Just wondering how many people find out what they're having before it's born... I don't want to start a huge debate but I'd like to have some opinions on this. With my dd it was no question... we *had* to find out. We were so exciting we would have died waiting. So I don't regret at all finding out with her. Initially with this one we just assumed we would find out again. But now I'm having mixed feelings. I'll be having a scheduled c-section and I feel like if we know what it is (and therefore know the name) there will be no surprises. Last time we didn't know I'd have to have a c-section (until I'd been in labor for 24 hrs) so the anticipation of when it would happen was definitely there. This time, we won't have that. On the flip side, I might go crazy waiting if I don't know. We could just find out and not tell anyone, but dh would leak it the first day. That's how he is with that stuff. It's cute. Anyway, give me your stories and advice.

I don't find out. Haven't with any of them.

But then, I don't receive 'standard' prenatal care in which there are routine ultrasounds and thereby don't even have that temptation. :) So, it's all worked out nicely I guess.

I've always liked the surprise aspect. And I'm not one who "has" to have everything 'in order'. So, it just works well. We're a rather fly by the seat of our pants kind of family here. This is no different.

*and on a side note, not to start anything either, just asking...being the natural birth advocate that I am..I can't NOT ask.. Why the scheduled section for this one? And what was the reason for the first section? (coming from someone who had a 27 hr first labor, 2+ hr pushing, was talk of transport (I home birth) ) (feel free to respond via PM if you'd rather...I'm just asking out of genuine concern :) )

I didn't find out for either of my kids....don't plan to for this one either. I LOVE having that as a surprise. My theory is, it is one of lifes very few guaranteed good surprises - why spoil it?

.

*and on a side note, not to start anything either, just asking...being the natural birth advocate that I am..I can't NOT ask.. Why the scheduled section for this one? And what was the reason for the first section? (coming from someone who had a 27 hr first labor, 2+ hr pushing, was talk of transport (I home birth) ) (feel free to respond via PM if you'd rather...I'm just asking out of genuine concern :) )


That's ok you asked. With my dd I was in labor for a long time and wouldn't dilate past 3. They decided to start me on Pitocin to get things going. After many more hours they realized the pitocin wasn't helping; I wasn't dilating further and was not even 50% effaced. They kept cranking up the Pitocin, but still, nothing. It was then that my dr (who is normally very natural-minded) decided it would be best to do a c-section while the baby was still stable to avoid waiting longer and making it an emergency C. I was so desperate at that point that I said ok. When they got baby out they realized that even though she was head down, she had her neck cranked back and was trying to come out face first (her face looked pretty bad for the first couple hours of life, but then it all went back to normal) Also, they said that since she was 8lbs 8oz, I would have probably had a pretty traumatic delivery, since I'm very small framed (5'1" and 105 lbs when not preg or carrying extra reserves :-D) These may all just be justifications by the drs but I guess it is what it was. So, to answer your question, my dr feels it best that we don't try the labor thing again because it probably won't work and there's also the risk of rupture. She didn't say I had to have a c-section, she was open to VBAC, just advised it. Lately I've been feeling that maybe I should try VBAC, but also have my doubts. Maybe someone can give me some advice on this, too. (wow I need a lot of advice... good thing I found you guys!!) Kudos to you Tara, my dh would agree with you 100% on the home birth thing. (He tends to be anti-healthcare, awkward for me since I'm a nurse....) I'd love to hear more about your natural methods...

One more thing, how come I used to get so much done during my dd's nap and now I just sit on the computer....? Anyone else like this... hmmmm [whatthink]

I just want to encourage you to think more about that VBAC :) I do not believe in 'once a section, always a section' Every birth is different. I think you should look into that option some more. Soooo many women have had successful VBACs. Even those who were strongly advised against it. It IS possible. Don't rule that out just yet ;)

And yeah, I often spend nap/quiet time on the computer as well. But then again...mine is pretty much on all day. I multi-task. I go away and come back and go away and come back.

Oh and in your reading up on VBACs, delve into a bit of home birth stuff. Not saying this with the intentions of trying to convince you to go that route hehehe Trust me here... there is so much that can be learned through reading about home births. Something away from the 'medically minded' standards. You can see how natural birth can be and really *is*. You can see all the things that CAN be dealt with without medical intervention. It can be very encouraging and enlightening.

(again, just trying to encourage, not persuade or hound or anything like that ;) )

I personally know a woman who has had THREE successful VBAC's after two C-sections! She is such an inspiration to me! I tend to lean towards less surgery, more letting your body do things too... but, we all know it's your decision and respect that.

I'm one of those that can't WAIT to find out what we're having... I'm VERY, VERY impatient, so waiting just isn't an option for me. ;)

We found out with our daughter and definitely intend to find out with this one. I HAVE to have everything ready ahead of time...in fact, with my daughter I had everything ready by 35 weeks just in case she decided to come early.

With my first I wanted to find out, but DH said he didn't; that there were few true surprises in life, and this was one of them. So we picked out two names and waited till the baby was born to find out.

With my second I wanted to find out lol. Since DH got to choose the first time, I chose to find out the second time at my Level II u/s (A.M.A. stamped on my file, lol.) So with my daughter, we found out ahead of time. Funny thing is that I was really surprised it was a girl because DH's family seems to run strong with the boys and I was fully expecting a little "Ben", not a girl!! So we picked out two names (just in case they were wrong, lol).



If you want my opinion, there's nothing like finding out right when your baby is born if you have a boy or a girl. Saaaaayy, why not experience it both ways and get back to us on which way you like better??! :mrgreen:

No ultrasounds for us, so we didn't find out until the birth. It was a lot of fun!

Hmmm... hunch is you'd prefer the surprise? (I'd probably want to know myself, but maybe only for the first!)

We decided to find the sex both times....I am SUCH the planner! LOL...
I also go garage saling and getting unisex stuff is hard, so it made it easier to buy stuff chceaper and save money which we need!

We did not find out with our son. It was such a wonderful surprise!

When we had the ultrasound we told the technician we didn't want to know. As we were leaving he said I don't think I printed off the pictures with any boy parts or girl parts....so after we had him and he was a boy I always wondered if he was really telling us or trying to trick us.

I am also a huge garage saler. That was one reason I was going to find out; caz I'm due in October so we'd have to go a whole winter before the next garage sale season. I think what I'll do is buy enough boy stuff to get us through next year, just in case it's a boy. If not, I'll have the stuff for if we ever have a boy. (and if we never do, I'll just re-garage sale the stuff :) If it's a girl, we don't need to worry about buying anymore; we have a ton from dd, stuff she never even wore.

Obviously, I'm really leaning towards not finding out. Last time I felt like there was such a connection with my dd when she was born because I'd known she was a girl for so long and we always talked about her by name. Please tell me I'd still have that instant bond even if I didn't know ahead of time.......

We found out the sex of my dd but with my ds we didn't and I preferred that more. I really liked the surprise, and we told the midwives not to announce the baby's sex at birth bcuz we wanted to discover that for ourselves. Once I pushed ds out, dh yelled in excitement "Babe, it's a boy!" And that for me was one of those priceless moments. For him to be the one to discover it and to tell me with such excitement was amazing.

As for the VBAC, I too want to encourage you. I had a c-section with my first. Her head was tilted the wrong way too, so after 20hrs of labor it was an emergency section. With my ds I had always decided on VBAC'ing. The midwives here were very encouraging. I had a wonderful and successful VBAC that was the most amazing experience that I've ever had. I was walking on cloud nine for several months afterward. The chances of your next baby's head being in the wrong position is less than 2%. And the chances of a Uterine Rupture is also just as low. Actually, women who haven't had c-secs can still have uterine rupture but no-one tells you that, they always put the focus on c-secs. But in any case, the risk is low. I would suggest just researching the subject. My doula lent me a book about VBAC's (can't remember the name of it), but it was really encouraging. It had statistics for both VBAC and repeat c-secs. I'll see if I can get the name of it and let you know. Check out www.spinningbabies.com for ways to help baby settle into the right position so that you help yourself even more to avoid the head tilting wrong, but it's still highly improbable. If you want to chat more about VBAC, feel free to pm me. Hope that helps some!:-D

We have found out both times. It took us so long to actually have a baby stay here on earth with us, that I just couldn't wait any longer. With Noah, we had the amnio, so why not find out by his genetics....can't deny those XY genes! Haahaa
Now that I know how I am as a laboring and delivering woman I don't think I would even care that I was going to find out soon what the sex is, I totally go into my "zone" and am sure I wouldn't even remember to look for a long time....so the surprise seems actually bigger for me, or more meaningful for me when I find out inutero.
Also having Noah with his defects, knowing his sex, giving him his name, made it more real to me. Helped me bond with him while I still had him.

I have talked to Dh about maybe not finding out if we are blessed with one of each at home and get pg again, but I am sure I would end up wanting to know!

Do look into a VBAC if you feel the Lord leading you to it, but know you are supported anyway that baby comes out!

Blessings,
Amber

I found out with both of mine, for the purpose of being prepared and also as you mentioned it helped me bond, especially with my second. Both times it was confirmation of what I already thought I knew :) So no surprises, but that's what has wroked for me.

As fas as VBAC, how many weeks were you with your first? It almost sounds like it wasn't quite time? With my ds, I was induced because my water broke and after 24 hours they said I had to be induced. Come to find out, I could have waited a while longer for natural labor to occur, but hindsight is always 20/20... With my dd, labor began at home and I gave birth just a couple hours after arriving at the hospital; it was a much more relaxed experience this way. Pitocin really stressed me out and I have read that it is normal for induction labor to be longer than regular, don't know why since it is supposed to accelerate. All that to agree with the point that each pregnancy/labor/delivery can be truly different. With my second, I had no involvement/interference from the father, so looked a lot more into home birthing, but I would have wanted someone to attend (besides my then 2yo son). My sister offered but is a frequent heavy drinker so I didn't feel I could count on her and couldn't find anyone (doula, midwife, etc.) that could accept my medical insurance or that I could afford. I remember clearly a day that I sat for a long time in my bedroom thinking and talking about how a home birth could work, but I didn't have the resources to make it happen :( Nonetheless, I am always inspired and amazed by home birthing women :) It ironic that that most hospitals now make their L&D departments as "homey" as possible ;)

And, hello and welcome; I saw your first post but don't think I have said hi and welcome yet :)

I don't find out. Haven't with any of them.

But then, I don't receive 'standard' prenatal care in which there are routine ultrasounds and thereby don't even have that temptation. :) So, it's all worked out nicely I guess.

This is how it was with us. We never knew what we were having until he/she arrived. :-D

Ditto all that Tara said, except for liking the surprise aspect. If there was a natural, non-invasive way to find out the sex I would totally have to know!

As fas as VBAC, how many weeks were you with your first? It almost sounds like it wasn't quite time?

I was 40 weeks; she was born on her due date! My contractions were strong, close together and regular for several hours and wouldn't lighten up with walking, showering..... So I guess that's how they knew I was in real labor and it was 'time'. So I was just at 3 cm but they broke my water for me anyway hoping that would help the whole dilating thing.... it didn't. Then they started the Pitocin and you know the story from there. I do often wonder how it would have gone with no intervention (breaking my water and the pitocin) I guess there's no use dwelling on what could have been; just try to plan for next time!

I found out with all my three children via U/S
With this pregnancy I actually want to find out when the baby comes. Now that we have one of each, I owuld be happy with whatever gender the Lord blesses us with.
Anywasy this time we're planning a homebirth so I figure there will be a U/S only if things seem iffy so I'm hoping I can hold on until then. Dh wants to know really bad.

We were surprised with our first. We decided not to find out.....but since just about everybody does know ahead of time these days, they didn't say one way or another when she was born! :-D I had to tell DH to go look at the baby- so he's the one who got to tell me, "It's a girl!"

With our second pregnancy, we found out at 11 weeks that we were expecting twins.....that was enough of a surprise to last us quite a while (they're 2 now, and some days I'm still surprised!)
[rofl]

So needless to say, with the twins we found out ahead of time that they were boys. :-D

I was really torn with our decision with Maddy. I wanted for it to be a surprise...Hubby wanted to know...I'm glad that we found out...it was so much fun buying all girly things instead of all yellows and greens. I think that it was really nice to find out...and we'll probably find out with this next one too! ;) :D

...and we'll probably find out with this next one too! ;) :D

Chels, I noticed how you worded this. If you don't mind me being so nosy as to ask, are congratulations in order? :D

Chels, I noticed how you worded this. If you don't mind me being so nosy as to ask, are congratulations in order? :D

Perhaps ;)

(Sorry so off topic [halo])

the neurotic over-planner in me wanted to find out, but we waited until his birthday to find out and it was the biggest blessing. Without intentionally offending anybody, the friends/family who have the gender, name and date (b/c of c-sec) only have weight and time to report and it is very anti-climactic. (every birth is a blessing

i would also like to throw in my encouragement for vbac! I don't have experience with it, but the research I've done definately indicates advantages for babies to go through the labour process: hormones stimulate brain function for breathing, body temp reg etc.

www.ican-online.org

Some hints for avoiding augmentation or induction... move alot during labour (stay out of bed in early labour and as much as possible when in active, it's for sick people hehe :))- being upright and pelvic opening positions help baby move through the birth canal.
Stay way from the hospital as long as you can- labouring in a familiar, safe environment with fewer distractions will help to keep things moving.
Consider getting a support person (ie: doula or similarily minded family member/friend) who can help you and help hubby help you. www.dona.org to find a certified doula near you.
Want more ideas, I'd be happy to share.
d:)

Perhaps ;)

(Sorry so off topic [halo])


Well when do we get to find out?????[claploud]

and we'll probably find out with this next one too


I want to know, too!!!!

Well when do we get to find out?????[claploud]


You haven't figured it out yet!? :mrgreen: ;)

You haven't figured it out yet!? :mrgreen: ;)

Okay, wait a minute...so your preggo?!? :???: No way!:-D Congrats Chels!:mrgreen:

WooHoo!!! Congrats!!!

Just to update the original post... We are not going to find out what this one is. Took a little convincing for dh but it all worked out. Going for the big finale surprise this time. Also, I'm going to talk to my dr at my next appt about the option of a VBAC. Please keep this in your prayers, I still have my concerns but feel like this is definitely something I need to look into further. thanks!

Will be praying for you!