I Don't Know if I Can Do This

[cjropher]

Tomorrow morning at 6 am, my brother-in-law is loading up his pick up with his stuff and my 4 year old and driving 12 hours to see his parents. [crytantrum] The last time I sent ds to see my brother was 2 years ago and I was a wreck. Dh had to drive me 2 hours up to get ds early because I couldn't handle it. Will I be able to this time? Ds is so excited. He can't wait. He's up right now ready to go [crytantrum]. I asked him if he will miss me. He said no [crytantrum]. I miss him already. He will be gone until Tuesday [crytantrum]. He will miss his brother's first birthday "but that's okay Mom, cause I can see what he gets when I come back." [crytantrum] Dh and bil, and likely my in-laws think I'm over-reacting but [crytantrum] I don't see any of them sending their 4 year old to another province. [crytantrum]. Okay, dh is but that's different. I'll be home all day tomorrow without him and Friday and Saturday and Monday. [crytantrum]. I'll keep you posted. There's no way I can go get him early this time.

I went to get some stuff from his room for his trip and he jumped up, "is it time to go yet?" It's 10:30 at night. He is up with dh right now watching TV. He is so excited. [crytantrum] Did I mention he's 4. I tried to explain to him that he's still my little boy. "Actually mom, I'm a big boy." [crytantrum].

The funny thing is that I know he is in excellent hands and they will take care of him and he will have a wonderful time. But [crytantrum] I will miss him. 5 days is a long time. It's actually 6 I guess. That's like a week less a day!

[crytantrum][crytantrum][crytantrum][crytantrum][crytantrum][crytantrum]

...Next time he drives me nuts, I'm sure you will all love pointing me to this thread!!! Thanks for listening!

[Phyll]

I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time with your little guy leaving. I don't think you are overreacting. I will be praying for you during this time!

[cjropher]

I had my little cry tonight. He's still safe in his bed but he has to leave in 5 hours. It's a long trip. It's scary. To make things worse, I was reading Job 1-3. Job loses all his kids. Yikes. So I had me a little cry. Then I prayed about it. It's late at night and so everything seems worse. Yes something bad might happen and it would be awful. But he's no safer with my bil than with me. I have to give him up to God and that's really scary. But I have to let go and amazingly, God loves him even more than I do. So ds is in very good hands. Still, His ways aren't always my ways and I don't always see eye to eye with God though I'm learning. But I'm off to bed with the comfort of knowing that God will be with ds regardless and that he's in the best place he can be, safe in the arms of Jesus. I do appreciate your prayers though. For ds' (and bil) safety when travelling, as well as strenght and courage for me facing a week without him. And for my in-laws for sanity [rotfl]. Better pray that for bil as well. Total of 24 hours (12 there and 12 back) with someone who questions everything and then will tell you that you are wrong and will explain how it works [rotfl] I'll let you know how tomorrow morning goes!

Awe Jay, I'll be praying you get through it...

I could never do it...Right after Angela got out of the NICU, I got the flu for the first time ever and my MIL came to pick my baby up because she was to be quarantined for 3mo.......I cried and cried and cried the whole time we were apart.I left early to go get her, ran out of gas, had to walk the highway less than a month after my c-section, was chased by a trucker who wanted me to hop on up in his truck and he'd give me a ride..this in turn made me run across a 4lane highway and then keep running till i reached my hubby's tattoo shop hang out which was a quarter up the highway and then I had to seek help from these scarey looking fellows that knew my hubby...Finally hubby took me to MIL's and I had my baby in my arms once again!!

...To this day, I can't let her go far from me....My sis is 5hrs away and keeps begging for her to go there....I just can't do it....So I don't think you're overreacting....I'll be praying

[luvmy4sons]

That would be so hard! I can't imagine it! Can I ask why you aren't going too?

[cjropher]

hi i get to go with my uncle

[cjropher]

Ds had to type something :) he's not gone just yet, though climbing the walls he's so excited.

I'm not going as well because it's just my brother-in-law who is going and we thought that ds would enjoy seeing his grandparents. Besides that, dh can't go and my bil's truck only sits three so I couldn't take the baby so it wouldn't work. And I broke my van yesterday :roll:

So far, I've done okay this morning. Ds has been so happy. He was up last night ready to go and this morning he's been so hyper! It's only 6 am here, he's been up since 5 so he could say goodbye to his dad!

I better go help him get loaded, looks like bil is ready!

[cjropher]

Well they are off. So far no tears. This is hard though. I'm going to miss my boy. I better start doing stuff so that I can forget about it for a bit. It's a 12 hour trip so my poor bil will be talked to death!!!

Ds told me to go away so that they could leave. How come he doesn't have separation anxiety? :) I can do this!

[cjropher]

Well I've killed 2 hours here trying to find a ticker with hours and minutes on it. No such luck. Well except this one and it's not quite right, but ti will work!!!

They came back a few minutes after they left, my bil forgot some stuff! DS was still thrilled to be going. I made sure bil knew not to leave him at the table in a resturaunt or anything by himself. I trust bil, not worried about that, but he doesn't have kids. I'd rather him overly careful than not enough. Only 10 hours until they get there I hope!!!

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Like I said, it's not really perfect but it will work unless someone can figure out a better one for me!!! I'm hoping my date is correct. Bil is notorious for not coming back when he says. But I'm not too worried, he works for us and eventually has to come back to work. However, a few extra days will be pretty painful for me I think!

But so far so good. Maybe I can do this!!!

[luvmy4sons]

Big hug mom! :D Good for you trusting God with your little boy and letting him have this fun experience! It will build faith in you and he will have a great time! Here's another hug [hug] It has to be so hard! I barely did it with a 16 year old to Mexico this summer! But it will all be okay and over soon. :P Praying for ya! [prayer]

[cjropher]

Thanks Leslie. I can do this and I know he will have a blast. He is so excited. I can't wait to hear about it. I kind of feel like I'm missing out on his experiences. When he started play school last year, it was hard that he didn't tell me everything at once! But I got used to it. I'll manage and just love on my youngest a bit extra!

[Godzgirl]

[hug] Hugs to you girl! I know how hard it can be to be without your babies. :( I had to leave my daughter when she was 2 yrs. old with my in-laws for a week. My husband had a business conference in flordia and he wanted me to go with him. So off i went to flordia and left my baby in California. I had left her before like over the weekend (which was also hard) but this time it was longer and way farther. I was a little worried and sad because if i wanted to get to her i couldn't just drive to her i would actually have to get on a plane. The time went by though and i made it. It also gave me some alone time with dh. And it was good to know that she was in good hands and being loved. :D Your ds will be fine and so will you. Take this time to have some alone time with your other little one. [lovesmile]

[cjropher]

Check out the countdown. Only 4 days and 23 hours left. They arrived safe and sound this evening. Mil called to let me know and I spoke to ds for about 30 seconds and my phone died :( but I called back and mil asked ds if he wanted to talk and I heard him say, "no, I already talked to her." :( He's just thrilled.

It was actually a good day. I can do this. I miss him yes, but it's like a little holiday too. Think I'll go to bed early tonight. My boy will come home more quickly if I sleep while he's gone too!

[7thHeaven]

Ohhh, Sweetie, I'm sorry your baby isn't home with you. Praying for him & you!

You are doing great!! [hug] Big Hugs to you!!!!!

I can imagine how excited he is to see his gparents. Keep us posted on how his trip goes. I'll be praying for a safe and speedy return!

[cjropher]

Got an e-mail from mil today and he's been having fun. He's got his grandma wrapped around his little finger. She had to stop her e-mail because her minute was up and she had to go play again. I know he would say that too :roll: The e-mail made me miss him a bit but he's happy there.

What's worse, he is so happy playing that he doesn't want to talk to me or him so homesick that he's on the phone crying and I can't do anything about it? I know the answer to that. While he's happy, I miss him but I can handle it. To have to hear him cry and know that I can do nothing 1200 km away, well that would break my heart. So I'll be a little misty eyed reading the e-mails and miss him and wish I could see him doing what he's doing. But at the same time glad that he's enjoying himself without me and that he's happy because I guess that's what I want.

Though I really want him back here right now. Tuesday seems a long way away.

[love2bmom]

Sweetie send you some great big hugs. [hug] [hug]

I am proud of you.. your holding up like a real trooper. It is hard. When I was having my DD they weren't allowing children under 12 to the hospital. I was ready to have a panic attack thinking about several days without my DS. Thank the Lord I was only in the hospital for 24 hours after delivery.... no to bad.

It's ok to miss our kids!! Shows we care!!

[cjropher]

Thanks all. I'm doing it. Dh said to me today that he doesn't know if he's exactly something to be proud of but I'm handling him not here really well. I'm proud of me!!! It's going well and really, with my other one here, it's no where near like it was the first time he was gone. That was terrible. I was tears wherever I went, it was so hard. But this time, I'm okay. He's having a blast too.

So funny, dh told me that growing up, his dad said that they would not be free babysitters, etc. etc. etc. It was a long list of stuff that they wouldn't do. So when ds asks my mil if he can come stay for a while, what does my fil do? Brings home a kids electric jeep for ds to ride in, plans a trip to a train park, etc. etc. etc. Hmmm, nothing like grandkids eh? LOL, I think it's cute, dh is shocked at the turn around. But we live 12 hours away and so they don't see much of my boys. So it makes sense that this is a treat. If we lived next door and always sent him over, I can see that standpoint that they don't want to be taken advantage of. But being 12 hours away, we hardly take advantage of them!

[love2bmom]

It is such a different ball game when it comes to the grandparents. My kids are "loved". My mom & MIL get treat my kids to everything, well within reason. My mom loads kids up with sugar & doesn't worry about it. Oh well, you live once. Our parents adore our kids & it is wonderful.

[cjropher]

That's our attitude too. I know my parents and in-laws love my children and won't do anything to physically harm them. So if they spoil them rotten, I let them. I figure that they raised dh and I so they must have done something right and I don't worry about it.

That being said, if they lived really close so that we saw them all the time and the boys were there often, then I think I would draw some lines about rules anyway. I think I would still allow all the sugar they could eat over there, but the rules thing, well grandparents can be lax. It depends imo on how much time they see them. Like I said, my parents and in-laws only see my boys a few times a year. I want them to have the freedom to build good relationships however they choose.

Still, I know my parents and dh says his parents weren't that nice to us when we were ds' age!!! LOL, parents sure change when they become grandparents!

DS had a great day today I hear. He talked to me for a few minutes. I asked him what the best part of today was and he said everything! He has been having a great time and isn't all that interested in talking to us, there is too much to do. That's just as well because I don't want him homesick. He comes home on Tuesday. Just under 3 days away according to my ticker posted earlier in this thread.

I'm doing pretty good. I miss him but some stuff is just easier without him! I'll see him in a few days though. It's all good.

[cjropher]

http://www.caribbeanmag.com/cd/WHEN_DS_GETS_HOME!!!!/200608222100_1.gif

[dancing] [dancing] [dancing] [dancing] [dancing] DS COMES HOME TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I did it!
I did it!
I didn't think I could
But I did it!!!

Got an e-mail from my mil and they left about 7:00 their time (8:00 my time) so I expect them around 9:00 tonight!

I'm so excited! Now to go about my day as if it's normal!

Yeah right!

[dancing] [dancing] [dancing] [dancing] [dancing] DS COMES HOME TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, did I mention that DS gets home today? If not, he does!!! [rofl] I'm just a teeny bit excited!
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[cjropher]

Ds got home safely last night and hasn't stopped talking. It's wonderful to have him home. My 1 year old is thrilled to have him home too. Today in the van, both boys were sleeping and my 1year old woke up, reached over and grabbed my 4 year olds hand and was holding it. So cute. I made it. I did it. He's home! My baby's home!