Payton is just a week old and I'm not sure what to do about his sleeping situation. Being a first-time mommy I have let him sleep in our bed with me. I have been both criticized and applauded for this by different sources and now DH and I are not sure what to do. I love to cuddle with my little guy and feel that I can meet his needs with him in my bed. I sleep fairly light though and don't feel I'm getting the sleep I could if he were in his bassinet. I've heard that it isn't safe to co-sleep AND I've heard that co-sleeping is safer than having them sleep on their own. :( I'm rather confused.

For naps he sleeps on his own in the living room but he does not like to lay in his bassinet at night, he cries. My discernment tells me that he's not quite old enough to cry it out. I have heard a few of you mention the book The No Cry Sleep Solution but does this apply to newborns?! Also, what is your experience with this? Did you let your newborn sleep with you for the first little while and then successfully get them to sleep in the bassinet or crib?

Any advice/encouragement would be helpful as I am very torn about this. I tried doing a search on this topic and couldn't find anything. If there is a good thread about it, please point me in that direction.

Jessy

Congratulations on your new baby, Jessy. [hug]

IMO, the very bottom line is that you must do what works for you and your baby, and that can take some time to figure out. What works well for one family doesn't necessarily work well for another. You'll make some of the biggest adjustments of your life during the first few months of being a first time mother. It's all about trial and error and working it out. I prayed constantly, and I also asked for my hubby's opinion on many things.

As for sleeping arrangements; with our first, I really wanted the baby right next to me at night (couldn't bear to be away from him). We tried sleeping with him in our bed, but hubby was against it and I simply could not sleep. Too many changes for me all at once. Then, I put him in the cradle right next to me. Did that for two weeks. Loved having him there... didn't sleep a wink. LOL! Every time he moved his head, I heard him. At three weeks old, he went in his bed in his nursery. All was well. For the next three kids, they each spent a few weeks in the cradle in our room, then to their nurseries.

I know many people who've done the co-sleeping thing and really enjoyed it. It's all about what's going to work for you, your hubby, and baby. God will help you with that decision and the adjustments. [lovesmile]

Blessings!

XOXOXO
[lovesign]

Joy [welcomewave]

I didn't co-sleep with my first, but we would nurse to sleep and she would be fine alone after that. We moved her out of our room at 3 months.

With this one we co-sleep maybe half the time. :-) He is going on 4 months and will probably be in our room for a few more weeks (or months?!) he seems more insecure than his older sister was. So, I have no problem giving him that extra cuddle time at night.

You have to do what feels right for you and your baby. If you are co-sleeping make sure there is no chance of the baby suffocating or rolling off the edge. They make special pillows for the baby so they won't roll off. and make sure there's no huge, ridiculous fluffy thing on your bed that could suffocate.... etc.... just common-sense type stuff. I usually roll a blanket into a hard roll and tuck it under the fitted sheet, so he can't roll past there. Otherwise, I put him on the inside of the bed, so he can't fall off. It works for us. Usually i have my arm over him anyway so I am like *ZING* awake at the slightest movement LOL.

Congrats on your little one! I think if something doesn't feel right to you, then dont do it. And if something does feel right to you, then do it! You are going to get all kinds of advice & comments from well-intended people.. but one thing I do advise you on is not listening to anyone's comments about whether what you're doing is right or wrong.
If it feels right to have baby with you, then do it! I did - b/c mine was the same as you - they slept well for naps by themselves, but not at nighttime - so we co-slept & I didn't regret it one bit. They moved out of our beds when they were ready (or we were).

I do think the No Cry Sleep Solution is an excellent book to read at any age. The getting them to sleep stuff doesn't start till around 4 months-6 I believe, but it is a great insight into HOW babies sleep.

Just enjoy your baby & nap with him every single chance you get.. even if the house isn't clean! just enjoy your "baby moon!!"

:-)

I agree with pp. As a new mom myself I have had to learn (still am) how not to let what people say bug me. I have found that I get as much greif from strangers as I do (if not more) from family. The family *advise* is so much harder to listen to. You have to do what is right for YOUR family. As a new mom and with all those hormones you need to do what will make you (and your hubby) happy.

As for me, we co-slept with an arms reach co-sleeper for the first 3 months. Now ds sleeps in a crib in our room. For us we are so happy doing it this way because I get stressed out about something going wrong. So for us this was and is the best. Dh and I have always slept fine...maybe a little lighter, but we slept fairly well for being new parents so it never bothered us having him there. You will always have conflicting things, so just listen to your heart, your a mommy and you DO have those instincts, just wait you will see! Also no-cry sleep solution is a great book and you can start reading it and trying things out now even though babies don't usually slepp all night until 4 or so months, she also has a section on cosleeping.

Thanks so much ladies! It's encouraging to hear that some of you co-slept and have successfully gotten them into their own bassinets/cribs before toddler age. :) I don't know what I would do without all of your great knowledge and advice!

A second question. At this point (Payton is only a week old) how do I go about getting him to sleep in his bassinet? We lay him in there at night but he just cries. DH and I are concerned because we do not want to co-sleep with a toddler and don't want to let this go on too long and not be able to get him into his own bassinet/crib. We also think he may just be to young at this point. I'm wondering if it wouldn't get easier in a couple weeks or so?!

Thanks again ladies. Please keep your advice coming. I appreciate this so much being a first time mom and all.

Edited to add that I intent on reading the No cry sleep solution. :)

The first couple of months those little ones are so tiny and adjusting to so much! My doctor told me not to have mine cry it out at all at that age...do what comforts them...that is what I did! We did co-sleep....for the first year with both...it worked well for us....go with your heart and gut, people have many opinions, but what matters is what works for you guys best! Right now though, keep him comforted and this will give him the security needed to self-soothe later! Swaddling and a baby cap worked well to help our little one sleep in the bassinet....to be all wrapped up tight like in the womb...music/noise machine helped too...
Good luck! Go with your heart, God lays on our hearts thoughts for a reason....follow them and you follow him as long as you proceed prayerfully! Hang in there, it does get better!

we co-sleep from day one
I want them near me
we all sleep better with the babe with us
I just couldn't imagine NOT having the baby right there with me those first few months. Honestly, I would freak! Mine have all been about 1yr when they move out of our bed. Some a bit earlier, but on average, 1 yr is when we hit that stage of 'no one is sleeping well anymore' so, it's no longer the ideal solution for us. Each babe has then made a seamless transition straight from our bed to their own twin in another room.

But...you have to do what works best for you and your family.

we co-sleep from day one
I want them near me
we all sleep better with the babe with us
I just couldn't imagine NOT having the baby right there with me those first few months. Honestly, I would freak! Mine have all been about 1yr when they move out of our bed. Some a bit earlier, but on average, 1 yr is when we hit that stage of 'no one is sleeping well anymore' so, it's no longer the ideal solution for us. Each babe has then made a seamless transition straight from our bed to their own twin in another room.

But...you have to do what works best for you and your family. I agree completely! .... except about the 1 year part, LOL. I don't disagree either, but in our sitch, we go more off of when the lo is ready, vs. the 1 year mark...our DS#2 is almost 2, and sleeps on his bed on the floor next to ours right now, but he's transitioning out of our room and into his brother's room. He's a late teether, and he has ALOT of pain from it, so its easier to parent him through those episodes in our room so I can just tuck him in next to me and we all get more sleep.

My best advice to you, MommyJessy, would be to follow your heart and give your lo what he needs.

As far as the bassinet thing goes, if you want him to sleep in that next to your bed instead of co-sleeping, that's totally fine. Try throwing his sheet and the mattress pad in the dryer for a few minutes to warm them up before putting him down for the night...just make sure they're not too hot. Or maybe warm up baby's spot with a low heat setting on a heating pad and pull out the pad right before you lay baby down in the bassinet...and check the temp before you lay him down. If you lay him down in a warm spot, he's more likely to think he's next to you. Just don't use really fluffy bedding or anything next to him that he could smother on.

Great ideas ladies. I think I will try to warm his bassinet sheet a bit and give him his lullaby teddy bear :) I also need to start a routine, even though he won't catch on yet I think it will help when he is old enough to get it.

Just a note, I am NOT against co-sleeping, it's just that our bed is small and we are not sleeping well at all. I am also a bit worried about him getting something over his nose or getting rolled on so I don't really "sleep". I'm not ready to let him go to his crib in his room but I think the bassinet right next to my bed would be ideal.

Thanks a bunch ladies, we shall see how it goes tonight, although I'm not going to push anything on him. :)

We did not co-sleep with ds. I am the type of mommy that *needs* sleep. If I don't get 8+ hours on a regular basis, I'm a zombie-mommy!

The first few weeks of ds's life, I held him all the time except at night. He got used to me holding him for naps, and feedings and all the in-between times. I didn't have anything else to do - it was great! Then dh went back to work and my mom went home and I was left alone. I wanted to put him down for naps - he didn't like this because he was used to being held all.the.time. It took quite a while for me to get him used to sleeping on his own. This was a VERY HARD time for us. But, in the end, it was what we needed to do.

He was in a cradle in our room for 5-6 weeks then went into his crib in his room. We slept him on his side and had a great monitor.

Hope you find something that works for you soon!

are you trying to nursebottle feed to sleep? that might help, also make sure you swaddle and TIGHT. Do you shhhhh? Also if they your lo is really screaming it could be colic...if you think that might be it call your md he can give you some gas med. (I know my bab has gas when he is fine upright but screams-even in your arms-when you are laying down or reclined back. Also since you lo has his days and nights confused, you might be trying to put your lo down too early.

Much of what I would say has been said by other posters, so I'll just ditto a lot of the other comments about following your mommy instincts, etc.

Do read the No Cry Sleep Solution, I dearly wish that I had read it when my daughter was that age because it has a plan that you can personalize for your newborn baby, so that you can get off to a good start and avoid pitfalls. It's not only for babies who are physically capable of sleeping all night, but it has good advice for all mommies/babies.

We did co-sleep and overall it was a good experience. However, there are a few points that I would do differently next time around.

Looking back, if I had it to do over again, I would have taught DD how to go into her own bed to start the night out, and then would have taken her into bed with me when I went to bed. One of the major stresses for me was *always* having to be in bed, so that she would go to sleep and having her not know how to sleep in her own bed. If I had put her in her crib say at 8:00 PM, then until 10:00 PM, DH and I could have couple time, then she could come in bed with us. KWIM? And I would have done a better bedtime/naptime routine. Also, I would have starting transitioning her to sleeping on her own a few months sooner.

But with that said, if we have another baby, I will co-sleep, I will just do the modifications that I mentioned above, so that I won't be living in perpetual stress mode when it comes to private time and time to get things done. As long as I do the above things, I think that co-sleeping will work better than separate sleeping for our family, as I believe that babies, especially breastfed babies need night feedings for quite a long time and I do not do well with sleep deprivation! It's much easier to roll over, offer the breast, and go back to sleep. :) Also, I love the snuggle time. It's so precious and they're only babies once.

As for safety, when Hannah was little, we used a mesh guardrail from Safety First for the side of the bed. It locks into place over the mattress and leaves no gaps for the baby to get caught in.

My daughter is now turning 18 months old and we're sleeping on a mattress in her room, and she's sleeping in her crib. We will stay in her room until she is sleeping through the night consistently and then gradually move ourselves back to our room.

I never co-slept with my dd but have co-slept with ds from day one. I never had intentions of co-sleeping, but after bringing Micah home from hospital he would just cry everytime you put him in his bassinet and I mean scream/cry. So in the bed he came and we all slept better. And he's still there. I do have intentions of trying to get him to sleep in his own bed soon (in our room), bcuz embarrasingly enough dh is currently sleeping in the living room and me and Micah have the bed bcuz our bed is too small for the 3 of us and dh says that he doesn't sleep good with Micah getting up so frequently to feed (he was used to Abby STTN from 5wks old). I miss dh and Micah isn't sleeping right next to me in the bed so I think he might transition to his own bed quite easily. At the moment, it's the convenience of Micah being so close to feed him in the middle of the night, but dh shouldn't have to sleep in the living room. Anyway, all that to say, go with your gut and tell everyone else to zip it. If you all get better sleep with Peyton co-sleeping then by all means, go for it!! As for the getting him to sleep in his bassinet after co-sleeping, I'll let you know how that goes in a couple of weeks:-D

Have you tried one of those co-sleeper things that 4hisglory was talking about? I believe it's like a separate little bed that atttaches to the side of a big bed. Taht way you could still have your arm around your baby, but there would be more room in your bed and you wouldn't have to worry so much about him rolling into you or whatever.
Another thing that might help him sleep better, along with swaddling, is laying him on his tummy. My children slept better that way, it seemed to make them feel more secure. However, I know some people say there's an increased risk of SIDS that way.
HUGS to you! Those first couple months are kinda crazy, til you get your baby figured out a little more!

Our oldest co-slept with us for his first year and has been fine in his own bed for a while now (he is 3). The baby has co-slept with us since the beginning and in a few mos we will begin to transition him, also. He is a bit clingier than his brother was so I expect his transition to take a little longer, and that is ok.
For safety we either do not use blankets/wear warm pjs instead or only cover our lower legs with blankets (and tuck the blankets between knees/under legs) so that no part of the blanket is accessible to the baby (we keep him higher up)- dh and I use seperate blankets, too, so the middle of the bed where the baby goes is blanket-free.

I agree that you may want a co-sleeper that attaches to the bed; I tried that with my oldest bec we got one as a gift but it didn't line up with our bed (our mattress was much higher than the sleeper) and we didn't feel it was necessary to buy the stilt attachments to make it level with our bed. We ended up using the sleeper as a pack n' play during the day instead. The co-sleeper does have to be made level with your mattress to really work from what I understand - otherwise you cannot nurse him in there.