The past couple weeks my dd has been coming in our bedroom in the middle of the night and she wants to sleep with us in our bed. I wouldn't care if I had a king size bed.. they could all come crawl in bed with us and I would be fine with it. But we have a double and its a tight squeeze with just dh and I and my co-sleeping 8 month old. There is seriously just no room for another body in our bed. My 4 year old doesn't understand this, or doesn't care and so she cries and fusses until I either let her sleep in our bed (which means I get no sleep) or put her on the couch with a movie. I don't want to do either of these things but for her to go back to her bed it would take a spanking and a lot of crying. Who wants to deal with that at 3am? Have any of you dealt with something similiar? Looking for suggestions here! TIA

Abby, who is 3, started doing this. Personally, even if I had a king size bed it would bug me. I just told her no, spanked her and then sent her back to her bed. I told her she could come later when morning was almost here. So now she will wait till about 6:30 when the sun is coming up, to come a snuggle us. This past couple of days she's been sick, so I brought her mattress into our room and she was happy with that. So maybe that would work, if you let her sleep on a mattress on the floor? Is she scared for any reason? Maybe it's because of the baby? I think I would just bring her mattress in the room. Maybe try snuggling her for a while in your bed,just the two of you. then tell her you'll see her in the morning. She just might be wanting more of you and daddy.

The first few times Rhyanne wanted to sleep in bed with me it was hard to say no but now it is easier because she knows that sleeping in my bed isn't an option. There are a few exceptions if she wakes up in the middle of the night and is scared or there is a storm or of course if she is sick but other then that...nope, everyone to their own bed!

we're not into the shared bed thing here UNLESS it's a nursing baby, then it's just better for everyone involved, LOL. When Gabe was about 4, we had the same issue, and we told him for every 2 nights he slept in HIS bed, he could spend the 3rd night on the couch watching tv. When that worked for about 3 weeks, we went to 3 nights in bed, 1 night on the couch, then 4 nights, then 5 and so on. Once he realized he was sleeping in his bed for, I think we made it to like 9 nights in a row, over a week, he was fine in his room again.

First...decide what you *really* want to happen. Do you want her to go back to her room? Or is it ok for her to be in your room at 3am?

If you really want her to go back to her room, then you're going to have to 'bite the bullet' and deal with that issue for a while. No matter what it entails. If that means getting up, spanking and crying, so be it. Discipline takes work, remember? ;)

However, if you do not have a problem with enforcing this pattern, then set some blankets or whatever off to the side on the floor where she can cozy in when she comes into your room. Explain to her beforehand..I know you wake up sometimes and can't get back to sleep in your room. You want to be near mom and dad. But we just don't have room in our bed with the baby in there too. So, I've made a little bed in the floor next to me. *JUST* for you. Anytime you wake up during the night, you can come in and lie on those blankets, ok?

You just really have to decide what you really want to happen. :)

(yes, that's a lot of reallys LOL)

I totally agree! At our house it would just be unacceptable. We dealt with those issues when the kids were younger. Now they know their place is in their own bed. Personally I would do just as Tara suggested. If you don't want her in there, you gotta get tough mama -- even if it is hard.. Otherwise a pallet in the floor sounds good. Either way she will probably decide her bed is the best choice because who wants to sleep on a hard, cold floor? lol

Is she scared for any reason? Maybe it's because of the baby? I think I would just bring her mattress in the room. Maybe try snuggling her for a while in your bed,just the two of you. then tell her you'll see her in the morning. She just might be wanting more of you and daddy.

She has said she has bad dreams in her bed but she also knows what to say to get her way. I don't doubt she has had nightmares before but I don't think its everynight.
I have tried praying with her and lying in her bed with her but she's still insistent on sleeping with us. It may be because she wants more of us, thats part of why I am having a hard time with telling her no.

However, if you do not have a problem with enforcing this pattern, then set some blankets or whatever off to the side on the floor where she can cozy in when she comes into your room. Explain to her beforehand..I know you wake up sometimes and can't get back to sleep in your room. You want to be near mom and dad. But we just don't have room in our bed with the baby in there too. So, I've made a little bed in the floor next to me. *JUST* for you. Anytime you wake up during the night, you can come in and lie on those blankets, ok?


Haha.. this is exactly what I did last night. But, I'm not dealing with a typical 4 year old here. She's is a very stubborn, strong willed and hard headed little girl! The bed on the floor was not good enough, she wanted me to make her a bed on the gliding chair in our room instead. (which was not good enough when I suggested it the night before). I know I shouldn't have but I did. I just wanted to sleep!! Then all the comotion woke Lawson up and he ended up in our bed at our feet.
I think I'm going to have to go through a night or two of her crying herself to sleep after a spanking. I really don't want to.. but she honestly will not listen to anything else.

Thanks for all the advice ladies!

Yeah...if they're going to try to be stubborn, you gotta be stubborn back. hehe

I know it's hard when you just.need.sleep!! Just..do what you have to do. It'll only last a little while ;) *hugs*

Matthew was really bad about this for awhile, but after I carried him back to his bed a few times, he would only come into my room if he was afraid or sick. He does really well now, when he stays with us and always sleeps in his bed in his room at my parents.

Cash of course is still in his bassinet in our room, but is about to transition into his crib in his bedroom...just have to come up with some money to buy a monitor with. LOL!

My 4 year old stepson however, tries to get in bed with us almost every time he stays at our house. He isn't afriad,,,he just wants to get in bed with us because "the baby" sleeps in our room. This has ONLY happened since I had Cash. So, his is a major jealousy thing. At first my DH just took him back to his bed, but he would be back in our room within an hour. Now, if he comes in to our bed at night, he gets a spanking and taken back to his bed. He doesn't like it and will pitch a HUGE fit, but we have to keep it up because we too have a very small bed and just don't have the room for anyone else in there.

we are in the same boat!!! you know what we are doing? getting a king!!! seriously! it will be here in two weeks!! our double...just isn't big enough for our two year old and four year old. the four year old is generally the one that comes...but occasionally it's both. i love having them there...they are only small once....but i have explained to DS that mommy and daddy's bed is REALLY small...and that he has to stay in his bed until the sun comes out. but really, he keeps coming in out of habit...and still sleeping. so...i am waiting the king bed to arrive! :) it will be nice to have the space regardless if the kids come in or not.

My son has been on and off with this issue ever since I became pregnant with my dd (he was 2 then and is now 4). I have gone back and forth on the issue, allowing him to sleep in my room at times because it was easier than figuring out the sharing the room thing, other times because we had company and gave them his bed, etc. I decided when he started school and I started school that was it.

I have a little job chart for him that I started a couple weeks ago. Right now he has three "jobs" 1. Sleep in his own bed 2. Pee only in the toilet (he sometimes doesn't pay attention and pees on the floor) 3. Have a "green day" at school (they use a red, yellow, or green to indicate the child's overall behavior). I only do Mon. - Fri. to allow flexibility on the weekends, as we often have overnight company or sleep out elsewhere. I do a quarter each day for completing all three jobs, and he really looks forward to seeing me put the stickers on the chart. Once he masters the three he has now, I can add more and the reward will stay the same. Every child is different, but he thrives on reward, said he is "almost like a working man now, lol..."