would this be too humiliating?

[kanaclark]

Gabe is 7. In my opinion, from looking back to how old I was when I was expected to bathe myself and care for myself from a personal hygiene perspective, he should be able to take a CLEANING bath, and change his clothes and wear clean underwear/socks.

I was allowed to sleep in this morning so I didn't see Gabe until he got home. IN dirty pants, no socks, and smelled like a pile of horse manure. I *KNOW* he didn't smell like that last night when I put him to bed, it's all sweat. I'm not worried about why he smells, but why he doesn't bathe good. If I do not MAKE him take a bath tonight, he will smell the same tomorrow, maybe worse [whatwacko]

To kinda share a little TMI about him, when he goes to the potty, he doesn't wipe good, either, so that contributes to his smell.

I was talking with a friend and when her son was that age, she put her bathing suit on and got in the shower with him and supervised. The next night, he didn't clean good, so she put him in the tub with baby soap, and bathed him as if he were one or two. She said after that, he cleaned better than a germ-a-phobe.

anyway, I'm thinking it would be too humiliating, but honestly, I can't take the smell. I KNOW kids notice it. He's said before that a kid called him stinky b-u-t-t, but when he told me that, I asked if it hurt his feelings and he said "no".

anyway, what do you think? any ideas?

[breezykc2]

maybe have the DH do "supervised checks after the shower or a instructional shower" with him so it's not MOM?

[jwright]

uh . . . hmmm . . . Jason just turned 9 and we will go in the bathroom while he's taking his shower and make sure he is using soap. Can you somehow check on him during his bath/shower to make sure he's getting clean or "inspect" him when he gets out? That's about all I have to suggest.

Janell

[rachel]

That or let the peer pressure element kick in over the next year or so.

[kanaclark]

We both check him during the bath and he uses soap, and I "sniff" him all over afterward to make sure, but I think he washes good enough to "cover it up" so to speak. Once he dries and the fragarance dissapates, he smells like he never took a bath.

[gamommyto4girls]

I would suggest either supervising closely or having dh jump in with him at least every other bath. We do the every other bath routine with our 5 and 9 yo's here. After a few times of close supervision maybe let him try and go it alone again. Since I have girls they are a bit more concerned with their outward appearance but I do remember that when I taught elementary school we had many kids who didn't do a great job with hygiene. Other kids can indeed be pretty mean about it.

As a funny aside one of my three brothers once went a month or so using conditioner in his hair instead of shampoo because it didn't sting his eyes (he was 8 or 9 I think). He had a crew type cut so didn't do a lot of brushing and combing. My mom finally caught on because one day she did try to adjust his hair before church with a comb and came up with layers and layers of waxy build-up. My bro. was completely unphased. She finally had to hide the conditioner!

[Cheeseburger]

Maybe make baths/showers have to have a certain time?? Like no rushing through the shower you are going to be in there at least x amount of time and you are going to clean good. Then if you notice him smelling too soon after a shower, back into the shower again for x amount of time. And remind him he can do it right the first time, or he can spend all day in the shower. LOL

As for wiping - maybe try baby wipes? They work better than TP... easier for preschoolers at least, to get it without getting messier. My nephews that are toilet training, use wipes because they just cannot manage getting clean with TP - and it'll ball up and stick to their butts or whatever type thing. you know what i mean.

[luvmy4sons]

I have found that each of my sons matured at very different rates. While my oldest was capable of bathing himself around 6 or 7 my youngest still at 12 will need reminded to put on deodorant, wear clean clothes etc...I simple took the roll of reminding them as they went into the shower what was required. Wash you hair. Be sure to wash you arm pits etc...did you put on deordorant? After I have consistent yes's to those questions I let them go slowly away. They WILL eventually WANT to start taking care of this themselves. Some are just slower than others in this department. :-D

ALSO I had two sons who needed deodorant at the age of seven. It is becoming more and more common. I bought that salt deodorant for them when for several years till they got older and asked for regular deodorant. I try to find the kind without aluminium in it. It is possible he smells because he needs deodorant despite his age. :???:

[gen]

You know what, in a way, with my girls we have similar issues and it never crossed my mind to do anything like that to them. I would think that would be too humiliating. My girls have weak bladders and sometimes they just stink. I do my job in making sure they are clean when they go to bed, go to school etc. I dont even make a big issue about it bc its something they cant help and its hard enough for them having the problem, they dont need me going on about it. I have tought them to clean themselves but sometimes they still just stink. I feel the same in that I cant stand the smell but this too shall pass. Anyway, to answer you oq... I think it would be to humiliating. I know Im not offering any other options but I would rule out humiliating them. Thats just how I do it. (unless it involves picking my nose in front of their friends... or singing and dancing in the supermarket that is:mrgreen:)

[kanaclark]

Oh, Gen, if that boogy needs out, whether it's the ones from the nose or that dancin' boogy, it's coming out. I don't think twice about singing and dancing in the grocery store, LOL

We're gonna try with some "older" soap/bath wash. Something not "kid" oriented, ya know. But, yeah, as for the deo thing, he's supose to wear it, does he? I don't think he does, LOL. He shares in that sweat/stink issue like his mama, I just shower better/more frequently, :-)

[DoubleH]

that's cute about the boogy, Kana.:-D And wow, I really feel for you with this whole issue. I don't really have suggestions but I would say, try not to humiliate him but treat him respectfully in all of this. I had some sorta similar issues when I was younger - didn't wear deoderant as soon as I should have, and my mom, bless her, did NOT handle it well. She made me feel like a little kid in her approach and it angered me and made me feel even less like doing what she wanted. I think your idea of looking for more adult soaps, etc is a good one - stuff that he'll want to use. Hope it goes well!

[jen1981]

Good advice here! As far as the wiping thing, get him some Kandoo wipes. Walmart and Target sell them. Thay are like a wet wipe, but more "big kid" and larger. Come in a handy dispenser and you can buy refills for them.

[Jemma2]

Maybe he also needs a stronger soap. Something antibacterial maybe?