a few times. They learn quick. lol. :)

That may work for some, but I would caution using it for everyone. My eldest son bit me once very hard, and I screeched in pain, and it totally broke his little heart. I couldn't get him to go back to nursing for a little while, and I honestly think that If I'd made a practice of that, that he wouldn't have gone back to the breast at some point.

My youngest son however, has bit me and drawn blood, and you can bet that caused a bit of a screech out of me, and he just giggled.

So there's a big difference in how kids could perceive that sitch.

Other tips for biting that have helped me, are:

Keep your thumb near baby's mouth while they're nursing, and when you feel them break suction and begin to move their mouth to bite, slip your thumb in between their gums. It will save you alot of pain, and they don't like it either. It took some consistency, but it was pretty effective, especially with a firm "no biting".

And remember, that baby cannot bite you if he's latched on correctly. During latch, their tongue is over their lower teeth, so if they bite you, their teeth get their own tongue first. Keep an eye out for them starting to break the latch, and you can head off bites sometimes.

I guess I would pretty much ditto Tara's post. My DD, now 20 months and still an avid nurser, has 12 teeth. If she ever tried to bite, I would remove her from the breast and be firm with her. She got the point pretty quickly.

My advice honestly? If you want to get him to nurse until 2, you have to eliminate the bottle preference. I know of a mom who used an SNS (nursing supplementer) due to low supply. Would that be an option for you? That way he could get the supplements he needs and you wouldn't have to use the bottles. Just wanted to throw that idea out there. :)

After a certain point, when he's eating a wide range of foods, you may be able to discontinue supplementation all together, (when he's over a year old of course) as comfort and closeness to mom are just as important as the milk for nursing toddlers.

Big (((hugs))) to you. I hope that you figure out a solution that works for your family!

Hey Becky- I just wanted to offer some reassurance that even if bf doesn't work out, you have still done your best and gave you son a great advantage in the time you were able to breastfeed. I sense that you would have preferred to nurse longer but gfven the low supply and the growing preference of your ds, it may be that he weans sooner than you expected. I think lots of things are like that in motherhood- we hope, expect, desire one thing, and get something completely different. Only if you are completely committed to bf'ing longer would I think it is worth the struggle and stress that it is presenting. I would have liked to bf my two longer, but I wasn't completely set on it and found the transition to just bottles to be so easy and peaceful. I never wanted meal times, at the breast or otherwise, to be a stressful time, and also had a lot of external factors that came into play. I'll pray that you happen upon the solution that's best for all of ya!

So today when I was bf, he bit me 3 times hard and a dozen or so kind of soft. With the hard ones that hurt I let out a big OUCH and NO, and then set him on the ground. He then cried and cried so after 30 seconds or so I picked him up each time and cuddled him and told him mommy forgives him but he shouldn't bite (my son is 8 1/2 months BTW) On the last bit I just let him be done and I didn't give him a bottle afterwards. It is hard because I have this internal struggle of I want to bf, but at the same time I have had to work at my milk supple constantly and now I am back to work 2 days a week, so part of me just wants to finally call it quits. I wish he could go back to just not bitting me and enjoying our 2 bf a day, because that was working out good. Tara had asked what I have done to help my milk, I have been on meds since the beging (donperadon), I plan on putting myself back on them as of tonight to see if that helps things any, I drink mothers milk tea, to the point of I don't enjoy tea anymore haha. I have quite pumping because I HATE IT and have had enough pumping to make me blue in the face. I might try the SNS system that Ruth suggested and see if maybe that helps the bitting...it will at least show me if he is bitting because of a flow issue or a teething issue. I also might try giving him some teething meds before we bf. I don't want to take the bottle away from him and bf only, especially with my milk supply how it is, because the last time I did he lost a couple pounds and my son is already in the 5% and lower for weight and height, so he needs all the nutrition I can give him. You ladies gave me a lot to think about and try and so really good support no matter what direction we go. I will let you gals know how we did with the SNS tomorrow. Thanks!

I can imagine developing a distaste for tea, doing as you've been hehe Sorry about that.
Look into the Fenugreek and Marshmallow root then. Capsules! You don't have to drink/taste a thing! :) The Fenugreek is known to help increase quantity (as I'm sure you're aware, it would be in your MMtea) and the Marshmallow root thickens/enriches it. So that maybe even without a big increase in quantity, the marshmallow root could potentially make it more filling/satisfying so that ds doesn't lose any more weight.

I sure hope you're able to figure this all out soon. I can only imagine the frustration. *hugs*

Please do let us know how things go once you get back on the meds and if/when you try the SNS.

Id say also that eating oatmeal, almonds and hummus can help with milk supply and you should avoid mint, that'll help diminish it.
I'm so glad you posted this as Brandon now has his first two teeth and I'm just bracing myself for the first bite=). Also, I didn't nurse emme nearly this long and am in uncharted taritory w/ Bran. Over the last few months I've thought a number of times that, "this is it, I'm drying up". The last two times it's been because I've needed to add another solid food meal to his day (he now eats veggies at dinner and fruit at lunch). I hoped to almost exclusively nurse until he was a year. I want to say I second what jeanineanne wrote- don't beat yourself up. You've given him an EXCELLANT start and if it's time to move on to the bottle- it's OK. Emotionally I couldn't hack the demands of BF with Emme and so she moved to formula rather quickly (completely by 5 months)- she's fine and it was peaceful in our home and in me=) I found bottle feeding to be just as nice emotionally as bf. Ok back to brandon- I didn't take him to Ohio with me and pumped and got mastitis and blah, blah. That night that I got back and tried to bf he won't take it at first and I thought I was going to cry. He did take it eventualy and now we're back on tract but, if he sees the bottle he goes nuts and I came to the conclusion that the others have- he didn't like to wait for let down and he got instant gratification from the bottle. I agree with the others- if you do want to keep up with bf don't give the bottle unless you have to. Also, you might want to look at what solids or meals of his can be taylored to fit him better ie. another meal of more teething foods at meal time. BUT, if you deside enough is enough- it's OK. Honestly, I'd probably have moved to bottles by now if we could afford it but, we REALLY can't so, I really have to endure and push through. Oh, well. Take care sweety and do what you gotta do. love -ren

Also, Becky, what kind of solids are you giving? After my daughter had the flu and lost some weight I've been feeding her avocados, olives, almond butter, sunflower seed butter, vegan margarine and anything else that is high fat that I can think of. I can tell that she's chubbed up a bit in a just a few days. So high fats solids might help if you're not already doing them. :)

Hey Ruth, Yes we have been doing high fats food also. I wasn't able to try the sns because I couldn't find one, but I am going to go to my lactation consultant on Monday and talk to her about all of this and see if she will give me a sns to try. I believe Josh is biting because of teething, more then low milk. He bites his bottle and anything else he can get into his mouth.
Ren, I think I am also going to try to bump up his food. The book "super baby food" says I should be giving him 3 meals with a snack, and I have only been giving him 1-2 so I definitely need to bump that up. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with baby food. I try to make my own, but I get stuck in ruts and then I go to Jar, and that is just SO expensive. I think he is to the point that I can just puree what we are eating excluding the meats, so maybe that will make my life simpler.

Becky I so know what you mean- I was resisting solid foods like crazy. . .it did feel overwelming but, thankfully Brandon is an on the dot kind of guy=) 11am- I need my fruit. 6pm- I need my veggies. That for whatever reason seems to help me feel like getting to it but, I'm now resisting the idea of a breakfast meal. . .I hate the morning time as it is and ugh, thankfully we're not quite there yet but, I know it's coming. it's so weird cause I didn't feel like that with emme (well not to the extreme I'm feeling with Brandon). And it is so expensive and he's a little OINKER! I have to think about pureeing but, not right now- we've got to much going on lately. Blah, blah- praying for you sweety lumps=) -ren

I'm eager to hear how the SNS does for you. And just one more thought, you're short, right? Do you think that maybe Josh is small because of heredity and not because of anything he's eating or not eating?

I'm eager to hear how the SNS does for you. And just one more thought, you're short, right? Do you think that maybe Josh is small because of heredity and not because of anything he's eating or not eating?
This is what everyone is thinking. the dr. isn't worried as long as he is following his growth curve, but last dr apt. he fell off HIS curve. At that time I was soley bfing, and having trouble with my supply. With the advise of my dr, and lactation consultant, we decided to start solids early and do some formula. Since then the formula has been a slippery slope. I am going to go see my lac. con. later today, and see what she says. Also, yesterday Josh ONLY BF!!! however I noticed he didn't pee very much. so that has me a little concerned. Also he didn't bite me, I have been trying a new technique that I read on a web site given by Dr. Sears. When the baby bites you pull themm in close and smother them with your breast. That way they associate bitting with being uncomfortable and not breathing, so far it has been working the best! I will let you know how it goes with the lac. later.

When the baby bites you pull themm in close and smother them with your breast. That way they associate bitting with being uncomfortable and not breathing,

LOL...oh my goodness! I'll have to try that...my DS will bite sometimes although he doesn't have teeth yet...but those gums can hurt too!! I'm pretty sure he's starting to teethe.

Ok gals here is my update. Ever since *smothering* Josh about 3 times he has not bit since! Nursing is going much better and I know my supply is up because my boobs have that hot feeling when I need to nurse. Josh has been doing good, and has actually started trying to get down my shirt when he is hungry again which is a good sign. So as of right now we are not calling it quits. My LS wasn't their on monday and is at a conference until next week, so on next monday I will meet up with her. THen I can do some test weights and see what she thinks about everything.

Ok gals here is my update. Ever since *smothering* Josh about 3 times he has not bit since! Nursing is going much better and I know my supply is up because my boobs have that hot feeling when I need to nurse. Josh has been doing good, and has actually started trying to get down my shirt when he is hungry again which is a good sign. So as of right now we are not calling it quits. My LS wasn't their on monday and is at a conference until next week, so on next monday I will meet up with her. THen I can do some test weights and see what she thinks about everything.

Oh, Becky that is wonderful news! I'm so happy to hear that!

My daughter, if she is hungry and desperate enough will pull at my shirt or stick her hands down it and scream "Bob! Bob!" That's our code word for nursing.

Good to hear it, Becky! Praise God!

YAY!!!! And I love the grabbing at the shirt to feed- he's just started to do that and I think it's hillarious! Thanks for posting what you found helpful- if I run into biting I'll give that a try first. Smooches and yay you still get to bf! -ren