We've hit that lovely stage...my 6 yr old is testing the limits.
We've been through it before, but, this one seems tougher to break.
It's not the 'lying just to make up a story' thing. Nor the 'lying to get someone else in trouble' thing. It's..'let's see what I can do that I know I'm not supposed to then lie my way out of it' thing.

He steals things. He gets TOTALLY busted, yet lies, right to my face, lies.

What's the consequence for lying in your house?

Hi, sweetie! (hug) Yeah, Scotty tried that right around the same age as your little guy. For some reason, my girls have never gone there. What I did was warn Scotty before I asked him a question. I'd be very calm and loving, so he wasn't afraid of telling the truth, then lay it out there very plainly, how we'll only have a talk if he tells me the truth about what he did, but that if he lied, he was going to be in HUGE trouble. We spanked and grounded for lying. I tried to present an enormous difference in consequences between telling the truth and lying. When he'd confess to me, I forced myself to not have a condemning attitude, and have an attitude of grace, instead, as well as praising him for being honest with me. Scotty became truthful to a fault. He still has the tendency to over confess, if that makes sense.

Good luck, hon. I remember how frustrating that was!

Joy

Sorry, we haven't really gotten to that phase in my home. Big hugs for you though!

Joy, that's what we've been trying to keep to, it just doesn't seem to be clicking yet with this one.
Ya know...sometimes the spanking just doesn't work for *a* child in *a* case...that's where I feel I am. Looking for Plan B.
Today was the 3rd time in less than a week! Ugh!
I'll keep working on my attitude through it all though <grins> I do tend to want to get snippy.

Maybe try some labor.
have him rake leaves or any other kind of work that needs done. he can think about what he has done while he does this.

Oh-boy, I remember how frustrating that was! I'd just keep reassuring him that making a mistake and talking about it is no big deal and nothing he should fear. Keep telling him he can talk to you about anything. Then remind him of how awful the consequences for lying are. It's soooo much easier to be honest. Hang in there, girl. He'll get it. It took Scotty awhile, too. Oh, btw... I even tried washing Scotty's mouth out with soap in the beginning. LOL! Made no difference. He really was afraid of getting in trouble. He needed lots of reassurance and then accolades when he told the truth.

Keep it up, my friend. You're doing a great job with your flock.

hugs!

Joy

Our eldest went through a lying phase at around 7 (your ds is way ahead of the game, hee hee). We've found taking away privileges and prized posessions as pretty effective with dd. Like Joy mentioned, I tried to be very calm if she did 'fess up, but made lying into the primary offense. We talked lots about trust and the natural consequences of losing trust. Talked a bit about how dd would feel if she was lied to etc. If this for any reason seemed to be more than a passing phase, if the child just wasn't getting it I would up the ante a bit and make the consequences more severe. IMHO spanking works for some kids with some issues, but not for all kids and all issues. HTH
Beth

Personally - haven't had to deal with this yet.

But - one of the ladies from my Bible Study dealt with this last summer with her 8 year old *yep yours is ahead of the game ::wink*.

While on vacation with his cousins, her son had stolen one of the other boys watches. Stowed it away in his luggage, came home with it and of course his mom found it, recognized it and heard from his aunt that it was "missing". Took a little work, but he eventually confessed after lying and lying and lying about it.

So - their punishment, he had to take a tour of the local juvenile detention center with his dad. Scared the you know what out of him. Hasn't lied *that they know of hehe* since.

Well thanks for the encouragement gals. I'll try to keep up with the calmer attitude. Reminding how 'nasty' lying is and how much easier it all is if the truth is told the first time. The consequences shall be much less severe that way ; )

We, too, have tried the soap trick. And again, it seemed to work better with the elder two. I'm tellin' ya..this Nugget is just a different kind of duck!! LOL

And, yeah, I guess my kids are *advanced* LMHO
They've all started this phase in year 6.

I've decided, as I said, to work harder on the calm attitude, etc. and to 'stake' him at my side. He will likely do a little copywork..an important scripture pertaining to 'false witness' comes to mind ;)

I was going to suggest finding verses about lying. How about in Acts - Annanias and Saphira? - they were struck dead for lying about the amount they sold their land for. (think I remember it correctly).

Janell

It's been awhile since I read it but Lisa Whelchels ("Blair" on Facts of Life) but she had a lot of good ideas for lying. One was kind of extreme, it was a drop of tabasco on the tongue. I have always tried to be "proactive" with my girls about lying. Make sure they know it's sin, it's wrong, and back up with scripture. Also explain in simple terms that if they lie to me, I can't trust them and I won't beleive anything they say. If they have been dishonest with me, then I make sure that I "don't believe" anything they say for a few days. For example, if my daughter comes to me and say's "Mom, Abbie pulled my hair", then I respond, Well, maybe she did, maybe she didn't, it's hard to believe you since you were dishonest with me yesterday. You are going to have to be completely honest with me for a few weeks before I will trust your words again" This totally worked for my first daughter and I'm pretty sure she hasn't been dishonest with me since.

We didn't have a problem with our eldest lying, but our younger son went through this phase not so long ago (he's 6, nearly 7 now).

When it first started happening, like a lot of kids, it was to try to get out of trouble. So, like a lot of other ladies here, we reinforced how wrong lying is, and that you get into a lot more trouble for lying than if you do the wrong thing, and 'fess up. Esp. if the "wrong thing" was a legitimate accident - we all mess up now and then.

However, if he was caught lying, he was in a lot more trouble. Time outs, loss of privileges, and seeing just how sad it made me. I also told him that liars cannot be trusted, so therefore I would not be able to trust him. For example, he would tell me that his homework was finished, and I would insist on seeing it. He would tell me that it was, and I would reply "So you say, but how do I know you are telling me the truth?". I didn't do this for days on end or anything, usually just the day the lie had been told. It helped him to see what it would be like if we couldn't trust him on an ongoing basis.

Forgot to add, being treated as though he couldn't be trusted seemed to make a bigger impact on him that anything else, because he wanted us to trust him. We also praised him to the skies for telling the truth, even if it meant getting into trouble for what he had done.

It seemed to work, as he's honest with us alllll the time now, even if it means an explanation that goes on, and on, and on, and on ........lol

Thanks for the advice ladies as we too are going through this with ds. He will be 6 the end of Nov. He does it also to try to get out of trouble. You've given me some great ideas!