This post is in regards to dealing with others when it comes to your child's food intake. My desire is to get Hannah eating three regular meals a day and not to be constantly grazing and nibbling. Not that we're there yet, but we're working on it.

My MIL on the other hand, always wants to give the baby food! If Hannah fusses, that's the first thing that she thinks of, that the little girl must be hungry! If I mention trying to get Hannah on a meal schedule or trying to avoid giving her something in between meals when MIL thinks she hungry, I get frowned on. Now I understand that MIL came from a family of 9 kids, where food was scarce, so that's probably part of it.

MIL watches Hannah one day a week and we go over to her house periodically. How can I lovingly and tactfully work around MIL and try to teach Hannah more structured mealtimes? How can I discourage constant snacking without alienating my beloved in-laws? I love my MIL to pieces and don't want to hurt her feelings.

I have no advice to offer as far as mils are concerned, but I know exactly how you are feeling (to this day I cannot dress my 5 year old daughter how I want when I want!!!) and I am praying for guidence.

Kids five and under, especially those 2 and under...are changing sooo fast! We don't even see it! Brain development, organ growth, bone growth, etc....just the constant learning of new things depleats them!
I agree that food should not be the first response to every whine/cry...but 3 meals is a little stiff for kids under five....even the pediatricians I know have recommended to us to start going to 3 normal set meals, but to include a healthy mid morning snack and a healthy late afternoon snack.....and if you are exerting a lot of energy or sweating a lot, to up the snack size and add water/gatorade mix to the playtime to keep their electolytes up, energy coming, and preventing dehydration...This gets them their needed calorie/fat intake, but doesn't ruin them for the regular meal times because they fill up on constant snacks from bites here and bites there allll day long! ;-)
One suggestion I had, is to try filling them up with a drink first at snack time....a glass of milk/water/whatever they drink... and then some fruit or what have you.....keeps the fluids up and a little brain/energy food too!

In order to accomplish this at your MIL...what if you pack her a bag with her snacks in them? She can do lunch so she doesn't feel "put out", but say you're really working on teaching healthy snacking and that you think this is important and if she gets hungry, to give her those...one mid-morning and one late afternoon?? You could use the argument that healthy eating habbits start very young and you want her to be healthy as an adult! Also, tell her she's not getting the good things at meals she should because she's filling up on snacks at other times.........if this still doesn't work with a schedule.....maybe just draw up an "approved" snack list that she can choose from to use so you know it's all healthy at least....fruits/raw veggies/whole wheat veggie crackers/a piece of low fat cheese/a glass of milk/etc....
Good luck, it's tricky working with family sometimes because you know they mean the best, but still it feels like you are biting your tongue! LOL

I agree....our peds have told us that little ones' stomachs are not capable of just eating three times a day and that they need to have healthy (that is the key) snacks throughout the day so that they are getting the nutrition they need plus are satisfying their need to chew and suck. I know my three and a half year old is happier and actually even sleeps better when he has snacks here and there throughout the day instead of just eating at mealtime.

Actually, even if she only eats at mealtimes, she still gets milk (breastfeeding) in between meals so she should probably be fine! :) I'll have to keep trying to work out the best plan for her food intake though.

yeah, milk and breastfeeding between should take the "snack" place of most kiddos that age...you're right! Good luck!

Maybe if you pack some healthy snacks for Hannah and then write down a schedule where she is eating every 2-3 hours then your MIL would be able to stick to things better.

I don't have any fabulous suggestions- I would encourage you, however, that I don't really think your MIL watching her once a week is going to interfere with Hannah learning a new schedule.

You are still her primary caregiver- you are still managing her schedule 90% of the time. If things are a little different at MIL's, I think Hannah will probably be fine. For example, my boys always fall asleep in the church nursery on Sunday mornings at about 11:30 AM- even though their normal naptime is 2 PM! It's just a one-day-a-week thing.

If you have an otherwise great relationship with your MIL, I wouldn't stress this one. Save the conflict for an area where you find yourself really needing to stand your ground.

Best wishes to you whatever you decide! :-D