blunt disobediance

I'm sure all the uproar around this house has had some affect on Angela's behaviour!

For the past three days she just stands there and looks at me in a " I dare you to do something I'll scream for Granny " kind of stare off...

Yesterday Angela actually got down on her knees outside in plain view of Granny's window and called the neighbor puppies over to her...Then allowed them to jump on her face and throw her back onto the concrete all the while screaming " get them off! get them off!"

Now, I'd rescue my daughter if she were in danger...This was clearly an act...She put on a show infront of her Granny's window!!! As a sort of serves her right kind of way, one of the puppies scratched her face and her head hit the pavement with a clonk!

Now, due to her behavior Mon-Wed, I haven't allowed her to go upstairs a single minute for any reason...When it was chore time, she turned on the tv, when it was reading time, she fixed herself a snack, and when it was bed time she started doing chores and dumped a trashcan full of broken glass all over the floor!!!

Now she's in bed screaming and crying and saying she's scared of the dark (for the first time in 2yrs)...I am so tired of this.....

What's a mom to do??? Any suggestions would be appreciated...

[stephwhiz]

My kids are on Spring Break this week and have not been on their best behavior. I have taken privledges away from them, made them clean the playroom and threatened them with their lives, but not much is working around here. I think it is spring fever or something. :x

I wish I could be of more help to you but I thought I would just let you know I am in the same boat and I think that boat is sinking or atleast my nerves are at this point! [crwy]

Stephanie

haha :lol: no the life threatening thing didn't work for me either....maybe we should follow through...that'll show 'em [rofl]

[Bekah]

I really have no advice for you... and since I am currently going through the terrible twos I thought I'd let you khow you aren't alone in disobedience.

[meg]

Kids who are normally well behaved can become pretty stroppy if there is stress in the home, which, from what you've said, might be the case.

I don't really have any advice. Maybe just stay firm in expectations of behaviour, but gentle and understanding at the same time? :?

Praying for you!

[kymommy]

Pray pray pray! Pray that God will guide you in your discipline and will give your daughter and obedient heart.

when my children are going through behavior issues, I usually want to run away and take lots of breaks from them, but that is usually when they need me the most.

I've found that behavior issues arise in our family when we are too busy and I am inconsistant. The more we settle down, stay home, and keep up routines, the more success I have with establishing good behavior.

There are so many good books available for discipline help, the best being God's word. I will be praying,
kymommy

Thanks Kymommy [pray]

[kymommy]

You are very, very welcome. Keep us updated!
Kymommy

Angela's behavior changed dramatically when we limited time spent with the inlaws...The real kicker was when she got up early Saturday morning and did all the dishes and wiped down the kitchen for me....

I caved two days ago and let her go upstairs for 4hrs...she came back smart mouthing me and she hurt the dog and lied about it....

I tested the waters yesterday and let her go up for 3hrs....she still came back smart mouthing me and talking hatefully..

Today she went out to eat with the inlaws....maybe 1hr.....every is back to normal....she's been real well behaved and polite again...

Soooooo.......I'm thinking sending her up after 7pm because they go to sleep by 8...I should be able to deal with that and they get to see their angel!

Getting her into a stable church helped and praying more for parenting help...I've made changes in her diet, though MIL gave her red dye 40 a few weeks back and we almost had to make an ER trip but she came out of it alright....she's now working on drama at church and gets to play with kids around her age, the neighbor's daughter played over two days in role but she's gone for the summer...anyway just rambled thoughts on how things are goin

[luvmy4sons]

Training. Children need to be trained. Some people don't like that kind of talk. Like they are dogs or something, but they do. I spend an hour or so each morning and each evening with books and stories on what is expected of them, what the Bible says, of what happens when they disobey, how God's way is the best way. "Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right." Ephesians 6:1. I didn't tolerate down right disobedience or disrespect. www.Doorposts.com is a wonderful web site with charts and ways to help a parent be consistent. We had the If then chart. If you ......then you will.... and disobeience always was a spanking. And so was disrespect. Simply not tolerated. They have a wonderful book "Instruction for Righteousness" at that web site. You can look up any sin in the universe and it gives scriptures and Bible stories and creative disciplining ideas! They are too old to spank now but I still use that book. But to be honest. VERY rarely. I am reaping the years of my sowing and training. BUT they know they cannot tell me NO or talk back to me or sass me in anyway. It is NOT tolerated. God cannot protect them when they disobey. Our favorite saying is " Disobedience brings pain!" In more ways than one!

Thanks Leslie.....Since we don't have the money to pay the inlaws our living expense help, Angela's been going up alot to keep the peace....NOW my nephew is here for most of the summer days because his mommy can only have him for the summer if she has a day sitter and last summer she hardly saw him...So....now I fear Angela will be acting out more and more because he's a boy, he's caught in a divorce, he's public schooled, and his parents aren't Christian in any way,shape,or form.....plus they're both with Granny the push over......so yeah I fear its gonna get bad...

[luvmy4sons]

Wow! Yeah. Could pose issues. But maybe if you had some training time each day with them both you could be a positive influence in his life. Let you light shine for him! It will be difficult to be sure. Whenever I have kids over here ( including a nephew who goes to public schoo land is not a Christian) I go about business as if they weren't. We do devotions and read our Bibles nd I have my time each morning and night with whomever is here. That is how I witness. I won't hide Jesus. I don't try to push, but behave just as if I would were they Christains. And for kids our usual routine goes on as normal! It has had a positive effect on my nephew. He still sasses his parents, unfortunately, but he NEVER sasses me. Somtimes I remind him that I am used to being obeyed and he gets right to it!

Here's the downfall to that...The father who has custody is so against church and topics of the Bible, that he refused to attend Angela's Christening or allow his son to be Christened...I would be afraid of stirring up way much trouble with the custody issues if I interfered...Angela talks to him a little bit about Jesus...The rest is just sitting in the distance and praying...not to mention this kid can't stand me....never has...I held him once as a baby and thats all....which is odd cuz the kids on my side of the family were practically half raised by me from the time I was 6yrs old...So yeah I really don't have an attatchment to this kid.....

I'm keeping Angela home tomorrow........she was horrific in church tonight

[cjropher]

Leslie, that site sounds awesome but it doesn't go anywhere, it just says that domain name is for sale.

[luvmy4sons]

Sorry. It was .net and not .com Here is a better link I hope!

http://www.doorposts.net/

Thanks Leslie, I marked it and will check it out when I have more time.

This situation has improved a little. We've cut out Granny for the week and she usually only goes on the weekends...However, this week she lost that privelage also...So we should have a pretty nice week once her attitude straightens out...Thankyou for the prayers about this situation also.