The wrong name

[mom n luv]

My DS 18 months has started calling my DH, Mark, rather than daddy. Right now I just say yes Daddy's home or yes Daddy went outside. Basically I just repeat whatever he said using Daddy. He quite often will switch back to Daddy.

We think that for the most part he is just experimenting, but sometimes it is evident thta he is saying een though he knows it's not right.

Any suggestions on how to approach this?

[Gracie]

My DD does the same thing. Shes 2 years old and calls her Daddy by his first name all the time. :lol:

[Madre]

I'm sure many kids "test the waters" on this one, but, personally, I don't think this is respectful. I think, though, you will have to be a little more firm about this. When your son calls your dh by his first name and you say, "Yes, Daddy this or that", I think he begins to equate Mark=Daddy. I would make it very clear that he is not to call his dad by his first name. "No, we call Daddy, Daddy. You are not to call him by his first name." As they get older they come up with, "But that's his name, isn't it?" "Yes, but not to you." :wink:

[Aalena]

Some friend of ours went through this with their first son when he was 2. It was because she referred to her dh by his first name. She actually started calling him dad for a while and it worked.

[breezykc2]

I think you are doing good just repeating and using "Daddy" instead of the name, I also agree that maybe you calling him Daddy for awhile might help.....he's 18 months old! This is NOTHING disrespectful at this age! They are just putting together the fact that a name equals a person and a title refers to someone and learning new sounds and words! They absorb so much new info each day and they just try new things out and see if they work! This is normal kid stuff! No worries! Encourage him that he knows what his Dad's name is! Say yes, that's his name, but we call him Daddy, it will get through. It's important for him to be able to tell others his Dad's name too if needed!

[mom n luv]

Thanks for the tips.

When I am talking to Mark in front of Ben I do say Mark, so I have started to say stuff like " Daddy can you hand me the paper." So weird, but worth a try.

[Madre]

.....he's 18 months old! This is NOTHING disrespectful at this age!

Possibly not. I was looking ahead a few years. What's cute at 2 isn't always so cute at 6 or 7 if allowed to continue. :wink: You do bring up some good points, though.[thumbsup]

I don't think it's disrespectful as such but could be hurtful. I have tried to teach Abby our names ... not so she can call us by them LOL but so she knows them. I think it's good for safety purposes eg if she got lost she would be able to tell the Police what our names are. :wink:
She has copied me occasionally when I've called out to Paul LOL
I'm sure it's a stage every child goes through...
I wouldn't worry too much about it unless he does start calling daddy Mark all the time. He has probably just heard you calling him that so many times he is starting to copy you LOL
I call Paul "dear" or "baby" and Abby does it too sometimes HAHAHA it's hilarious! She stands at the babygate calling "dear?!" [rofl]

Thanks for the tips.

When I am talking to Mark in front of Ben I do say Mark, so I have started to say stuff like " Daddy can you hand me the paper." So weird, but worth a try.

That must be why my grandmother calls her husband "dad" all the time... and her kids have all left home! [rofl] I always thought it was weird. I can't imagine calling Paul "dad" or "daddy". If I did it all the time I would probably get so used to it that I will still be calling him "dad" when the kids have all moved out and we are in our 70s LOL

[mom n luv]

Madre,
I most definitely agree that this could very quickly bleed into a disrespect situation if not handled thats why I posted to get some opinions. I guess my biggest fear in focusing on it to much is that he would pick up that it is yet another testing point and he is in a testing funk right now. He is testing rules he has been steadily following for months like no feet on the table, no spitting food, ect.. I am quite sure if he realized saying Mark was breaking a rule he would latch onto that and then start doing it on purpose(disrespectfully) rather than just as an experiment. I am thinking if we ignore it and give no feedback that this wil just disappear. With a new baby on the way within the week(hopefully) I feel like I just want to avoid another battle because so many seem to be cropping up right now. Am I letting what is good for me get in the way of my ultimate goal of raising a respectful young man?

[Madre]

Karla, I didn't realize that you were due so soon. Believe me, I know what it 's like to be pg in the summer with a toddler running around. :shock: I think that Breezykc2 made a good point when she said:

Encourage him that he knows what his Dad's name is! Say yes, that's his name, but we call him Daddy, it will get through. It's important for him to be able to tell others his Dad's name too if needed!

You will have a lot to focus on in the coming weeks so I would just reinforce this when it comes up, but she is probably right not to make a huge deal out of it. I tend to think along the lines of older kids (because that's what I have). :D I'm sure you'll find other little issues cropping up as your little guy gets used to a new baby, too. God is faithful, though.

[harmony5]

Your post reminded me of the only time I can remember Alex calling my dh by his name. He was pouting one morning and I asked him what was wrong. He told me "Duncan won't let me wear my Bugs Bunny underwear". :cry: It took all I had not to die laughing!! Come to find out, they were dirty and dh told him he couldn't wear them until I washed them. :lol:

Oh, and just to let you all know, I call my dh "daddy" all the time. [whistle] I don't really know why! I guess because that is what the kids call him, so I'm just following along. :wink:

Lori

[Godzgirl]

I don't call my dh by his first name, i usually call him honey or hun so my daughter will sometimes call out "HUN!" :lol: But she usually calls him daddy. I do try to make it a point that he is to be called daddy by saying things like "yea, daddy's home! or "look there's daddy", etc.

Could be just facinated by the two different names or something???

My twins call us by our first names as a joke/game sometimes or to tease, they don't mean a thing by it though and we are Mummy and Daddy. It's not in the context of actually CALLING us by our first names, I know they like the sound of using a different title and they are curious about it.

they will mainly do things like DD will come up to me and go "Hello Emma, what are you doing Emma, is your name Emma?" and laugh her head off, as I know she is just playing I just laugh at her. Our kids do respect us and like Renee was mentioning we make sure that the kids do KNOW our first names for security reasons.... if they ever did get lost at a shop (not that that would happen) and security needed to page us, it would help if they knew another name apart from Mummy and Daddy. We also make sure they know their full name first and sirname for the same reason.

I think if kids are doing it in a disrespectful context it's different however, it depends on the context and I T/A at that age they don't know disrespect, and at that age I would definately say he is experimenting the 2 names.

[cjropher]

Our 4 year old did that for a while when he was about 2. He was so funny about it, calling both of us by our first names a bit. We would correct him each time and he got over it. There is something disconcerting about a 2 year old calling out, Jaylene or Chris! The funniest though was when a friend was looking after him 1 day a week. He went with her and she had 3 kids. They were in Costco with her mom and she went with 2 of her boys to the washroom. James looked up to her mom and asked, "where's Mom?" but he didn't mean me, he meant my friend, Patti! Then that night, they told me about this and I said to James, you call me mom, you call Mrs. Patti, Mrs. Patti. James looked at me and said, no, I call her Mom, I call you Jaylene! [whateeeeeksign]

We figured that dh and I almost always call each other by our first names. Patti has 3 boys, so they all call her Mom. Her dh wasn't home during the day so she only had that name! To him it was a name. I did laugh when he said it, after I turned pale I'm sure. But it passed and now, when asked what our real names are, it's usually Mommy Jaylene... and Daddy Chris... so it's all figured out. I agree though, cute at 2, not so much at 7. And to think that some schools have the kids calling the teachers by the first names... What happened to respect???

[Timmys mom]

Yeah, Timmy almost always calls us mommy and daddy, unless he just heard us call for each other. Jacob has a habit of calling "Chrissy" when he needs me, so Timmy will sometimes do it too if he's in another room, but not if I'm near by. Whats funny is he'll call any older woman Grandma. Even if they're strangers. I guess it's because we call both his grandmas and his great grandmas grandma. So he figures any older woman is just a grandma.

I always call DH "daddy" or "dad" and he does the same for me ("momma" or "mommy"). My parents did the same thing too. But is kinda weird cause my brother and I have been gone from home for some time now and they still call eachother that! :?

I think it is disrespectful when an older child (5 or 6) does it, but someone so young is just learning. I would do as you are and continue to correct him. He will get the picture. My neices and nephew have always called their parents by their first names. It irriates (sp?) my FIL to no end. He tells them they should call their mother "Mother" and not "Kim". I think so too, but they are not my children...

It is good that they know your names though. I lost Aaron in Kmart when he was about 2 1/2. Talk about panic!!! [whateeeeeksign] Then I heard my name being paged over the intercom. He had followed a lady w/a small girl about his age and they had a balloon. She took him to the front counter and he told them my name. Thank God for kind women and a small town!!! I don't know what he would have told them if he didn't know my name. But he has never once called me "Carolyn". It's always "Mom". Don't worry, you are doing the right thing.

[Rach]

I always wondered why my gma and gpa called each other Mom and Dad when I was young.

Now I know! I also had to start referring to dh as "daddy" to get the kids to do the same. :wink:

Madre,
I most definitely agree that this could very quickly bleed into a disrespect situation if not handled thats why I posted to get some opinions. I guess my biggest fear in focusing on it to much is that he would pick up that it is yet another testing point and he is in a testing funk right now. He is testing rules he has been steadily following for months like no feet on the table, no spitting food, ect.. I am quite sure if he realized saying Mark was breaking a rule he would latch onto that and then start doing it on purpose(disrespectfully) rather than just as an experiment. I am thinking if we ignore it and give no feedback that this wil just disappear. With a new baby on the way within the week(hopefully) I feel like I just want to avoid another battle because so many seem to be cropping up right now. Am I letting what is good for me get in the way of my ultimate goal of raising a respectful young man?

That sounds like a good idea... to just ignore it or like someone else said say something like "yes that's right that's daddys name but we call him daddy".

I also think teachers and any elder that is not family (eg a church leader) should be called "Mr _____ " or "Mrs _______". We always called our teachers only by Mr and Mrs and their last name.

My parents always called each other by name eg Peter/Mary or "dear". They never called each other "mum" and "dad". Only if they were talking to us about each other eg "go and ask your mother".
We will do the same.
Neither me nor my sister ever called/call our parents by their name.

[luvmy4sons]

Thanks for the tips.

When I am talking to Mark in front of Ben I do say Mark, so I have started to say stuff like " Daddy can you hand me the paper." So weird, but worth a try.

I STILL call my husband daddy to my sons when referring to him for them. They are 16,14,12 and 10! It just seems natural! :)

[mamallama]

I always call my DH "daddy" or even "babes" (our little nickname) in front of my kids. Occasionally I will say David but not very often. I call him what I expect them to say. A few times my dd (who is three now) has called him "babes" but she would say it in a sing-song way and I knew she was playing around. She knows that that is only something mommy and daddy call each other. But I totally agree with children calling parents by their first names as being very disrespectful. I would make it very plain that it is unacceptable.

[7thHeaven]

Sam is 18 months also and she only calls us by name if we call each other by name, therefore, all we say now is Mommy or Daddy when we're talking to each other. What your doing to correct her is a great idea! :wink:

[Reneemomto5]

Each of one of my children has done this to both hubby and I. But there also is some importanct to this, they should know your name and hubby's name it is very important. We purposely teach our children our first and last(theirs too) name at an early age so if they were ever to get lost or anything its important for them to know who they are and the names of their parents.

We work in a very public and busy family business at various fairs and events and many times other children who get lost barely know their own names when lost. If my kids call me "Renee" I simply smile and say "that's good, okay or mommy what did you need....." Never any disrespect meant, just a learning experience.

[7thHeaven]

We purposely teach our children our first and last(theirs too) name at an early age so if they were ever to get lost or anything its important for them to know who they are and the names of their parents.

We work in a very public and busy family business at various fairs and events and many times other children who get lost barely know their own names when lost. If my kids call me "Renee" I simply smile and say "that's good, okay or mommy what did you need....." Never any disrespect meant, just a learning experience.

Thanks for telling us that, that is a great idea! :wink: