Help please~15yr old boy???

Okay I've worked with my nephew and a few youth, but I've never ever actually had to delegate work to a 15yr old boy...The young man I'm working with doesn't seem to comprehend English :wink: I'll ask him to do something and he'll politely respond " Yes Ma'am " but then he'll do something completely opposite :?

Then he'll appologize all over himself if I point it out to him :(

I do believe the young man may have some self esteem issues or maybe he's slow or maybe its just what 15yr old boys do???

Could I please get some help...How do I go about building this young man up in the two weeks I'll have with him??

I in no way wish to tear him down as I'm sure my father and husband have done in the few weeks they've known him...

Its aggrivating I'm sure for two hard working men to be trying to repair things and then try to teach him something and have him not get it the first , second, third, sometimes more times.......

I just don't think his heart is in it, but his step dad seems diligent to make him learn some life lessons in all of this...

Basically he's been taken off repairs and thrown my way to do the manual labor and office work...I have no problem working with him, I just want to be a blessing to him...I'm the only one at the shop with an ounce of patients..

Please help...I need suggestions before Thursday :shock: :D

[stephwhiz]

Bless his heart! That is terrible. My only suggestion would be to give him something really easy to do and then praise and praise him again for a good job. Then slowly give him harder things to do. Maybe that would help rebuild his self-esteem. Poor young man, it may be hard to build him back up if he has been told over and over that he is no good. I'm glad God sent him to you because God knew that you would take care of him. Love ya, Stephanie :D :D :D :D :D

Thanks Steph! It sort of seems that way...You can tell their scoffs are hurting him :roll:

Honest though, I thought I had given him an easy job but he did it all wrong and it will take us an hour at least to redo it....I'll have to really really think about ways to help him...

Any more suggestions???

Poor boy! :( I'm glad he's got you to help him and hopefully you'll be able to build up his self esteem a bit...

What exactly is he doing with you now other than paperwork?

organizing parts, changing numbers and prices, and putting away stock and general cleaning...today he managed to misplace the belts and start a whole shelf of parts that he "couldn't find the boxes to" :roll:

he wants to help, he just gets confused...

Just be patient with him and let him know when he has done a good job. Also thank him when he does things. Even if he doesn't do it right/makes a mistake.

I know that being scared of making a mistake somehow seemed to always end up making me make a mistake! LOL And Paul has the same problem too.
Like when the boss is watching you constantly and you feel uneasy and nervous. It's not good. :D

HTH let us know how it goes...

[meg]

Aaaawww, poor kid :(

Glad to hear you've taken him under your wing - sometimes teen boys need the "gentleness" of the way a woman instructs/guides/teaches, more than the abrupt way busy men come across at times, if that makes sense.

As the others said, build his self esteem, praise him for the things he does get right, and he'll be chomping at the bit to do even more :)

Also, when you're showing him how to do something, make sure you've got his full attention, look him in the eye to make sure he's concentrating. Ask him questions to make sure he's getting it eg. "Are you with me so far?" "Any questions so far?" "Is this making sense to you?" "Am I explaining this clearly?" "Got it?" - all asked in a gentle tone to encourage him to ask questions without fear of looking stupid/incompetent etc. Maybe tell him what you found difficult when you started working, so he knows that everyone needs to learn things, and there's no shame in asking for clarification. Better than having to redo everything :lol:

Hmmm. Hope some of this helps! Glad to hear you're looking out for him Lis :)

Thanks everyone...I hope he shows tomorrow...I'll be all prayed up and ready to be kind to him.......today I was like

"don't kill him Lis he's only 15" :wink:

But later I realized how sad he seems...He's really trying...he's just not getting it kwim? :(

Thanks everyone.....I'll let ya know how it goes

[justmeNmine]

It sounds like maybe you should find out what part of the business he is most interested in and start there? I think at 15 some kids, especially if they have self-esteem issues, won't assert what they may very well be good at... it's almost as thought hey assume that the adult in the situation isn't goint to think they'd be good enopugh, kwim? I don't feel like I'm making much sense- the example I have is of a teenager girl who loves my children to pieces and would sort of beat around the bush that gee she really kind of likes kids and well, gee her older sister sure gets to do a lot of babysitting... I asked her to come over to watch the kids while I gave a business presentation and she was thrilled; she has also hinted at liking to bake, so we are going to set up teen baking night at the church- I guess the point is that sometimes teenagers don't feel validated with adults and won't assert what's on their minds, and we have to kind of "dig" to find a point of connection... I also don't actually know what your business is all about, though I've gathered that your husband is a mechanic? and you ship stuff? or do eBay?

We have FOUR businesses....The one I'm referring to is the mechanical part.Its called the family business..Opened by my father and possibly passed on to my husband and I in the future (just talk in the air kwim?) ..This young man was sent to us to be a mechanic in training but he doesn't "get" it easily and my father and husband have sent him indoors..

Yesterday he pretty much , well both of the teens, would only do what they were told to do.

He honestly seemed to linger around indoors alot. It could have been because I was giving him a little more respect, it could be my pretty niece which he knows is taken, or it could just be he doesn't like the outdoor work or feels he's failed the mechanics..I don't know...But I could surely use another set of hands..

I should mention that his DM and SD came by yesterday and his DM was hugging him infront of us and he didn't at all seem troubled by this...So they are CLOSE and I think maybe...meg I think was the one who mentioned "gentleness"...Thats probably what he's used to...When SD came up I told him to "look alive guardian on grounds" and he really got a :lol: out of that! The only time all day that he smiled...

Okay well time to get dressed and face another day! Praying we make progress in more ways than one today :D

Today was just free conversation over lunch, more getting aquainted and having fun time than work...He came in late and I left early....I'll see if we can work together and get something done next week...My teen helpers are being well....teen helpers :D boyfriends and spending time with Dad :lol: Looks like I'm on my own 'till Monday. :P

[Rach]

I would have him repeat/explain back to you what you want him to do. Sometimes people just need one on one training, basically hand over hand, to get it. I worked as a retail manager for MANY years! Everyone is trainable, as long as they have a good attitude, and it sounds like he does.

Also, I would give him some tasks that are really easy, or only one/2 step jobs. As previously said, at least he'll do something well and you can praise that. You can give him harder jobs, too, but don't be upset if he does it wrong.

Is there a language barrier?

no language barrier..that i could deal with

actually the men folk pulled him back out and he's just basically in a sink or swim situation..

my dad is like :x my hubby is like :x and the boy's like :shock: most hours of the day

he tends to creep his way into my office and want to chat..which is understandable since he hasn't a clue what to do outside of the office :roll:

i noticed today he was really really good with my child...he's super patient and generally enjoyed having her around..not in a bad way as i have experience with that and can usually spot those kind...he's just a fun loving teenager who likes kids...

i don't make money, he don't make money, but we're all having fun :lol:

[crys]

Oh, my heart goes out to him! My son is soon 15, and a single word of correction cuts deeply and invisibly, so I never know if he's understood or injured! He soaks up the approval, but I can only know that by looking for the clues. What a private and tormented age. Your your man has one advantage: a Godly woman who cares!

In a practical vein, my son does his work better if I can let him have a say in the how or when. If the lawn needs doing, I'll give him a guideline: I need the lawn mowed before Sunday. Can you get back to me with a plan?" He'll come to me with his idea and usually it is a good one, or one where he will soon see that he will need to adapt. He likes being trusted with something and knowing the reason behind the request.

A habit or defence that pops up now and then in my kids is one of helplessness. "If I blow this, they'll never ask me to do it again!" I have to fight not to take over and reinforce this notion. Maybe I'm the only one with kids with this type of genius? :roll:

All the best with your young man!

Crys

Well my coworker hasn't been around much...He's pulled in so many directions with being caught in a divorce and having to go to college early and just being a kid wanting to hang with his friends...While SD wants him to hold down a job he's not interesting in holding :roll:

Actually he's on the brink of getting fired but his last day is Friday of this week cuz school starts next week....Gee I hope my dad can hold off firing him for that long :lol:

Well our polite young man has left us. I hope I did some good for him. He's so lovable but I could tell he didn't want to be there. He wants to be a doctor, not a mechanic. The way he responded to Angela makes me think he'll go into peds..