Disobedient 26 m/o

[Gracie]

4 days ago I had to leave 26mo DD with a neighbor for 5 hours and ever since shes been acting OUT OF CONTROL. Anything that was normal before it a huge ordeal now. She only wants to run around naked and refuses...absolutely refuses to put on a diaper or clothes. Her behovior is just out of contorl. Shes throwing things and screaming and crying for the smallest things. I have welts on my arms from where shes clawed me. I feel so horrible b/c I dont know whats wrong :( This is more than the terrible twos. We have to punish her accordingly, but it seems so out of control. Im really not sure whats going on, or what to do. Ive been a SAHM her whole life and shes hardly ever babysat...maybe 5 times in her life and she HATES it...I doubt anything happened to her there...but shes just acting so out of control right now.

This morning I tried to get her dressed and now DH is in her room with her saying "Diaper Diaper Diaper" and shes SCREAMING her head off. He slaps her hand everytime she goes for the door, I told him to stop that b/c I dont think its effective. I cant take much more of this..

[mamallama]

Wow. :shock: Are you sure nothing happened at the neighbor's house? That would be my first thought - especially with the main concern being that she prefers to be naked with no diaper now. Very disturbing. I will be praying for you and your family.

She was probably just ignored or treated differently than she's used to...My daughter acted this way anytime I picked her up after she stayed with my parents.. :shock:

Don't think the neighbor is your best choice of babysitters...

Praying for your patience and DD to realize she's back and safe and everythings okay..

[AmyB]

Did you start your new job yet, Gracie? Or does she know that you will be starting it soon? If so, it could be a reaction to that...an adjustment period.

[stephwhiz]

I think it may be an adjustment period too. I would talk to the neighbor you left her with about how she has been acting since she stayed with them and just approach it like "Did she act this way at your house?" Don't approach it has if you're accusing them of anything but like you're concerned that she may have misbehaved at their house.

Best of luck!

Stephanie :D

[mamallama]

I do realize that different toddlers react different ways as far as stress or change goes - anything outside of the normal routine. But this is what bothers me:

absolutely refuses to put on a diaper or clothes

Maybe I am just an overprotective mom. But this sends up a red flag to me.

{{{Hugs}} Keep us posted please. :)

[justmeNmine]

It sounds to me like your toddler is stressed out with the recent change in routine... it may be that the person who babysat is more permissive and the taking off her clothes may be one way she is exercising her new found "freedom." I guess I am suggesting that although you should be cautious and learn more about the environment at the sitters, you don't necessarily have to jump to conclusions. I have taken care of several toddlers who have wanted to undress, and none of them were ever sexually abused; my 7 month old daughter discovered the other day (when it was 95 with no AC) how to take her diaper off...

[gen]

Hey, My son acted similarly when we went thru some major traumatic changes in our life when he was about18 months. He would run around the room and just scream, running in circles, refusing to be comforted. My health visitor at the time suggested just letting him get it out and wait with open arms, willing to give him a cuddle when he was ready. We cant do this all the time, there are times obviously when she needs to get her clothes on. But making it a less traumatic thing for her by letting her run around without until she has calmed down enough to put them on. This may make it easier when you need to go out and she needs to have clothes on. They cant understand what they are feeling, and cant communicate to anyone why they are feeling that way. I just let my son get his emotions out.

It may be the adjustment. You did spend sometime away from dh recently didnt you? Any tention in the house you can bet she has sensed, any shouting or arguing... She knows about it and is probably feeling it. You gotta help her thru it, try to understand the world thru the eyes of a little 2yo (its sometimes harder to convince dh of this :roll: I know, but try to communicate this to dh as well). Give her lots of hugs when she wants them, spend time reading to her, give her space and time and attention to work thru the same chages you and dh have been working thru. Bless her cotton socks! (and yours!) :wink:

I think little ones that feel like they're world is out of control and need to adjust to it, try to control what they can...Which is their voices and their diapers and clothes...I've taught many toddlers over the years and they would go for the clothes and diapers when throwing a fit, some of them were biters, and some would throw something or sling themselves down on the floor....Toddlers have a small range of things they can control and from what I've seen will react to change anyway they can...

I wouldn't be too concerned about it...It really just sounds like adjustment...I didn't know about the work thing when I responded earlier..guess I wasn't keeping up :oops:

[Gracie]

I havent started work yet. DD has always had a very strong personality and termperment...ppl usually say shes the happiest baby in the world, or mad all the time :? Thats just her and we love her for it...when she was born, the nurses had atime where they would take the babys away from the moms for a few hours so we could shower, heal, sleep etc...but they would bring her back to me so confused saying that dont know whats wrong and theres nothing they could do...she was just crying SO much, and they said she was so onry. So, shes always been just very "on another level" with the dramatics...But is also a normal child who runs and jumps and plays and laughs and all of that...she is hardly ever away from me and she always thinks Im going to leave her anywhere we go...so if ppl come around she really clings to me. I can understand that....
so when I had to leave the other day, she was watching me leave from a window :( :( ... The lady I left her with is someone who has lived in the neighborhood for years...but recently our DDs (both 2y/o) started playing together having play dates etc...we've both talked about why we lovebeing SAHM and how we would never let anyone watch out kids that we didnt know like at certain home run day cares where ppl are in it for the money. Anyway, she has a beautiful little girl the same age as mine...and whenever I called to check up on them she said DD only cried for 45 min hysterically (thats GOOD for my DD, actually..she can go for hours) shes eating, and playing and dancing etc...but she stressed she didnt want to change her diaper b/c she doesnt know DD that well, and didnt want her to be traumatized or something, and she just wasnt comfortable...so thats fine with me. HEr diaper was loaded when I came to pick her up...she kinda cried when she saw me and then she was fine and just hugged me and fell asleep in my arms. Anyway, yes we spent the night at my moms a week ago, and that was very new for her, but after we came home she was happy to be home and fine.
I regret leaving her with the neighbor now, b.c I have worked so hard not to ever leave her with anyone (which really shelttered her a bit too much, Im afraid) B/c we dont really have friends anyway, and neither does she. So its just been me and her and whenever Daddy comes home for a few hours before bed time. My neighbors hubby was at work the whole day and as far as I know no one came over. She might have an infection I thought...but then after we press her a little and tell her we'll reward her the diaper goes on like nothing, and after a few rewards yesterday she even got back dressed all by herself. So to me, its a little personallity, a little of the "terrible twos" (I hate to say..), and a little traumatization of having been left..and gone at my moms. But she is gettin better and has slept therough the night the past two nights. Thinking about it, she usually sleeps 12 hours with 2, 2 hour naps...I cut out all the naps and let her fall asleep in the living room if she wanted to, b/c nap times were getting to be too much trouble b./c she would cry for the first 15 min etc...so all of that Im sure did it.............Its just so heart breaking to see your child act...like THAT, kwim?? Shes never ever witnessed physical abuse or anything like that etc, thank God...Thanks for all your words. I talked to DH about if he thought maybe the neighbor did something, and he highly doubts it too. We will keep praying though, and maybe I'' casually talk to my neighbor about DDs behavior there.

Thanks for the prayers and advice,....hope today goes a lot better. :)

[Godzgirl]

Hugs to you girl! [hug] I know how difficult it can be. I do think your baby girl may just be adjusting to being left with a baby sitter and all. I remember when my MIL was taking care of Hannah for awhile and since Hannah wasn't used to it she would shriek everytime i left her and cling to me and say NO! It made me feel so bad to leave her. :( It got better after a few months though and now that i'm working part-time she doesn't really cry anymore but the times that i'am home with her i've noticed she is clingy and a little on the whiny side. :? About the whole taking of her clothes thing, Hannah went through that stage also. She would take of her pants and diapers. :roll: She doesn't do that anymore but i noticed she started to do that when i introduced the potty to her. Have you been potty training her? My daughter still does that at times because she doesn't want pull ups. She wants big girl underwear. :roll: :lol: Maybe your daughter is ready to be potty trained? I don't know just throwing out suggestions for ya. Will be praying for ya i know how tough it can be, i'm hoping boys are easier. :wink: :lol: I think girls can be a little more on the dramtic side. I would also talk to your neighbor and ask her how your daughter acts.

[edensmom30]

Wow, when I read this post I thanked God that I was not the only one going through this. I went back to work in March for the first time since DD was born, she is 23 months. I don;t have a set schedule with work but usually work at least one day a week. In the begining DD was going to a home daycare ran by a close friend from our church. DD had been there plenty of times, about once a week for a play date so I thought this would work great. I was wrong!! When I would leave her there we would have to pry her out of my arms kicking, screaming and fighting. I killed me to leave her in such distress. At first I thought it was just seperation anxiety but it continued and when we would get home in the evening DD would throw herself on the floor and cry and whine, almost up until the time she went to bed. Then when it was time for bed she would be hysterical and we couldn't calm her down. I talked to my friend at the daycare and we decided we would try somewhere else to see if that would help.
I ended up talking to my neighbor that has 2 little ones around DD's age and we have become very close. Now DD goes to her house when I work and DD is much happier. We still have a few obstacles now and then but nothing like we use to.

I hope my story helped. Maybe she needs to go to a different sitter. Little ones can sense things we sometimes can't. It has made my work days better for me to know she is happy and content, rather than upset and irrate. Her at home behavior is much better too. Not so many struggles anymore. You are in my prayers.

Gracie, I will be praying for you. It is so hard to see you children like that. I believe it is her way of showing stress of the events that have been going on recently. They pick up on so much more than we realize and it is the only way they have of letting us know they are NOT happy about it. I think it will pass with time. Please keep us updated on her progress.